17 Again

O'Donnell, save something for the game.

I'm just warming up, coach.

Just talked to the scout again.

He's coming tonight.

You play half the game

I know you're capable of...

...he's prepared to offer you

a full scholarship.

Free ride to college

and the world's your oyster, kid.

Thanks, coach.

All right, jockstraps,

let's gather up. Picture time.

Try not to break the camera.

We gotta hang on. Ned's not here yet.

Who cares? He's the water boy.

That doesn't matter,

because he's part of the team.

Sorry I'm late! Sorry I'm late!

But what kind of Dungeon Master

would I be...

...if I left my party in the middle

of a battle with a hippogriff?

Check it out, it's Merlin the Girlin.

Um, Ned, Ned, look, I'm your best friend,

all right, and I'll always have your back.

But there's only so much I can do

when you show up in a dress.

O'Donnell. How about you and Boy George

join us for this picture?

- Yep. Yep.

- Just one sec.

Give the little guy the sign, please.

Here we are.

Nice, guys. Scoot up in back.

Come on, you gotta look pretty

for the ladies, right? Come on.

Yeah. Let's do it. Three, two, one.

Hey, Vanilla Ice.

We got a game here. Let's bring it in.

Man, I had to. I had to.

Oh, man, over there.

Who is that stone-cold fox?

Oh, it's my girlfriend.

Take no prisoners, bro.

Oh, hey, there's my girl.

- Hey.

I'm glad you're here, Scar. This whole

scout thing has me wicked nervous.

I just feel like my whole future's

riding on this game.

Yeah. Yeah, I know how you feel.

Yeah? Is everything...?

Everything's cool, right?

Oh, yeah. Everything's totally copacetic.

- Totally?

- Totally.

O'Donnell.

I gotta go. See you.

You okay?

Uh, uh...

- We can talk about it later.

- No. Just tell me.

It's your big night. Go enjoy it.

I can't enjoy it unless you tell me

what's going on.

Okay.

Um...

O'Donnell!

Wake up!

O'Donnell!

What are you doing?

Scar! Scar, hey.

Hey, Scarlet.

- Hey, hey. Hey, what are you doing?

- Mike, what are you doing?

Look, you and me,

we're in this together, okay?

- But the game. That's your future.

- No, the baby's my future.

- That's crazy.

- You're my future.

I can't let you throw this all away.

I won't let you.

Thank you for letting me stay here, Ned.

Oh, yeah. No problem.

- You good on the Cap'n?

- I'm good on the Captain.

Hey, Mike?

Mike, I can tell you're down,

but trust me on this.

You're looking at Scarlet

kicking you out of the house...

...and the kids wanting nothing to do

with you as a negative, when in fact...

- I guess it's mostly negative, isn't it?

- Well, yeah.

I had no upside for that.

Hey! You're getting that

big promotion today, right?

Yes. Yes, I am.

Today everything turns around for me.

Knock them dead.

I love you!

So anyway...

...the way corporate

wants us to spin it...

...is that maybe, in certain situations...

...a four-hour erection

isn't such a terrible thing.

Okay. Next up:

As most of you know, today I am proud to

be naming our new regional sales manager.

- Here we go.

- You know...

...I've been in the pharmaceutical game

for almost two years now...

...and people always ask me:

"What's it take to be an RSM?"

Leadership.

Courage.

Integrity.

But most importantly,

dedication to this company.

So congratulations. Mike.

Mike, if you could slide to your left so I

can congratulate our new RSM, Wendy!

Oh, my God. Oh, my God.

Go out there and push some pills,

my peeps.

Good job, baby!

Bye-bye, thanks.

See you at practice. Mmm.

Mike. What's crack-a-lacking, coz?

Well, I'll tell you what's crack-a-lacking.

Are you kidding me?

Wendy's been here two months.

I've been here 16 years.

I got the best numbers on the team.

You should think of it as a compliment.

Think of it as us saying,

"You're just too valuable to promote. "

- You little...

- Shh, shh, shh, hello?

Hey, buddy. No, no, no, I got time.

Ha. I know, right?

Look, listen, she was my doubles par...

So many girls and only one promotion,

but you guys are so supportive.

- But, Wendy, you did it.

- Thank you.

Wendy! Wendy! Wendy!

You guys! OMG.

Oh, and it gets better,

because we are going to T.G.I. Friday's!

- Shut up!

- Aah!

Mike O'Donnell.

Do I know you?

No. But I know you.

Oh, yeah?

High school star.

Never quite lived up to your potential.

Sooner or later you all come back

to the old school.

Stand there and look at the picture

of the glory days...

...wondering what might have been.

Seems to me you guys

are living in the past.

Well, of course I want to live in the past.

It was better there.

I'll bet you wish you had it

to do all over again.

Huh. You got that right.

You're sure about that?

Oh, yeah.

Dad.

- Hi, Mr. O'Donnell.

- Ladies.

What are you doing here?

Oh, I was just talking to...

...nobody.

Doesn't matter. I got off work early,

and I thought we could get ice cream.

Together?

- Why?

- Just go get your brother, okay?

Do you need anything else?

No, we're fine.

What's the matter?

This used to be your favorite place.

- We used to come here for your birthday.

- When I was, like, 8.

So, Al, basketball season's coming up.

- You ready?

- Yeah.

- Been working on that outside shot?

- Mm-hm.

- Passing?

- Good.

- Dribbling?

- Really good.

Good's not going to get you

a scholarship.

I meant, it's great.

It's great, Dad. It's great.

That's my boy. Remember,

it's not how big you are.

It's how big you play.

Right up here.

Uh, Maggie got into Georgetown.

Maggie, that's awesome.

Can you turn down the?

Okay, guys, see you soon.

Love you. Nice chatting with you.

What the hell are you doing?

Hey, that's my stuff.

Why are you destroying our yard?

It's not our yard. It's my yard, remember?

You took the road not taken.

And I get the yard.

I'm going to turn it into a showpiece

for my clients.

- Clients of what?

- Landscape design.

Landscape design?

I'm going to show people what I can do.

Yeah, well, the divorce isn't final for

another two weeks, so you have no right.

Really? So I've spent the last 18 years

of my life listening to you whine...

...about the things you could've done

without me, and I have no right?

- It's just I put a lot of work into this yard.

- Did you?

Really? Like the barbeque pit?

Yeah.

Yeah. The way I remember that is that

you spent about an hour working on it...

...and then you spent the next two days

complaining about...

...if you had gone to college,

you could've hired someone to do it.

- I don't think it was a whole two days.

- Or the hammock over here.

Yeah.

I think you quit that one because

you just decided not to try anymore.

Look, try to see things

from my point of view.

I am extremely disappointed with my life.

I never asked you to marry me.

Yeah, but I did.

Well...

...you don't have to do me

any more favors, then.

We're not going to hold each

other back anymore, okay?

- Scar...

- I'll see you at court, okay? At the trial.

Scarlet.

Naomi!

- You came.

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