Zookeeper Page #7

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We should rob banks.

I'm in.

If you say, "Let us knock off

a gas station," I'd do it right now.

Give me your hand, feel this.

Feel my heartbeat, it's like a rabbit.

All right.

Oh, my God.

Actually, that's not good.

Yeah, no, I gotta get that checked.

Yeah.

And Kate, you were incredible.

Thank you.

I'm really glad that you asked me

to come out tonight.

Francois.

I heard what happened.

I'm so sorry.

Gale can be such an idiot.

Hey, I know you.

You're that little zoo girl, right?

Kate, yeah.

Okay, thank you so much

for saving us from that lion.

Oh, my God, I almost passed out.

I was so scared.

Um...

Grif, do you think maybe we

could go somewhere and talk?

Can we just have a sec?

Sure.

It worked. Can you believe it?

Yeah.

That's... That's amazing.

That's what we came here for, right?

It is, I...

You need to do this.

Yeah?

Yes, yes.

You helped so much, thank you.

No, I'm just gonna take a taxi,

or a shuttle or something.

Go, go.

Are you sure?

I can't believe it, thank you.

Hey, Stephanie.

Hey.

Hi.

Yay.

Okay, let's review your order.

That'll be 64 meat lover's pizzas,

And can I interest you

in our new fudge roll?

Yes.

All right, let's see,

that's a total of $1636. 74.

Will that be cash or credit?

Hang it up, hang it up.

So close.

I am so happy right now.

You know that, ever feel that?

All the time, like...

You happy now?

Because right now I'm happy.

And it's, like, all of a sudden it just

hits you, like, bam, I'm happy now.

Gosh, you know, I have a fashion

show tomorrow, I want you to come.

Tomorrow, I'm supposed to work.

Sad face.

How about instead...

What?

You come to the zoo.

I give you a private tour.

That's a terrible idea.

I really thought

you were different.

But the same old zoo stuff.

You know what?

Let someone else zoo-keep tomorrow.

Really?

Yeah.

I don't remember this Griffin.

Yeah, well, you get used to it

because now it's all about you.

Okay.

You know what else?

You got a bat in the cave.

Yeah, she got a booger.

No, don't say that.

Gross.

No, other side, nostril.

Take care of that.

I'm going to the bathroom.

You better.

Don't go anywhere.

Not going anywhere.

Throw out the napkin.

Okay, I'm so sorry.

Dead empty when

you get back, woman.

Okay.

In the car crash

I hurt myself

Jurgen. Jurgen.

Stephanie.

Hi.

Kiss, kiss.

This is Jurgen Milraux.

Who is this chaotic pile of man?

He's ruining the vibes here.

He is a waste of space.

I'm sorry, what?

You scream, "Help me,

I'm worthless and funny-looking."

Can I, uh...?

Can I ask you a question?

Yes.

Hey, Siegfried, where's Roy?

What?

How's the chocolate factory,

Willy Wonka?

I'm sorry, but you walked

right into that one, grandma hair.

Grandma hair?

He got the grandma hair,

he got the grandma hair.

I don't understand one word.

Here's what you have to

understand, your face is a poem.

I feel

pleasure.

Whoa, let's put the donkey

back in the barn.

Gonna mingle.

You were awesome in there.

Oh, my God, my friends love you.

You were so great. I gotta say,

you are really getting there.

Hm?

Look, I hope you don't mind,

but I talked to your brother

and you have a job at the dealership

if you want it.

Is that pushy? Hey, you Know what?

Fine, I'm pushy.

It's just...

I think that that zoo is

really holding you back.

You deserve better.

We deserve better.

We?

Good call, Glenn.

An animal like you on this bad boy?

It's top of the food chain.

Follow.

Shana, wanna grab us

an espresso and a Montblanc?

- We're having a signing party.

- Yes, sir.

Enjoy the hunt.

Huh?

Ha-ha-huh.

Dancing.

Back off, Nimer.

You back off.

Oh, not cool.

Yeah.

What's up?

- Welcome to the dream.

- Help!

I don't like this thing!

Make it stop, make it stop!

That looks difficult.

You know what's not difficult?

Giving a supermodel the bad news

that I can't date you because I'm already

dating a supermodel. Ha, ha, ha.

Whoa! Mm.

Yeah.

Wow.

I gotta say, this is incredible.

Where have you been?

That's what I wanted

to talk to you about, I...

It's time.

Oh, God, he's calling,

letting her know he's here.

Watch this, look, look, look.

Aren't they amazing?

Yeah, no, they're great.

They're fast and sincere.

Did you know they mate for life?

I do now.

Listen, Kate, I wanted you

to be the first to know

that I took a job working for

my brother at his dealership.

Shut up.

I'm serious, I figured I'd...

I'd done everything I set out to

do in the zoo game and it was...

The zoo game? What the hell

are you talking about, Griffin?

You love working here, you're great at it.

The animals love you.

Yeah, but maybe that's not enough.

it's time I start thinking about myself.

Okay, is this coming

from you or Stephanie?

No, it's my decision... I mean, she

thinks it's a good idea, but I do too.

Wow.

Not buying it.

You can't see what's happening?

Yeah, I am changing me.

No, she's changing you

into something that you're not.

Well, maybe what I was before

wasn't what I was.

And it is now, maybe, that it is

if it is the way it is.

You're not making any sense.

Makes enough sense that you get it.

Okay, look,

if you wanna quit,

I'm not gonna stand in your way.

But I want you to look me in the eye and

tell me this is what you really want.

It is.

There you have it.

Hey, Bern,

got your favorite.

- Hey, listen, I just wanted to...

- Save it.

I already heard.

You know, you almost had me

convinced things could be different.

That I could actually trust

someone again.

You can.

Oh, I gotta take this. One sec.

Yo, go for Grif.

No, Mohegan blue. Mm-hm.

Chrome Wheel Package, buddy.

Papers are all ready for you,

make it happen, slam it.

All right, gotta go.

Oh, sorry, Bern.

All people lie,

and I was an idiot to believe you.

Hey, Shane.

I'm gonna let you in

on a little something.

Ten years ago, you and

Bernie had an incident.

I know what you did.

I also know you lied about it.

So?

So if you ever do

anything like that again,

I will go to your house and I will

beat you in front of your mother.

Yeah, I'm telling you, Vern, this baby

does zero to 60 in under four seconds.

Yeah, I don't know, I...

I got grandkids.

That's even better.

You stick them back here.

You tell them it's a secret cave.

I can't take it.

I miss Griffin.

I know you can't see it

but my lip won't stop quivering.

He wouldn't be gone if you'd listened.

You talked to him first.

Yeah, he's right, you know?

I can't take it.

You're killing us with the crying.

You were sobbing all night.

I wasn't, I have sleep apnea.

Sounded like baby-crying.

Baby-crying.

What did you say, thumbs?

Come down and say it to my face.

I leave this tree, I'm slapping you silly.

You come down

and I'll use you as a loofah.

How? You have no thumbs.

Oh, yeah? Let's do this.

I'll start from my back. Bring it.

That's it, I'm quitting my diet.

Can't quit something

you never started.

- You know what I think we should do?

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