10 Cent Pistol

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1

You know, they say there's

two ways to live this life.

The finesse way, or you

bogart your way through it.

Hello, sir.

Do you own this house?

You know, the elevator

just got stuck,

and it must've set off

the silent alarm.

I called someone and

they're on their way.

Are you the owner?

I am.

You own this house?

I own this house.

This is your place of residence?

Yes.

What's your name, sir?

Harris. Harris Englewood.

Mr. Englewood,

we need to check inside.

Well, you know, look, I probably

should've just called you guys,

you know, save you

the wasted trip.

We need to check inside.

Of course. Of course.

Come in. Come on in.

Your security system...

Hi.

Hello, Miss.

Hi.

Hi.

Miss, is there anyone else here?

Over there.

And over there.

No... over there.

People in different places.

What she means is, we have

some friends that are over.

You know what, why don't you

go over there with her,

and take us to the

rest of your friends.

Someone is stuck in the elevator

and our friends are

in the living room.

You doing all right

up there, Billy boy?

So stupid!

Yeah, sorry, you know,

I must be 60% Jager by now.

You definitely would've pegged

us for a DUI

on that wide turn on Alpost,

but you know, Billy,

he got sh*t-faced,

and he's being a sausage-finger,

just started punching

a bunch of buttons.

Crazy night, but you know

how it goes, right?

What time is it? Can I offer

you guys an espresso?

I have this really great

espresso machine...

These are my friends that

I was telling you about.

Hey guys.

Whoa, whoa!

Take a seat, please.

Take a seat.

Just relax.

You all right?

Have a seat, guys. Relax.

Okay, all right.

We got everybody here, except

the guy in the elevator.

Billy.

Yeah. Right.

Okay, this is what's happening.

Your silent alarm went off,

and right now I just

need two simple things.

(A) Lease, deed.

(B) Permission to be here.

Okay? Next, we're gonna

need some IDs.

Now, anything I should know

ahead of time about your IDs,

warrants, anything like that?

No? We're clean?

On the table, please.

Thank you.

You know, I think I left

my wallet in there.

Okay, Officer Hanna.

Yes, sir?

If you could escort this

gentleman to get his wallet,

and do an ID check on these.

Copy that.

And check the guy

in the elevator.

Maybe he can slip his ID through

the door or something like that.

Copy that, sir.

Thank you.

How you doing?

That's good.

Is there a problem?

I just can't remember where I put it.

Gonna just take a minute.

Tell you what, go ahead

and keep looking for that.

I'll get the other guy.

Okay.

You gentlemen had plans to go

out this morning, correct?

No, just... just get some...

just get some breakfast.

Bad signal out here.

Jesus Christ.

Hey, bad signal out here.

What are you doing upstairs?

You're supposed to be...

Forget it.

All right, forget it.

My radio's acting up.

Get back in there and

keep and eye on them.

Hey, I found my ID.

You can go back inside.

Um...

Radio this in.

Eglewood, Harris.

Address:
428 Camerford Street.

Warn him to calm the f*** down.

Calm down...

Just breathe.

Breathe with me.

You see this curly-haired

prick here?

He's just a pawn.

A means to an end.

Yeah.

In getting back what his old

man stole from me a year ago.

Out.

Not now, but right the f*** now.

Yeah. I know.

I know, I know, I know, honey!

I know!

But you repeating it doesn't

make it any clearer!

Just leave it at that.

Argh! Argh! Argh!

No, that was me

choking you on the phone.

This is what I looked like

a year ago.

I looked like a piece of human

Swiss cheese,

but I was alive, and I was

going home with a lot of money.

What the f***?!

Are those my sheets?

You said take them.

I had gloves on, and I...

Sheets, not the Egyptian cotton!

What did you say?

You had on what?

Gloves.

Gloves! I had on gloves.

How could I tell the difference?

With a catcher's mitt you could

tell the difference...

Guys.

between what's cotton and

what's Egyptian cotton.

Are you out of your

f***ing skull?!

Hey! Hey!

I got him!

Catcher's mitt.

You f***ing guys.

Hey, could be worse, kid.

For shits and giggles,

we could be putting a pair of

C-cups on your back.

That would be good

for him in prison.

Not for me, Mr. Zeer.

You two guys are my

get-out-of-jail-free card.

In this neighbourhood,

you can't do a job without

Punchy's blessing.

And of course, his 50%.

Are we almost done here,

Hawkeye?

Almost, yeah.

A few years ago,

I made a couple of moves

behind Punchy's back,

and he caught me.

This man is very lucky.

Russians can't shoot for sh*t.

That's why they never won a war.

This man is lucky. Four bullets

missed your vitals

and barely dug in,

considering the calibre.

Punchy said he'd let me

off the hook

if I agreed to do this Russian

job for him, so I did.

Okay.

That's it?

Okay.

Pick a scotch, any scotch.

I've been shot, I'm dizzy,

it's Miller time.

No, this is a test.

There's not necessarily

a yes or no answer.

It's more like, um,

who you are, answer.

It's a placement test.

The army does this to see who

jumps out of planes

and who peels potatoes.

So go ahead, pick a scotch.

Is your dyslexia supernatural?

There's only three.

Okay.

All right,

you're going to prison,

and you're looking at

three to five.

Which one was I

supposed to pick?

No, no, no, this is not me

f***ing with you.

This is me telling you

what my detective told me.

I mean, I just figured I'd offer

you some top shelf sh*t first,

but you sh*t on that idea.

What happened to "I'm gonna get

you out of this, don't worry."

I did.

I said I will take care of it.

I said that.

And that I wouldn't

do any f***ing time.

I said that.

So what the f***, Punch?

So, now, I'm telling you

that you will do time.

Sh*t happens, kid.

I'm not your son.

Don't call me kid.

Don't be a sensitive prick.

I'm gonna let you pat me on the

head and pinch my cheeks

while you f*** me?

You know who you remind me of?

You remind me of one of those

a**holes who complains

to the waiter after he's

already eaten the meal.

You know, I can't put the

bullets back into your back.

So let's get serious here.

You think that

I f***ed you, right?

I knock off your client,

which means you're getting paid

on both ends of this thing,

and I end up doing

three to five?

Yeah, that's my Webster's

definition of "you f***ed me."

That's right, I did.

I am.

No, wait, wait, wait, wait!

Hold on. Hear me out.

Before you limp on out of here

and get yourself pinched, okay?

Now... they got a quarter pint

of your blood...

at a crime scene

with five bodies.

So that's 25-to-life, easy.

Now, what I've got for you,

f***er that I am,

is that you take the pinch

for a 7-11 robbery that

just happened across town.

You get processed tomorrow,

pled down in three days,

before the DNA tells them

that you shot the Russkies.

Now, if that's getting f***ed,

it's after a Stones concert

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