10.000 Km Page #4

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I don't want to give you up, Sergi.

But I don't want to ask for your

forgiveness this time.

If there's one thing I've learned since I left,

it is accepting my own yearnings,

as well as my contradictions.

But you deserve something better than that.

I'm dying to see you.

I'll call you when I get home.

Day 162

I've been thinking about us a lot lately.

You and I are so different

in many ways.

You know I don't believe in better halves

or nonsense like that.

I think it's f***ed up.

I think we want different things.

Not deep down...

Well, maybe in some things deep down...

but not in what's important, right?

I mean...

I mean, we're different,

but we complement one another.

And I don't know why,

but something joins me to you,

an invisible bond

and I take it everywhere,

and it gives meaning to what I do,

to things, to everything.

I know I hurt you.

Forgive me.

I know I said I wasn't going

to apologize because I don't feel guilty,

but I don't care.

If it makes you realise

how much I need you,

then, I'm sorry...

Some things will never change.

I'll always have a hard time telling you

what I'm feeling because...

I think you already know what I'm feeling.

That you always know

what I feel just by looking at me.

That's why I don't always tell you

that I love you...

...because I figure you already know.

But then I realize that it's not the same

to know something

as hearing someone tell you.

I need to tell you I love you more often.

I love you so much.

Life seems so gray when you're not

around to make me laugh.

Well, I haven't made you laugh much lately.

I understand. But I don't think

I have the strength.

You leave all of a sudden

and now you want to come back

as if nothing had happened.

No, not in the same way.

A different way.

We'll make it up.

That's a low blow.

Dance with me. Come on...

Come on...

Day 171

Let's see here.

Flights...

Barcelona,

Atlanta,

Reus,

Manchester,

Rome.

And Los Angeles.

100 euros. Not bad.

No wait, no. Atlanta, yes.

It's Barcelona, Atlanta, Los Angeles.

That makes...

880...

What day?

No. That's during student evaluations.

What day is your opening?

The 8th.

But don't bother.

I'll be slammed the days

leading up to it and running around.

Yeah, but I want to be there

while you're running around,

like a sparring partner.

L.A. is waiting for me!

The 3rd is okay, isn't it?

The 3rd and we said the return trip

could be at the beginning of September,

right?

Have they said anything

about renewing your contract in September?

Nothing yet, no.

You seem so calm.

F*** everything.

Holy sh*t. This is really pricey.

It's all so expensive in early September.

Well...I don't know. Get a later flight.

No, I'd lose out on work then.

So...don't buy a return flight.

Sure. We can go on the run.

I'm serious.

You're nuts.

No! Well, yeah, a little.

But I'd like you to be here.

Alex, what would I do there?

I don't know...We've got my apartment.

And we can both live off my grant.

And I can play house-husband?

Well, you could find something.

They teach music here, too.

Private lessons. I don't know.

And how would we pay for the apartment

in Barcelona?

We could sublet it.

Or leave it and get another.

There's no reason to live

in the same one forever, right?

So when we come back in December,

we're in Barcelona

with no apartment and no job.

On an adventure, right?

Alex! Come on, think straight.

We've been apart for months.

But now we've got a couple together

and then we only have three more to go.

Everything will be fine.

Everything will be fine, won't it?

Won't it?

Tell me.

What?

What you're not telling me.

You remember the visit from the gallerist

I mentioned?

Well, he liked my work. But apparently,

he wants something bigger,

next year and...

he wants to finance me to work on it full time.

So you can stay.

Listen, I want to be with you.

What does it matter where we are?

You don't want to be with me,

you want me to be with you.

We had plans. I liked my life.

I know but in a relationship,

plans are for two.

We can redo them together, can't we?

And the baby?

I don't know. Later.

When?

A year from now? Five? Ten? Never?

When we feel ready again.

I already am ready to have one.

And you were, too.

I've waited a year.

We've done what you wanted.

And I'm still ready.

Sergi, listen to me.

Come here. We'll stay here a while

and then we can go somewhere else.

Barcelona? Barcelona. London? London.

Whatever you want.

Do you realize you can't have me

waiting forever?

You can't have it all.

You choose.

What?

You're going to make me choose?

Yes.

Really?

After I stayed so long in Barcelona for you...

Now you can't come here?

At least try it?

I'm sorry.

Choose.

Day 201

I'm coming.

Hello.

What are you doing here?

Like this, no call,

no warning, all of a sudden...

Where are you going?

I don't know. A hotel or something.

No! What are you talking about?

This is the bathroom door?

I don't know.

I'd pictured it on the other side.

I don't know why,

I'd pictured it all the opposite.

It's really different. I don't know.

I pictured it bigger.

What's this?

It's new. Well...

second-hand.

I bought it at a flea market.

Do you like it?

Yeah.

Yeah, it's really nice.

It looks kind of like the one in Barcelona,

doesn't it?

The one at home.

The one at...my home.

You want something to drink?

A tea...

a beer...

Water?

I'm hungry.

I've got pasta.

I've got cream of vegetable soup

I made yesterday...

Sure, soup would be good.

I had to bring you something.

You'd toss a souvenir back in my face.

Are you done? With it all? The photographs...

Almost.

The photos are at the lab.

I just need to...organize them.

Do you want to go to sleep?

No.

Are you tired?

No, no. I slept on the plane.

Not much though.

It's really uncomfortable.

The jetlag will last a few days.

I figured.

It lasted four days for me.

It's better to stay awake

so your body gets used to it.

Thank you.

How long are you staying?

However long you want.

I mean, I've got a flight back in a month,

I can extend it by 15 days...

or I can just leave

if it sounds like a lot.

What do you want to do?

I like the idea of the road trip.

Want some?

Whiskey with vegetable soup.

Does it burn? Do you want an ice cube?

No, it's fine. It's really good.

It's really good.

Yeah?

Why did you come here?

To surf.

I don't know...I don't know.

I'm glad you're here.

You weren't expecting it.

You crossing the Atlantic

without knowing why...

I expected no less of you, Sergi.

What would have surprised me

would be you crossing over knowing why.

I hadn't expected that welcome either.

What did you expect?

That you'd jump desperately into my arms.

Like in the movies.

They kiss at the last second

and everything is fixed

like some miracle happened.

That would have been a good plan.

What about the next day?

I guess they're still unhappy.

They take it to court and get divorced.

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