Zift Page #2

Valentine's love letter

to someone named ""O."

To my master,

brother and dear friend,

my man most of all,

my eternal companion,

the first and last one

to know my heart.

I can never be your bride,

but I love you with

unbearable intensity!.

Valentine.

It was then my former cellmate,

Van Wurst-the Eye,

advised me not to write any letters,

love letters especially,

because they were looking

for a chance

to pick up a fight with me

and kill me.

Van Wurst-the Eye had a glass eye,

which would often pop out,

especially during boxing matches.

Van Wurst, Van Wurst, Van Wurst...

Chew him up.

Kill him!

Yes!

After dinner, before the bedtime

bell, we would arm-wrestle.

At first, Van Wurst

regularly beat me,

but with time

he found it more difficult.

You look at the sky, and it looks

back at you with its barred eye.

You're one dangerous man. With all

these tattoos you have no weak spot.

being dangerous keeps you safe.

If you're not dangerous in the can,

you fall victim.

Is that why you poked your eye out?

No. That was an accident.

I lost it

during a heist in Barcelona.

The jewels were hidden in

an antique clock.

I fumbled with it,

trying to take them out.

but the clock struck midnight.

The spring leaped

out and struck me in the eye.

It ran out right there.

In Barcelona?

- Yes.

And they locked me up

in the Modelo Prison

a panopticon.

This eye here on the top

of the watchtower, I got it there.

Panopticon?.

That's right. A round prison.

There was this watchtower

in the center

And cells all around it. No doors.

You can't hide.

The wardens see everything.

Pan-opticon.

The eye that sees all.

The eye is the fastest thing, Moth.

Once you cast a glance,

it travels with the speed of light.

To hide from it,

you have to exceed that speed,

which is impossible by nature.

There I understood

the most important thing.

On the way out of the panopticon,

a sign meets you:

""Abandon all hope, ye who enter here."'

Ha. You get out of the can

to enter life's hell.

Yes, Moth. Hope is a bird

that flies only inside the cage.

If you let it free, it dies.

There's no hope outside.

There's no hope

if you don't have a plan.

You have one?.

- Yes.

What is it?

- To take off for the tropics.

When you take off for the tropics,

know that corals

are fragile creatures.

They die when the filthy

human hand touches them.

I need peace.

To find peace, Moth, you have to cut

off your ties with the world.

Especially with women.

Especially with the Woman.

Know that:
man is a living coral,

until he's touched by the Woman.

When the Woman touches him,

hell touches him.

Hell has already touched me.

In Hell or Paradise,

the Woman is a rolling dice.

I fell in love with Ada

when I was 18.

A tight-fitting,

brilliantly black school-uniform,

the aroma of raw milk,

mesmerizing eyes,

pupils of jet,

and eyebrows of pure asphalt.

The crotch - invitingly loose,

her flesh seeking touch.

Her thighs parted shyly,

and I peeped in.

Her eyes lingered on me,

blazing bonfires.

Her voice was soft and silky

like plum jam,

she pulled a hidden trigger

inside me.

Did you come?

I unloaded,

as if releasing a jammed torpedo.

So began our romance.

Moth, have you heard of

the lie detector?.

When they wire you up

during interrogation?.

Yes.

They wire you to a dynamo.

If you lie,

you get an electric shock.

Lies turn the dynamo

and generate electricity.

The inventor of that wire

used to draw a comic series

about a female,

who enslaved men

by lassoing their secrets.

So, the comic-book guy

gave a scientific twist

to the idea of the female lasso

and came up with the lie detector.

Slug.

The diamond, Moth.

My dick, Slug.

Stand still!.

Where did you hide it, boy?.

You hid it.

F***ing a**hole.

Sir, yes, sir.

You found it.

You found it, you piece of sh*t.

Yes. I shoved it up my ass.

Is that so?

Go ahead. Search me.

Stick it inside.

We'll fix your memory circuit.

I bought a praying mantis in a jar

from a woman at the flea market.

I wanted to buy a pair,

so they can keep each other company,

but the woman warned me that some day

one of them would devour the other.

So I dropped the idea.

On my strolls by the Canal,

I'd bring the mantis with me.

I'd take her out of the jar

and let her graze,

and regain her sense of freedom...

I gave the mantis to Ada

as a proof that I was crazy about her.

She fell in love with the insect.

Moth and Mantis - that's how we

came to be known

among the local gangs.

I was good at boxing and won

fame in the neighborhood.

Ada liked to watch me fight,

so we could make love

like animals afterwards.

Fighting turns women on.

For a while we fooled around in

alleyways,

among refuse and excrement.

We wanted to get married,

get our own place

and love each other forever,

but we needed money.

She wanted to be a singer,

but dropped out of school

and needed to find a job.

I dreamed about making it big

in boxing

and writing an autobiography,

in a foreign tongue.

We got tattooed by a barber, an old

anarchist and a former jailbird.

I asked for a large moth

on my shoulder,

she wanted a mantis

below her bellybutton.

After that Ada decided

to set the insect free.

I'm pregnant.

I ripened on the spot.

We decided to rent an apartment.

We needed cash, so I took a day job

in a factory.

but for Ada, we had to see the Slug,

a local con artist.

He found odd jobs.

He sent Ada off

to be a maid to a jeweler.

His name was

Vladivostok Dmitrievich Lolushkin,

a former white-guard.

They called him Vlad the Bijou.

He lived close

to the Doctor's Garden.

Slug had a plan.

Ada had to work for Bijou until

he fell victim to her feminine guile.

The safe is in the wall of the lobby.

The valuables are not in there

though, but on top of the cupboard.

How did you find that out?

I eavesdropped.

Spit it out.

- A diamond.

Where?.

- In the negro's penis.

An African statuette.

You kidding?.

- No.

Ever since he got the statuette,

bijou always keeps an eye on me

when I tidy up

and wouldn"t let me touch it.

How big is it?

- A bit over ten inches.

And the penis?

- A bit less than ten.

Is it heavy?.

- Quite.

How come the negro doesn't tip over?

- It does.

So there's something hidden

inside the penis.

That's what I was saying.

The other day I took it in my hands

to wipe it and found the dick twists.

bijou bristled up, told me

it was a very valuable object,

and I shouldn't get anywhere near it.

We'll lift it.

- How?

There's a way.

bijou goes

to the Russian club every Friday.

You have two days

to take an imprint of his key.

In two days, tell me how?

- I don't know.

Mount him.

You mount him.

bijou doesn't have a wiener.

- Girl, don't f*** with me.

I'm not. He told me so.

He told you?.

- Yes.

He was born in Odessa with a wiener.

His sister saw him naked

She asked about the thing

hanging between his legs.

They told her it's something

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