17 Again Page #6

Oh. Hi. Wow, what are the odds?

What's it going to be now?

Did you buy me the Statue of Liberty?

I'm just going to ask you out, okay?

Like a grownup.

Just two friends having dinner.

Then if it turns into anything else,

we'll cross that bridge when we come to it.

No. Good night.

I'll buy every student a laptop.

You would deny the children of laptops?

- Miss Masterson, the children.

- Okay. Okay, fine, fine.

Fine. But this is not a date.

No, in no way a date.

And if I do this, you will stop

the inappropriate behavior and gifts.

- Yes.

- And we'll just drive to this restaurant.

We won't fly there in the space shuttle...

...or drive in some gaudy, tacky limo.

No, let's take your car. How about?

This way.

Ned to driver, abort.

Abort, abort. Move it out right now.

I totally missed it. She came right up to me,

I should've kissed her. And I froze.

Hey, don't worry.

I'll get you another chance.

How? How are you going to do that?

Victory party at my house!

Maggie.

Maggie? Hey, Maggie.

Go away.

Hey, what happened?

What do you want?

Rub it in my face? Say, "I told you so"?

No. No, I really don't.

Just tell me what happened.

Stan dumped me.

Stan dumped you?

Stan dumped you? What?

What happened? How did this...?

What did he do?

What did he do?

After the game...

We...

He took me behind the quad, and we...

I can't hear this. You didn't.

- No, Mags.

- No.

No.

That's why he dumped me.

Mags, hey.

Hey, hey, it's okay.

You know...

...when you're young, everything feels like

the end of the world.

It's not.

Right.

It's just the beginning.

You might have to meet

a few more jerks...

...but one day

you're going to meet a boy...

...who treats you the way

that you deserve to be treated:

Like the sun rises and sets with you.

You really think so?

I know so.

That's so sweet.

You're the sweetest.

- Thank you.

- It's okay.

- Ow. Oh.

- Thank you.

Anyways, I, uh, came over here...

I was looking for you.

I wanted to invite you to my party.

I don't know if you want to come.

- Yes. I would love to.

- Yeah.

- Great. That's exciting.

- Thank you!

- Aah! Yay!

- Yes. Yay.

- Thank you.

- That's very exciting.

I know, it's great. Ha, ha.

See you tonight.

"At Mark's house. "

Hey, that's cool. Let me see that.

That is nice, man.

Don't touch the toys, okay?

Yeah, I'll, uh, try not to light myself

on fire tonight.

- I'll keep a fire extinguisher handy.

Oh, good.

- Do you want to sit outside?

- Sure.

That's delightful.

What? What?

- Okay, I don't know how to act normal.

- Clearly.

It's the story of my life. I'm not smooth.

I'm just trying to impress you, okay?

I'm not the kind of guy who comes

to places like this. I'm a dork.

The kind of guy who spends 10 grand...

...on Gandalf the Grey's quarterstaff

from The Two Towers.

Yes, that does make you a dork.

Especially since Gandalf the Grey

was only in Fellowship.

He returns in Two Towers

as Gandalf the White.

I was upset. I'm sorry, okay?

I need you to show me that you love me.

And that way

we can get a place together.

Stop it. Look, whatever.

I'm with somebody else now.

- What?

- Party's over, Stan.

Just get out of here.

Oh, yeah?

Who's gonna make me leave?

You?

You know I would, but it smells

like you've been drinking...

...so I'm just gonna let the cops do it.

You can have the nun.

She doesn't put out, anyway.

On second thought...

Oh, I just had the craziest dream.

I was 17.

I was back in high school,

and it was terrible.

Scar.

Scar? I don't see a scar.

Look, I know why you didn't

want me to be with Stan.

It's because you wanted me.

You want to play games?

I can play games.

- No, no, no.

- I'm a hungry lioness...

...and you're a baby gazelle.

Maggie! No, no, no,

Maggie, stop this now.

If you only knew how highly inappropriate

and dysfunctional this is.

Stop it. Please stop.

Maggie, I'm not the person

that you think I am.

- Yes, you are.

- No, I'm not.

You're right, you're good.

You're not like the others.

I'm not like others.

I'm very different than the others.

So different, in fact, that you and I can

never, ever, ever, ever be together.

- Stop biting.

- Why?

Oh.

Oh, my God. What are you saying?

Are you confused?

I'm very confused, yes.

Extremely confused.

Oh, my God. I... I... I get it now.

And your hair is always perfectly coiffed,

and you have highlights.

- What are you talking about?

- I mean...

Dude, your jeans are really tight.

I'm not gay.

I'm in love, Maggie. I'm in love.

I've been in love.

I've been in love with the same girl

since I was 17, Maggie.

Does she go to our school? Do I know her?

Tell me her name. I want to know her name.

- No, Maggie. No.

- Okay.

You tell your girlfriend

she better keep a close eye on you.

Sweet baby Jesus.

Thanks.

We'll take the check.

I'm so dead.

Excuse me.

- Scarlet? Scarlet? Scarlet.

- Hi.

- What are you doing here?

- You seen Alex?

He's not picking up his phone.

Alex is fine. Alex is fine, believe me.

In fact, with the way things are going...

...by the end of the night

Alex could have a girlfriend.

- Alex has a girlfriend?

- Yeah, and she's great. She's cute.

- Come on, I'll show you.

- Where?

Walk up the stairs. Walk with me

for one sec, I'll show you.

So how ever did you get

the newest version of Halo?

It's not due out for another six months.

Well, let's just say I said some things

to the Make-A-Wish people...

...that I'm not totally proud of.

I'm going to kill him.

Everybody, out!

Oh, no, no.

No! No! No! Not Dr. Philsopholis.

This party is over!

Unless you want to spend the next

three months in detention, leave! Now!

Okay. We better go warn Mark.

You really care about him, don't you?

- Yeah.

- That's nice. That's really nice.

He really needs a male role model.

- He's a great kid.

- Mm-hm.

You know, they both are.

I think you're a great mother.

Thank you.

He's on the balcony. He's right there.

- Mom?

- This has been a really tough time...

...and you really feel like

part of the family.

You have no idea how amazing

it is to hear you say that.

Scarlet.

Scarlet! Scarlet, I'm not Mark, okay?

- I'm him, I'm me. Scarlet, I'm your husband.

- Will you stop it already?

If you'd listen to me, I am the father

of your children! Scar, let me...

Don't call me that. Don't call me that!

You are a weirdo little man-child!

Give me two seconds,

and I can explain this!

You are a pervert!

Get out, and get out, and get out.

You can leave.

Well, this isn't exactly the

inconspicuous relationship I wanted.

I'm sure now you can see why

I don't date my students' parents.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry. I had no idea that it was

going to get so out of control.

- Hm.

Really?

- Now I'm sorry.

- I guess I deserved that.

The second one was out of line.

It was uncalled for. Sorry.

Are you okay? I'm really sorry.

Three makes it even. Now we're even.

How are you? You okay?

Yeah.

And finished.

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