200 Cigarettes Page #9

Do you understand me?

It's my only hope,

thanks to you.

Excuse me?

I know it's not much,

but at least Eric

will be there.

Eric?

Oh, you want Eric?

Fine. I'll take

the bartender/lawyer/real estate guy.

Taxi.

Lady.

He's all yours.

Get away from that cab.

We have an emergency.

Oh, you know, baby,

you better tell me that

when we get moving.

I'm a little intoxicated.

It's New Year's Eve. Ha ha.

I can't believe

that you are so hard up

that you'd go for that lawyer.

I suppose now you want him

for yourself, huh?

You are so paranoid.

Or maybe you want

Eric and the lawyer.

Is that it?

Hey, hey.

Please... Please don't touch me.

Too much hostility.

Can you just get the car to move?

You know, baby,

in life, sometimes

you got to stay still

to move forward.

What?

Would you like a cigarette?

Yeah.

Yeah, come on.

Here you go.

You know, this song

always reminds me

of me and my buddy Twain.

Twain was my best friend

a few years back,

till we fell in love

with the same girl.

Mmm. Pretty girl. Foxy.

Anyway, Twain

was the smooth one.

You know, I was a shy

little knuckle-head kid.

I had no Afro back then,

so, you know, I wasn't...

wasn't smooth.

Anyway, one night

I went to a restaurant,

bump into Twain

and the girl of my dreams

eating dinner.

I sat in the back

of the restaurant

and watched them eat dinner

all goddamn night.

First they had

a little finger food,

wine, cheese, the whole thing,

and the whole time

I'm sitting over there,

I said,

I wish that that was me.

Next thing I know,

Twain bite into a string bean

and choked to death

right in the middle

of the goddamn restaurant.

Mmm. Hmm.

I always thought,

it could've been me.

It should've been me.

This song always make me

think about that.

Mmm.

Silky ho.

I'll never forget her.

So what are you saying,

love kills?

No.

He's saying we shouldn't fight

about these guys,

and personally,

I think he's right.

Oh, I know I'm right, baby.

What if, for the sake

of our friendship,

we just decided

to leave the party

alone tonight?

[Laughs]

You...

you mean no guys at all?

That sounds much better,

doesn't it?

Uh-huh.

You mean, we go home alone,

no guys at all,

even if it means we get jinxed

for the whole year?

That's the kind of sacrifice

I'm willing to make

for our friendship.

[Laughs]

Well,

OK.

OK.

OK.

What's happening

in this cab right now

is beautiful.

It's beautiful.

Is there any way that you can

get this car to just move?

Is there any way

you can get out the car

and, uh,

move that truck for me?

Lucy:

Kevin, don't. Don't.

Just stop it.

Stop it.

What? What? What?

What... What did I do?

What's wrong?

I don't know.

I just...

I opened my eyes, and l...

and I saw your face,

and I realized

I can't do this.

What?

You just saw my face

and realized you can't

have sex with me?

I can't go on forever

having sex with people

who don't care about me.

And you just r...

You just realized this now?

Yeah,

I did.

So all the years of empty,

meaningless sex

with countless strangers

and bartenders,

that's great, that's fine,

but here,

now,

with me,

and bam,

you have an epiphany

and you realize

you can't do it anymore?

Don't yell at me, Kevin.

You're f***ed up,

you know that?

I'm f***ed up? I mean,

what are you? I mean,

w-what do you call somebody

who throws himself

into one doomed relationship

after the next

when he could be with...

What? What?

When I could be with what?

Thank you.

See you.

[Sirens]

I can't go on.

This guy weighs a f***ing ton.

I knew we should've

left him behind.

Hold on.

We're almost there.

Are you kidding?

We're not almost there.

[Gunshots]

Did you guys hear those gunshots?

Just get him into a cab.

We can't just put him in a cab.

He ain't conscious.

Oh, aren't we concerned?

Look, he'll be all right, OK?

W-We'll pay the driver

and give him the address.

Does he got any money on him?

Yeah. In his wallet.

I'm not finding a wallet here.

Wait a minute.

Here it is.

Hey, there's no money in here.

Oh, well, that's just great.

I told you we should've

left him behind.

God, Stephie, please.

I can't take it anymore.

All you do is complain.

I mean, Stephie,

have you ever thought to look

on the bright side

of things, huh?

Did you ever think

that maybe you could

have a good time

if you just shut your freakin' mouth

for five seconds?

I mean, nothing's

good enough for you.

God.

Oh, my God.

What?

This is the address

I wrote down

for my cousin's party.

You're shitting me.

No way. This is totally

the right address.

Yes. We're saved.

Thank you, God.

We're going to the party.

Come on.

Come on.

Dave, I'll catch up

with you later.

Stephie:
Come on,

let's go to the party.

[Moans]

Elvis Costello:

? As I walk through?

? This wicked world?

? Searching for light?

? In the darkness of insanity?

? I ask myself?

? Is all hope lost?

? Is there only?

? Pain and hatred?

? And misery?

? And each time I feel

like this inside?

? There's one thing

I want to know?

? What's so funny about?

? Peace, love

and understanding?

? Oh?

? What's so funny about?

? Peace, love

and understanding?

Hush your mouth, baby.

? And as I walk on?

? Through troubled times?

? My spirit gets so downhearted?

? Sometimes?

? So where are the strong?

? Who are the trusted?

? And where is that harmony?

? Sweet harmony?

? 'Cause each time?

? I feel it slipping away?

? It just makes me want to cry?

? What's so funny...??

Hi. This must be it, huh?

Happy New Year.

All:
Five... four...

three... two... one.

Happy New Year!

[Groans] Ohh.

Oh, God.

Ow. Ow.

[Gasps] Jesus.

Hi. Hi, puppy.

Good dog.

Good dog.

Hey.

Wake up.

Huh?

Who the f*** are you?

I live here.

Who the f*** are you?

Oh, you're Monica.

Hi. I'm Stephie.

I'm a friend

of your cousin Val's.

My cousin Val?

From Ronkonkoma?

Yeah, yeah. She brought me

here last night.

Oh, God. I'm so hung over.

I can't believe it.

M-My cousin Val

from Ronkonkoma

was here last night?

Uh, yeah.

Her and about

a million other people.

Well, that's great.

That's just great.

Everybody came

and I missed it.

[Gasps]

This is so cool.

Oh, and I called my parents,

and they want you to come over

for dinner tonight.

What?

No, it's cool,

'cause I told them

I slept on the sofa,

so you won't get

in trouble for anything.

Trouble?

How old are you exactly?

You know, 'cause you looked

a lot older last night.

Oh, will you relax?

I'm not telling no one.

It'll be our little secret,

like Romeo and Juliet.

Oh, my God.

You know, there's a reason

why I don't mind

lying to my parents.

You want to know what it is?

I bet I know.

I bet you don't.

I love you.

Yeah.

Ohh.

Oh, and it's really cool, too,

because we can spend

every weekend together,

and then in June,

you can come to my prom.

Sh*t, my friends

are going to be so jealous.

the coolest year ever.

[Hillary Moans]

Eric:
Oh, oh, oh, oh.

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