10 Rules for Sleeping Around Page #2

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Then what's the problem?

Hey, is that you?

Oh my God.

Hi.

Matt!

How are you?

-So good to see you.

You still look amazing.

Nice to see some things don't change.

You still look like you're in shape.

You always did like breaking a sweat.

-Yeah, i remember our litte work out.

Let's do punch tomorrow.

i'm only in town for two days on business.

We got a lot of catching up to do.

9am. Lugo's.

Okay.

-See you tomorrow.

Bye.

Hello.. Who was that?

Matt.

Exboyfriend Matt?

Highschool pole vaulter Matt..

Damn, he can stick it to me anytime.

Ladies..

Perfect time.

A threeway?

Ben can't even get a boner

with a cat in the room.

Matt would never share me with anyone.

At least Benny's getting laid.

I wonder what the Yanks are doing tonight?

It's not slutty,

we're evolved.

It's so European.

Great, i'm gonna have some guy's balls

in my face.

I'm gonna kill Vince.

We're here at the palatial estate of media Tsar,

Jeffery Field.

His legendary summer, starstudded

la Dolce Vita Ball is the party of the season.

The place to be.

Security is tight.

But i had a chance to sit down with the..

Always controversial Field,

and talk to him about..

His legendary career as well as his notoriously

open lifestyle..

Which is being followed by

his new reality series..

"Fields of Dreams".

Mr Fields, the stories are legendary.

How you started in the mailroom,

work your way all the way up..

To owning your own multimillion dollar empire.

Bullshit, i f***ed my way to the top.

I f***ed whoever and whatever i had to.

Men, women, i f***ed a camel once.

I don't give a sh*t.

Put it right here in front of my cock,

and i'll f*** it if it means i'll get my way.

I'll f*** you and your cameraman right now,

if it'll make more people watch this sh*t.

Why don't we talk about your fabulous ball?

Your guest list is the creme de la creme..

Wallstreet, Hollywood celebrities, socialites,

industrial titans..

And my ever presence entourage,

my boys and girls..

The beautiful people..

-yes.

What's your secret?

-I have no secrets.

I'm a media whore, remember?

But i don't give anything away.

So, go to my newest global venture..

FieldEPublishing.com..

And for $9.95, you can download

all the juicy tidbits.

In my best selling autobiography..

I f***ed everyone..

And as in all Jeffery Field's gala..

It don't end until the sun shines.

I'm Michael Corbit.

Mr Owen, i was told you want to move the cigar box by 4 feet?

Yes, please thank you.

But.. It's a massive undertaking.

Massive undertaking? Do you feel that breeze?

-Yeah.

See the way the smoke from the cigar is going this way?

If you're smoking a cigar..

Here, and i'm here talking to Gwyneth Paltrow

and Miley Cyrus..

The cigar smoke comes to them,

now they smell like Fidel Castro.

You want that? No, me neither. So, 4 feet, thank you.

-Okay.

Excuse me, why is this purple?

Why is it purple?

I want it violet.

Perfection is our sanctity,

if you don't understand, i'll get someone else.

Thank you, you can take it away now.

Go.

Cherrie..

-Somebody really knows how to crack the whip.

Cherrie, you should see me in the bedroom..

That can be arranged.

If i have met you before that summer

in Vankemp, who knows..

My life might have taken a different turn.

I've got first dibs on Owen.

Besides, i don't think you're his type.

Behave, i'm not a piece of meat.

What is my nosey neighbor Barbara

doing here today?

Being nosey.

I think you're trying to steal my stylist.

Don't worry Barb, i don't think there's a thing he can do to you..

That your plastic surgeon hasn't done already.

I said it.

Stop flirting, if your boyfriend Hans see you touch me,

he's gonna have your nuts in a sling.

If this party isn't uber fabulous,

i'll have your nuts..

And they won't be in a sling.

No no, that sucked.

Let's shoot that again.

Give me the line again.

He'll have nuts..

-Screw it, we'll fix it on the post.

I heard that.

I brought you muffins.

What is IW2SUTYTC mean?

I want to screw you until your toes crawl.

-Oh God.

Cameron, that's disgusting, i need

a wetnap.

I need the keys to your house.

So get this..

Last night, i thought Ben was gonna propose.

Instead, the jerk asked me

for a threeway.

-No.

So i burned him and made up some

BS about wanting 2 guys.

Cameron, Cameron,

this is important to me.

Honey, i'm listening.

Okay okay.

All guys want it..

The only difference is

some have the guts to ask.

Vince asked?

No guts, i'm his Madonna,

the Virgin Mary.

Who's on her way to hook up with some guy

for the weekend.

Why aren't you hooking up

in some hotel in the city?

Because, i told you, Hugh is taking me

to Jeffery Field's La Dolce Vida Ball.

The house is under construction,

i haven't been down there for weeks. Owen is..

He's temperamental.

It's totally a mess.

Every room from South Hamptons to Montaugh is sold out.

Thank you, thank you.

I love you.

I'm sorry i have to run on you big time,

big kiss.

I'm not happy about this.

Oh sh*t, Cameron.

Cameron, your dress!

Next stop, Hamptons.

Your dress!

Miss Cooney, can i get your autograph please?

Of course, dear.

When is your next book coming out?

It's called

'The Magical Princess'

And it's coming out shortly.

Hi.

Hi.

Hello.

-Hey there.

Weird.

We are auditioning for the "Cooney Magical Princess" book cover, please. Thank you.

Getting a little ahead of ourselves?

Hold on.

Sh*t.

Oh sh*t?

-Oh sh*t?

Why did you say sh*t for?

I know what sh*t means, what does it mean?

Need to reschedule Friday lunch

to Monday drinks?

Off to Field's summer ball,

Emma Cooney Ta?

Sh*t!

I was at his party last year,

and it was ab fab.

Oh my God, you need to get out of here right now.

Sorry.

Really.

-I'm only here about the cover.

What?

Vince said not only do i look like a princess..

But i have that magical quality too.

We don't have much time for magic, but disappear.

Now, seriously.

Hey, ladies audition's over.

Go home.

DUde, this is like Spielberg's boy, okay?

We invited Cooney so we can scoop the deal.

-Do you think?

Yeah, i think.

So what are we gonna do?

Give me the keys to the Hampton's house.

-Why?

I'm gonna get down there to close Cooney

before Field can.

How are you gonna stroll in uninvited

to the party of the summer?

I'm gonna have to crash it.

-Oh my God.

Want me to tell Cameron you're going so she knows it's legit?

-No no.

She thinks i'm golfing whole weekend.

I don't want to confuse things, it's very important.

Excuse me, hey Vince.

God.

Vince!

Vince!

-Yes!

Stay focus.

-Yeah.

You hear me?

None of your bull.

Vince, we need this.

-I know, Cooney not the pooney.

Got it.

Really?

Oh no, Gaby.

Gaby, pick up?

Hi, it's Gabriella.

Please send message.

Gaby, call me as soon as you get this, okay?

My partner Vince is on his way

to the house right now..

So you gotta get to the hotel and get there quick.

I'll pay for it.

Fast, my sweety, very fast.

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