1941 Page #5

Now wait a minute, General!

I'm doin'

the best I can.

You gotta tell these guys

that I gotta have more privacy.

How in the hell do you expect a guy

to take a bowel movement...

with a bunch of buffalo rifles

a- pointin' at 'im?

I have enough problems

just pissin' in a public restroom.

- Hmph!

- Ahh!

- Huh?

All right, you!

- Get outta my way!

- God bless America!

- Hey!

Let go of my foot,

you son of a b*tch you!

Which way's the damn beach?

Oh, sh*t!

Detail, assume defense positions

on the double!

- All right, move!

Clear all civilians outta here!

No civilians tonight.

Get 'em back.

Get 'em out there.

Keep 'em back.

Ah. Dumbo.

Sure be good to get my mind

off things for a while.

Come on, I don't

want to miss Dumbo.

General Stilwell, sir,

an urgent message from Barstow!

- From Colonel Maddox, son?

- Sir, they're worried about an invasion.

Christ, I thought I told Maddox to hold

his position. Birkhead, see what he wants.

I'm sorry, sir. My orders

are to give these directly to you.

"Request relief column.

Invasion imminent.

Murderers parachuting in

from the skies."

Son, are these Jap murderers

or Kraut murderers?

The colonel

didn't specify, sir.

You seen

these murderers, son?

Um, no, sir. But Colonel Maddox has

seen lights in the hills after dark.

This leads the colonel to believe

they're being dropped in at night, sir.

You know, son...

Colonel Maddox is mad.

He is?

I'm getting that old

sinking feeling.

Excuse me, General, but

since it's a bombing range...

...don't you think Colonel Maddox

would have some planes there, sir?

Some airplanes.

Yeah, well, he might have

a few planes there. So what?

Well, I seem to recall

a huge stockpile of bombs, sir.

Stock- I'm missing the movie.

I'm missing the movie!

Considering Maddox's state of mind,

there's no telling what he might do.

I thought it might be wise

if I take a jaunt out there...

...and see if I can't appease

the girl- Uh, the colonel, sir.

With your permission,

of course.

Take my car, go out there

and keep that maniac at bay.

- And don't let him get his hands on an airplane.

- Yes, sir!

Sir, I'm going to take a rain check on

the movie. I've got a splitting headache.

I'm sorry about your headache.

Can I call a car for you?

- No, sir, I think I can persuade Capt.

Birkhead to give me- - Can I have my ticket?

Loomis, use your head. Everybody knows

you flunked out of flight school.

Trust me,

it'll never get that far.

- Whoa!

If we don't paint

the windows...

...these lights will shine

over the water 30, 40 miles.

You know, we could get new curtains.

I wouldn't mind that.

That nice soldier said we could get

blackout curtains at Sears Roebuck.

I wouldn't mind

redoing this whole room.

Since Mama died I wouldn't mind

redoing the whole house.

Knock down a few walls.

What do you think?

Somebody should do

something.

- Macey Douglas, will you please

take your gas mask off!

- You know that is no way

to eat your soup!

But Mom,

he likes it that way.

- The lima beans can get through.

- Ward.

- Mom? Dad? I'm leaving now.

- Green pig.

- Have a good time.

- Betty, just a minute, um-

- Look at you.

- Come in the living room. Let's-

- Let's have a little talk.

- Don't ever do this again.

We've never really had a-

a talk, have we, Betty?

A father-daughter

kind of a talk.

Betty...

...you know, I'm too old

to be in this war.

The boys, Macey, the others,

they're too young.

It's up to you.

I don't know what they

told you at the USO...

...but you're going to be meeting

a lot of strange... Men.

Men in uniform.

Boys a long way from home.

Lonely, desperate.

They really have one thing

on their minds.

Show 'em

a good time.

All right, you lovers!

You can quit gettin' all dolled up.

We're not goin' to any dance.

- What?

- We've just been posted on combat readiness.

- Combat readiness?

- We gotta play wet nurse to Lulabelle tonight.

Combat readiness?

Sarge, this is Hollywood!

Hollywood, is it, Foley? I guess they

didn't tell you Lana Turner's coming by...

...to keep us all

company tonight.

Where's Sitarski?

That goldbrick!

If he went AWOL,

I'll ream his ass!

Hey, Sitarski,

you meatball!

- This here right here.

I want that there bunk

right there by the door!

I don't want none of them

Asian enemies sneakin' up on me...

while I'm in here

asleep!

My name is

Ogden Johnson Jones.

I ain't gonna enjoy it here, but I got

orders that say I's supposed to be here.

And orders is orders. Is there

anybody in here that don't like it?

Gimme a jar of that

white stencil paint.

Now then, Ogden,

I know you're gonna like it here.

There's a few rules

you gotta abide by.

For example, down here, sir,

you'll notice...

...this white line, which is

the Mason-Dixon line.

That is the north; this is the south.

Don't ever cross over there.

Well, I'm from Tennessee and I'm

goin' home to visit my relatives.

That's always nice, but this

is Mississippi. Don't ever cross there.

- Yeah? Well, I wanna pick magnolia

flowers. - Oh-ho! Magnolias, you say.

Well, you wouldn't dare

cross the Mexican border, would you?

- Well, hola and a si, si, si to you.

- Ah, I knows!

Nyuk-nyuk-nyuk! White flag.

I surrender. Bye-bye.

- It never fails, you know. Those guys are idiots.

- Aaaah!

- Hey, what's happenin'?

- Wally!

- Wally!

- What?

- Hey.

- They won't let nobody in without no uniform.

- Seen Betty in there?

We only been here

ten minutes.

- Go get 'em, Wally!

Who the hell are you supposed to be,

the admiral of the Hollywood navy?

- I'm lookin' for somebody.

- How 'bout lookin' for a size 10 up your ass, huh?

- Say, Wally, it's time to throw some chingazos!

- Orale, Wally!

- Oh, no.

- Hi.

- Hi.

- You know what?

You got a lot of balls comin'

here tonight. You know why?

'Cause when I get through with you,

you ain't gonna have none left.

- Hit him! Hit him!

- Hit the dude, Wally.

Hey. Como esta?

Que pasa?

- Hey.

- Hey.

Listen,

I'll tell you what.

Since I'm obviously interrupting

something important...

...he's all yours.

- Poor bastard.

- I smell something burning.

- Yeah, it smells like garbage.

- Aaah! Aaah!

- Look, lady, I've had it up to here about my clothes!

- Aaaaah!

- Wally! You're on fire!

Ooh! Aah!

Ohh!

Thank you.

- Break it up.

Wally!

- I have to talk to you.

- Wally, do you smell garbage burning?

- Would you excuse us, sir?

- I wanna apologize for this afternoon.

- We have nothing to talk about now.

- Sir, we're late for the dance.

Don't go in there with him.

I know him. I know what he's like.

- Miss Douglas? Allow me.

Down by the Ohio...

I've got the cutest

sweetest oh-my-oh...

- He's just a country boy who works around farms

- Wally's in the street!

- But he has his

charms - What? - Hey!

- You wanna dance?

- No!

- You- You wanna dance?

- No!

Aah!

- Look, you, it's-

- Wally!

- Dennis, what the- - What are

you doin'? That guy's a killer!

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