200 Cigarettes Page #10

Oh, God.

Yes. Aah!

Oh, you love that.

[Both Gasp]

So?

What?

You know,

was it... you know?

Oh, yeah. It was great.

Ha ha. I know.

Oh, jeez.

Will you look at the time?

So do you want

to get together later?

Oh, yeah, sure,

if I have time.

If you have time?

Well, you know,

I just started working

at this gallery and it's kind of

all-consuming right now,

but, if I have time,

you know.

Well, uh,

to be perfectly honest

with you, Hillary,

no, I don't know.

The band? What band?

There were... There were

actual musicians here?

At my house?

Playing at my party?

Here? At... At my party?

Yeah, yeah.

You know,

I never heard of them,

but that don't mean much.

This guy with funny glasses,

Elvis something?

Elvis Costello?

Yeah, yeah. That's who it was.

Yeah, I heard he had

a record out.

Elvis Costello...

the love of my life...

was here...

at my house...

singing at my party?

Yeah, yeah.

He was going on and on

about the crab dip,

asking around for the recipe.

Nobody had it.

It was off the box.

I could've told him that.

Look,

just tell me one thing.

I'm not a vain person.

Was the sex any good at all?

No. I'm sorry. It was bad.

[Telephone Rings]

Bridget:
Hello.

Hey. So are you

totally hung over?

No.

I think I'm still drunk.

Oh, that's the worst.

So what'd you think

about that party

last night?

Mmm. Do you believe

that lawyer-bartender guy

showed up?

He wasn't so bad.

I mean, he was really nice

about us ditching him

and all that.

Are you crazy?

What a disappointing party.

Those guys were such total posers.

I'm so glad we decided

to go home alone.

Oh.

Want to go for breakfast?

Um...

No. Maybe lunch?

Oh.

I got to go.

? Give it to me, baby?

Hey.

Guess who reloaded, baby.

? Give it to me

Give it to me?

? Give it to me

Give it to me?

? Give me your stuff

that sweet...??

I mean,

at least they showed up,

right? I mean,

at least I don't have to spend

the rest of my life

thinking I have no friends

and everybody hates me.

Right?

That's something, right?

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Listen, do you got

any Alka-Seltzer?

I got to meet this guy Tony

for breakfast.

It's in the bathroom.

Thanks.

[Gasps]

Ohh.

Ohh.

Mmm.

[Groans]

Oh, God.

Where are my f***ing glasses?

Oh, no. Not again.

Elvis?

[Coughs]

[Gasps]

[Laughs]

All right.

So, uh, can I call you later?

You mean, like, later today?

Uh, yeah, unless...

unless you think that's too jerky.

Is that too jerky or something?

No. No,

I don't think it's too jerky.

You don't?

Uh-uh.

OK, good. You know, uh,

because,

you know, l... I really

like you a lot,

you know, as,

like, I like you a lot.

You do?

Yeah.

I mean, I don't think

that you need

a lot of time to know

something like that.

You know, you just...

You know, when you know it,

you know, when it happens,

you know it,

and I know it.

You know what I mean?

Yeah.

Yeah. So do I.

So...

we should go

to dinner tonight?

You want to?

OK.

You're going to think

this is crazy, but...

I think I'm falling

in love with you.

[Laughs]

l...

No, I don't think

you're crazy.

[Sniffs]

Hey, man, you smell dog sh*t?

Did you know that cigarettes

are a shield against

meaningful interaction

with other people?

It's true. I read it.

People protect themselves

emotionally

by relating to their cigarettes

instead of each other.

That's what struck me last night

watching all those people

standing around

with their cigarettes.

Why is everyone so afraid?

Why are people so scared

of each other?

Like us?

No. We've never been anything

but totally honest

with each other.

Them.

? More than this?

? You know there's nothing?

? More than this??

Anyway, I think it's time

to quit smoking.

Mm-hmmm.

? More than this?

Lucy:

So then you'll get grumpy

and cranky and fat,

and you'll whine,

and you'll b*tch,

and you'll lose

all your inspiration,

and you're gonna blame me.

Cabbie:

Although I went

to a crazy

New Year's Eve party,

after I put the cab up, I mean.

I got pictures. Look here.

Now these two girls

in this picture,

oh, I couldn't understand

a damn thing they said,

a-and where in the hell

is Ronkokomano?

Now this guy here,

he's a famous necrophiliac

with a album.

He kept dragging a dead girl

around the party.

It was real weird.

Look at his eyes, man.

He crazy.

Look at her.

Dead, dead, dead.

This dude right here I call,

vagina puppet man,

'cause he kept

making vagina puppets

with his hands,

but he's a real talented fella.

I mean, I see big things

in his future,

'cause there's a market

for vaginas.

Oh, this girl right here

keeps feeding people

little weenies,

but I think she want

a weenie herself,

if you know what I'm saying.

Uh, now this little girl here,

I picked her up

earlier that night, too.

It's a small city, ain't it?

That must be the guy

she was telling me

she was so nervous

about being with.

Just when he started

making a little headway,

wouldn't you know,

one of the ugliest b*tches

I've ever seen

in my life rolled up,

and I'm not one

to call women ugly,

but I think this woman was,

because she had a penis.

Oh, there's Dutch boy

with, uh, the girl

from, Rankakomano.

I ain't going

to call her young,

but I'm going to tell you this,

I bet you she write

a couple love letters

in crayons here and there.

There I go. There I go.

I'm having fun right here.

Almost having fun,

and here go my man right here.

Remember him?

This guy would not

listen to me, man.

He got 2 girls,

don't know what to do

with either of them.

You see, big girl right here

wasn't having that.

She got into it with little girl

right there,

and next thing I know,

he's rolling with big girl,

but dig this, right?

Little girl scored

with the necrophiliac.

Thank God he brought

a live one home,

if you know what I'm saying.

Now this guy is hungry

for love or something,

and then who walks over

but my little girl

pretty in pink,

and it looks like

he found what he wanted,

that is until her nose

started bleeding.

Then they was hugging,

then they was smiling,

then they was kissing.

Now I think I'm 4 more pages

away from ecstasy,

if you know what I'm saying.

Oh, the guy in the middle,

that's the guy from Happy Days.

I met him, got his autograph

and everything.

Uh, Potsy.

The people was dancing,

they was laughing,

if that party got any crazier,

I bet you Rick James

would've walked

right through the door.

Look at this party.

These pictures here,

I'm keeping forever.

They make me happy,

'cause they remind me,

if you relax,

you can have a good time, baby,

even if you smell like dog sh*t.

See, in the end,

everybody got what they

was looking for,

a little love,

and I got what

I was looking for,

a little booty.

You can see it in my eyes.

That's my booty look

right there.

? Wall to wall?

? People hypnotized?

? And they're stepping?

? Lightly?

? Hang each night?

? In rapture??

[Music Changes]

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