$50K and a Call Girl: A Love Story

1

Street justice, punk!

I met my brother Ross

when I was three years old.

Growing up, Ross was

the cute one.

The athletic one.

The popular one.

But he was also my best friend

from the day I met him.

And from the day my dad

married his mom,

I never thought of him as

anything but my brother.

And I loved him.

When he was diagnosed

with brain cancer,

I decided to document

his survival.

This should've been the

end of the movie.

Instead, it's the beginning.

I want to hold the sun.

So this is Ross Patterson.

He just received

a penis reduction.

I gave three inches

to a needy kid in China.

And, uh...

And I'm reading

Highlights Magazine.

who always circles sh*t

in f***ing Highlights?

I want to find the rake

in the cloud,

I want to find the baseball

bat inside the tree nut.

You loved

Highlights when we were kids.

Hey, Ross?

- Oh, doctor's here.

Sorry to keep you waiting.

Brings a therapy dog

to a patient consultation,

it's a pretty good bet that

he's not delivering good news.

Hi.

- Um... yeah.

W-would you mind

putting that thing away

and shutting it off?

Um, because of the HIPAA Laws,

I have to have you document

So, if it's all right

with you, it's fine with me.

This has been going on

for two and half years,

I think we're fine.

We got the results back

from your PET scan.

And, um...

...here's where we stand.

Unfortunately, the tumor

is growing more rapidly

than we anticipated.

As a matter of fact,

we're at levels we haven't

seen in over a year.

Wait, s... so

what are you saying?

Uh... We're not

able to control

this with chemotherapy.

In addition, it's metastasized.

We found traces of the

cancer in your bone marrow,

in your liver,

and your pancreas.

Uh, considering your heart

condition,

I think more chemotherapy

is way too risky.

We do have other options.

What are my other options?

Um, o-okay, a-all right,

y-you need to understand

that this is not a cure,

but I think

we can significantly stop

the aggression of this tumor

with radiation therapy.

Yeah, I'm-I'm not going

back to chemo, all right?

I-I-I'm not...

...- I-I-I'm not getting...

- ... It's not...

...it's not chemo,

it's radiation.

I'm not getting

radiation again.

I-I'm not, I-I'm not gonna

lie here in a f***ing bed,

I'm not gonna

shave my head again,

I'm not gonna be pricked with

needles so you guys can...

...you don't

f***ing understand!

You have a choice, and you may

not want to do this,

but I think that

it would significantly shrink

the damage

that's being done by...

Okay, when you say

significantly shrink,

Like in terms of a timeline,

what are you saying,

like how much... What is

this gonna give him?

What's...?

At the rate

of progression now...

...without

immediate intervention,

we're looking

at one to three months.

However, with radiation

and drug therapy,

we can probably extend that

to a period

of six months to a year.

Six months

to a year, man.

Yeah, I'm not, I'm not

going through it.

Look, I-I understand...

I'm not going through six months

of f***ing radiation therapy

again, all right?

I'm not going through it.

You... need to give

this some time.

To think about the choice

you want to make

and think about what you want

to do with the time

you have left.

- I'm sorry.

No, it's... I got to rub

a therapy dog,

or else I'd be

a mess right now.

Now, I have to take Beans back.

I promised that I would

take him to

the children's ward with me.

Are you... are you kidding?

You just gave me

the worst news of my life.

So I-I'm gonna die

and you want the dog?

F*** you!

Ross kept

the therapy dog.

At the time I was working

as a wedding videographer.

Riding the bubble of

California's gay wedding boom.

But on the weekends,

Ross and my super-naturally-

photogenic fiancee, Lauren,

helped me indulge in my

artistic ambitions.

Shooting Tarantino-esque

vignettes full of violence

and subtle references to the

masterpieces of cinema.

Rosebud.

But when Ross got sick,

I realized I had

the chance to make something

personal.

Something meaningful and true.

This is what that turned into.

What'd they give you?

Oxies, perp, valium.

- Nice.

Yeah, there's a real

silver lining in all this.

You want some?

- No, I shouldn't.

Oh, let's...

...let's turn this around.

There we go.

Seth, how's it feel?

Do something interesting

because this gonna

be for cutaways.

Okay.

Is your...

...Is that your phone again?

- Yeah. Who is it?

- Uh...

I don't know, it's weird,

it's Lauren.

"Hey.

Dinner is almost ready."

We need to go food shopping.

I know.

- What are you filming?

The Ross Documentary.

We need to talk.

Okay.

Put the camera down.

So, what do you wanna do?

I have 618 dollars in checking.

F***. I don't-maybe I could

buy a, uh, skim board.

A new skim board.

- I have... I have 50k.

- Yeah, you...

I have 50 thousand dollars

in my savings account.

You have 50 thousand

for your wedding.

Yeah. So, like, I don't

care, not for my wedding.

So, we'll spend it on,

f***ing amazing adventure.

Lauren will cut off your balls

if you spend that

wedding money.

- She won't cut off my balls!

- Yes, she will!

No, she'll cut off maybe

one ball, one and half...

...He wants to go out

with a bang.

He wants to do a road trip

across the country with me.

You know, just...

...wild, crazy times.

- Okay.

- At the end.

Um, he doesn't have any money.

- Mm.

- We have 50 thousand dollars.

- That's for our wedding.

So when are you

gonna tell mom and dad?

I'm not gonna tell mom and dad.

Why not?

Because they would fly me home

and stare at me like I

was f***ing E.T. for 30 days.

I mean, would you wanna know

when your kid is gonna die?

Are we still

gonna have a wedding?

Yeah! Of course we're gonna

have a wedding, baby.

The point is, he wants

to do this road trip.

And, he wants me to film it.

- I'm going with you.

If you're gonna blow

all of our savings,

I'm going with you guys.

- Let's make a list.

- That's fine.

I...first thing I would do

is f*** a hooker.

- You would f*** a hooker?

- I would f*** a hooker.

For how much more

interesting that's gonna get?

You know, it's funny because

actually I think that if one

of those make-a-wish kids

actually said - when the

cameras weren't rolling - said

They would want

to f*** a hooker.

- They would want...

- ... They would not...

...Jenna Jamison

to whack them off...

They would not want to throw

footballs with Tim Tebow.

No.

Committed to capturing all of

Ross's experiences on camera,

and as a life-long consumer

of video pornography,

I yearn for the opportunity

to shoot what academics

in the field termed

hot, amateur action.

I'm just gonna wait

out here for her.

All right.

Hello. Hi, are you-you

must be Lamborghini.

Yeah! I'm Lamborghini.

- Hi.

- It's, um, Italian. So, cool.

Um, what's with

the video camera?

Nothing.

I'm sorry, I'm just...

Yeah, you didn't say anything

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