20 Year Old Virgins Page #6

Yeah?

Yeah.

Really?

Yeah.

Sweet.

Oh, man.

Hey, man, I'm gonna check

my schedule for work.

I never go to work.

I mean, I don't have a phone so

they can't call me in.

That's true, man, when was the

last time you checked in?

Think I'm fired?

Maybe.

- Probably.

- Probably?

It's been like,

two weeks or something.

Check it out.

Dude, Mike said to act cool.

Hey.

- Hi.

- Hi.

Um, I was just wondering,

how did you guys get those?

Yeah.

Uh, my brother got 'em...

I mean.

He got 'em for us after

we were doing 380s

and 540s, 510s.

Wow, that must have hurt.

Oh, um, no, no,

it was, it was nothing.

We've had worse.

We've had way worse.

Really?

That's so badass.

Um, I'm Cindy and this is Sandy.

Oh, so Cindy and Sandy, awesome.

Cool, well, this is Gene

and I'm Eugene.

Wow, they're like, the same.

Yeah, your names

are like, the same thing.

You're like the same person.

So cute.

You guys wanna sit down?

Yeah.

Sit, yeah, sit down, sit down.

Dude, you're being aggressive.

So um, where do you guys

usually skate?

You know, malls,

the hall, rails.

Jails, sails, just

the local places, yeah.

The usual.

Yeah.

That's cool.

Why do you, why do you have

TGIF on your shoes?

TGIF?

Oh, TGIF.

Toes Go In First.

Yeah, duh.

Oh, wow.

Dude.

Man, I think like, all the shoes

should have that printed

on them,

like, right there.

(whispering)

Do you guys go to college?

Well, uh, I live

right next to a college,

so it's like, I have

to walk by it every day.

Yeah, so technically

we passed college.

(whispering)

Do you, uh, um,

do you guys wanna feel

warm and, and soft?

Yeah, I'm getting a little cold.

Yeah, we could go

sit down on something.

Our couches in our living room.

Yeah, you guys wanna

come to our crib, our pad?

You guys live nearby?

Yeah, like, totally.

Okay, cool, let's do that.

Yeah?

Okay.

Let's go.

So you gonna tell me

who you were with?

Jared.

J-, Jared?

God!

I can't f***ing believe

you went to Jared!

Why not like, Chris or Steve?

Do you even know

what he's known for?

I didn't know he had a nine

and a half inch cock.

And a half?

A half?

Yeah, but he was only one guy.

You were with two sluts

which I think

should even things out.

Was he better than me?

Not even close.

You're so good!

Once you go black, baby...

I'm never going back!

You're so much better!

You're not just saying that?

No.

No?

No.

So, are you gonna come home?

Yeah, I'll think about it.

Okay.

Oh, hang on,

I always wanted to do this.

Yeah, yeah.

No man, really?

All right.

Hey!

Hey, what's up, guys?

This is Mike.

Oh, hello, ladies, how are you?

- Hey.

- Hi.

How you doing?

My brother.

What, what are you doing, bro?

Oh, me and Amy,

we actually made up.

So I'm packing up

and I'm outta here, man,

I'm out of your guys'

hair for now.

Yeah, that's great, man,

I'm happy for you guys.

You get to go back

in your room, then.

Yeah, yeah.

Sorry about the stains.

I see our talk helped.

Yeah, yeah, I mean, seriously.

Hey, man, thanks for putting

me up here, so...

No, no, thank you, bro.

I do appreciate it.

I appreciate it, big time.

Any, any time

you need to come by.

Cool.

All right, up top.

Come on.

- Bro, really?

- Yeah.

Dude, you don't know how long

I've been waiting for this.

Come here.

High five, bro!

Ha!

See you later.

Bye, fruit.

Yeah, all good, bro.

How we do it in the family, right?

Is this Brandon?

Okay.

Come on in, ladies.

Just feel at home, ladies.

Um, do you guys want

something to drink?

Water's fine.

Yeah.

Get the cups.

I got it.

All that tomato training

for this, this night,

today is the day.

Here's your water, ladies.

Oh, what do you...

So what do you ladies

like to do for fun?

We usually spend our

time on Facebook, MySpace,

and games.

Really?

Well, when we're not hanging

out at the skate park.

Yeah, yeah.

Um, do you guys like spicy foods?

Not really.

I love spicy food.

Really?

Yeah.

You guys have Halo Rage.

Yeah.

I mean, do you wanna play?

Totally, yeah.

Yeah, yeah.

Whoa.

What's going on?

What?

Your cast just like...

I... I'm healed.

It just popped off.

Yeah, yeah.

Real casts don't just pop off.

Yeah, right.

He's healed it just, you know,

when it heals it expires.

I don't think so.

My little brother

had one on his arm

and we had to go to the doctor's

to cut it off.

His arm?

No, his cast.

I don't think so.

You're not real skaters.

You guys are just posers.

I'll just put this back

on and we're skaters.

You're right.

We-, we're not really skaters.

Yeah, we just put on

these stupid outfits

just so we could meet a

couple nice girls like you.

Fakers.

Yeah, you guys are just fakers.

No, no, dude, no,

it's Mike's fault.

He's the one who

suggested these things.

And if we weren't wearing them it

would never have happened.

It isn't my brother's fault.

It was my fault, dude.

I took it off, dude!

Just, no, it's not your fault.

It's not your fault.

Dude, if, if I hadn't taken it off

we still would have been

here with the girls,

but you know I like

playing Halo naked,

I can't play with anything on.

God, we were this close.

Dude, we were this close.

Psych!

What?

Just kidding.

We're not really skater chicks.

What?

Yeah, we just hang out

at skate parks

so we can meet nice guys.

Like you guys.

Yeah.

(indistinct conversation)

Now I think we should

probably toast.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Okay.

I'll get my bottle,

let me get my bottle.

Um, we should toast

for a long, long

hard, uh... friendship.

Cheers.

Yeah.

Let's just sit down.

Let me just clean this.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Do, um,

do you wanna go to my room?

I'd rather stay out here

with you.

Okay.

What if, what if I go with you?

Okay.

Yeah?

Sure.

Okay, it's over there.

Yeah, I mean, come on up,

come on up, yeah.

Um, uh... I'm kind of hungry.

I totally feel like

apple pie right now.

Yeah?

Yeah, totally.

Yeah?

Yeah, oh, I'm starving.

Come here, then.

Totally.

Why do all your tomatoe

shave holes in them?

Hey, wanna know why a man is

better than a Popsicle?

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