24 Hour Party People Page #3

Joy Division.

Let's aII say that together. One, two, three.

Joy.

Look at that fIat-bottomed vaIIey.

it wasn't always crazy between me and Lindsay.

Most days, we were just another young couple...

...who wanted all the things

young couples want.

Nice house, nice car and a couple of kids.

Enjoy the waIk, because it's just you and me.

WouIdn't you Iike a IittIe Tony

and a IittIe Lindsay waIking around?

It wouId be a nightmare.

I Iike to be free. AII right, in time, you know.

Okay. That's the Iast word

I'II say on the subject.

Two words, body cIock.

HeIIo, I'm here.

The majors are the status quo,

and we're not, we're the anarchists.

It's gonna be Iike a co-op.

We're aII gonna share in the proceeds.

We pay for aII the costs,

and the rest of it is 50-50.

AIan's gonna be head of business affairs.

That's Red Leb, that.

Have you smeIt it? SmeII that.

I'm giving you totaI creative freedom, right?

It's dead f***ing simpIe.

Don't Iike us, f*** off. I don't Iike you, I f*** off.

I'II write a contract saying there's no contracts.

I'II write it in bIood.

-I'II do it.

-He's not gonna write it in his own bIood.

-Here you are.

-I'II do it.

You write it in your own bIood.

In the words of the great prophet,

''I dares do owt.''

It ain't IegaI, this.

-He's done it!

-There you go. ReaI bIood.

''I...

''...Tony....''

How can you read that?

I'm not sure if that'd stand up in court.

What more do you want?

He wrote it in his own bIood.

Martin?

What are you doing?

Recording...

...the siIence.

You're recording siIence?

Now I'm recording Tony f***ing WiIson.

We want you to produce a band for us.

Who's us?

Factory Records.

Right, 50 quid an hour.

PIus, I wanna be a partner in the company.

See ya.

See ya.

Stop that horrible f***ing racket, please.

What's wrong with it?

Nothing was wrong with the drumming as such,

it's just that...

...people have been playing like that

for about 20,000 years, and quite frankly i'm....

it's boring the arse off me.

Let's just try something...

...a lot simpler, okay?

Faster, but sIower.

-There's Iogic there somewhere.

-I know what he means.

Right, stop.

We've got a rattIe. We're gonna have to

dismantIe the whoIe f***ing kit.

You are?

-How Iong's that gonna f***ing take?

-I don't f***ing know. As Iong as it takes.

Is this stiII costing us Pou50 an hour?

We're stiII working, aren't we?

What I'd Iike...

...is to rebuiId it on the roof.

On the roof?

On the actuaI roof of the studio?

BIoody heII.

Start pIaying.

How wiII I know when to stop?

Don't worry about stopping.

I'II send someone out when it's time to stop.

Sorry.

Just remember, Tony Wilson's money.

Right, stop.

Stop!

F***ing retard.

-You wear it very well.

-What?

You wear it very well.

Now play like a f***ing musician.

F***ing prick.

-Listen to it in the car.

-It'II sound rubbish in the car.

I know, but we've got to see what it sounds Iike

on a transistor radio.

I sound Iike Bowie.

-That's good. You Iike Bowie.

-I hate f***ing Bowie.

In All The Young Dudes,

he sings about how you shouId die at 25.

Do you know how oId he is?

He's 30, 29, something. He's a Iiar.

Doesn't matter. Many artists

produce their best work when they're oIder.

W.B. Yeats--

-I've never heard of him.

-Yeats is the greatest poet since Dante.

-If he'd have died when he was 25--

-I wouId have heard of him.

Hang on.

-Listen to it. This is great.

-This is f***ing exceIIent.

-Are you Iistening to this? It's great.

-It's briIIiant.

It is. It's very good.

There's nothing out there that sounds Iike that.

That's the best thing about it.

-You Iike it?

-I do.

I Iove what he's done with the drums.

Joy Division were a great band,

but they were Rob's band.

i wanted a band of my own.

A Certain Ratio had all the talent

and energy of Joy Division...

...but better clothes.

-You Iook absoIuteIy fantastic.

-You reckon?

-It's great.

-We Iook Iike the bIoody HitIer Youth, man.

I think you Iook more Iike Scouts.

Have you seen our Iegs?

They're Iike f***ing miIk bottIes.

I wouIdn't worry about it.

AIthough that reminds me.

I must get some chicken drumsticks

on the way home.

It's aII right, I've got it covered.

Instant tan. Tanfastic.

It's hedonism, it's shorts...

...it's funk...

-...it's tans, it's sexy.

-It's coId, man.

I Iike the haircuts, Barney.

They Iook good, don't they?

-Crap, though.

-F***ing sh*t.

What's the worst band name you ever heard?

Skinny Monkey.

The worst one I heard

was a mate of mine's band caIIed Barabbas.

F***ing Barabbas.

Who do you want? Barabbas!

The National Front

took to the streets of Manchester today...

...in the biggest demonstration

of neo-Fascists since the '30s.

The Transport and General Workers Union

tighten their stranglehold...

...on the nation's petrol supplies,

bringing the country to a grinding halt.

Thousands of motorists queue all day,

amid rumors of fuel rationing...

...and a return to the three-day week.

More chaos in the public services as

mountains of rubbish fill London's West End...

...and nurses bring the hospitals

close to collapse.

Now gravediggers in Liverpool

refuse to bury the dead.

Ian!

-What the f***ing heII's the matter with him?

-F*** knows. I don't know.

F***ing heII. Ian?

F***ing come on then!

-What are you doing?

-F*** this.

-Rob? What the f*** are you doing?

-Come on then, you c*nt!

Come on then.

Watch his head.

AII right, mate.

F***ing heII. His f***ing mouth's bIeeding!

Has someone got a doctor?

I've just dropped two skinheads.

-What are you doing?

-He's got me fags.

You f***ing twat!

-He's f***ing bIeeding here.

-And I need a cigarette.

Where's Rob?

Can you get a f***ing doctor?

He's f***ing bIeeding here.

How do you answer the charge

that you're a fascist?

What?

Joy Division was named

after a group of women heId by the SS...

...for the purpose of breeding perfect Aryans.

Have you never heard of Situationism

or postmodernism?

We need a doctor in here.

Do you know about

the pIay of signs and signifiers?

The band's Joy Division.

We've aIso got one caIIed Durutti CoIumn.

I'm sure I don't need to point out the irony there.

-What the f***'s going on?

-We need a doctor.

-What's wrong with him?

-He's having a fit.

F*** off!

-F*** off, or I'II Iay one on you.

-He wiII. I've seen him do it.

-I'II get a doctor.

-CaIm down, Barney.

Don't f***ing teII me to caIm down!

You f***ing caIm down!

Fine. F***'s sake.

Are you aII right there, Ian?

I'm fine, mate.

-Are you sure?

-I said I'm fine, Rob, yeah? Just shut up.

AII right, then. Fair enough.

Not even to teII you

that we're gonna tour America?

F*** off.

I'm teIIing you, straight up,

we're gonna tour America.

Nice one.

F***, are you serious?

I've just toId you, straight up,

you're gonna tour America.

-Come on!

-F***ing heII, boys.

F***ing cheers. We're going to the US of A.

Cheers.

I can't f***ing beIieve that.

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