27 Dresses Page #4

- Yeah.

And that's just his resume.

He is an unbelievable boss.

Everybody loves him. Everybody.

And he loves his dog, Gatsby,

more than anyone.

He doesn't eat red meat,

which is kinda cool.

And he would rather spend

all his time outside than anywhere else.

My God.

He sounds amazing.

Yeah. Yeah, but he has flaws.

He does.

He is flawed.

- What do you mean?

- Well, he hates cashews...

which is weird.

And sometimes he doesn't

wear socks with sneakers.

I just think that's gross.

Jane.Jane, those aren't

exactly deal-breakers.

Deal. Wh-What deal?

I mean, nothing happened

between the two of you tonight, did it?

- Did it?

- Well.

Oh. I got ya. Nice.

Mmm. Fun.

Sounds fun.

- Dad?

- Oh, hey, sweetie.

How are you? Oh,

you didn't have to--

Tessie! Oh! Oh!

- Hi.

- Look at you.

Oh, Dad. This place

looks exactly the same.

Now that's not fair.

I got a brand-new awning. I just stripped

and re-varnished all the woodwork. Look.

- New cash register. Digital.

- Oh.

Wow, Dad. I'm sorry.

I don't know how I missed all these...

remarkable improvements.

Give me that. Let's go upstairs.

There we go.

Dad, aren't we a little

old for these?

- No.

- Good, 'cause I love 'em!

So, Tess, how long you here for?

One to two weeks, right?

That's what you said.

Um, actually, it just depends

on how a few things pan out.

What things?

What-What-What few things? What's--

- Hello? Hi!

- Let me guess.

Some new guy is chasing

after her?

I wouldn't call it

"chasing."

- Oh, George. I would love to.

-Jane?

- What?

- You okay?

Yeah! Oh, yeah. Great.

Fine. Everything's fine.

Of course.

I gotta stop.

She's gonna call me.

I guarantee it.

- I got a way of making

the ladies reach out to me.

- Oh, yeah. How?

Oh, God.

Whoo! Ah. "Yello."

You ripped a week out of my planner.

Are you insane?

It's a little experiment. See how you do

without every second of your life mapped out.

By the way,

your life is insane.

What do you do besides

work and help people get married?

You know what? I don't see how

that's any of your business.

How do you afford

these weddings?

I mean, the dresses, the airfares,

the wine of the month clubs?

Hey, people love that gift.

And I'm a frequent member.

So sometimes they throw in

a free gewurztraminer.

Wow. That is terribly sad.

I'm sorry about that.

Ah. Well, look. I wanna

make it up to you.

Okay? How about a new date book

or maybe just a date?

Uh, yeah. Sure.

Let me just pencil you in.

Except, hey! You already did.

Every Saturday for the rest of the year.

You know what? Can you please, please

find someone else to be creepy with?

Nope. Tell you what. Anytime

you wanna hang out with somebody...

who doesn't need you to take them

to a fitting or a cake-tasting...

or a coed mojito and burrito rehearsal dinner,

just give me a call.

Yeah. Okay.

Oh, God.

- Hey!

- Hey!

- Are we getting too old for hugs?

- No.

Thank you.

There he is.

- Pedro. How's it goin'?

- Hey, what's up?

- So Pedro is my, uh--

- I'm his little brother.

From the Big Brother

Program at the Y.

- Oh.

- Pedro, Tess happens to be Jane's sister.

- Oh.

- Hola, Pedro.

Yeah. Um, look,Jane,

Tess and I...

are gonna take Pedro to his baseball game

if you wanna join us.

I can't. I've got so much work to do.

I should stay here.

Are you kidding me,Jane?

Look, your boss is a jerk anyhow.

- Let's go. I don't wanna have to fire you.

- Okay.

All right?

All right. Let's go.

- Hey. How you doin'?

- All right.

Let me get three Diet Pepsis,

three fries and--

- Chili dog. You want a chili dog?

- Uh, no.

- Not unless it's a tofu dog with meatless chili.

- I'm sorry. What?

- You're a vegetarian?

- Uh-huh. It's recent.

- Oh, is it?

- You know, 'cause I'm a vegetarian too.

- Oh.

- I used to be a vegan,

but it was too much of a hassle.

Oh, God. I know. I mean, even being

a vegetarian is a challenge.

I mean, every time I go hiking, I have

to bring my homemade "to furky jerky."

You go hiking?

I mean, no offense...

but you hardly seem like the kind of girl

that hits the trails--

Especially

in those shoes.

Don't be silly. The best "to furky"

is made by publicists in kitten heels.

I can see how you would think that,

but I actually love...

all that outdoorsy

type of stuff--

You know, hiking and biking

and climbing up things.

But, to tell you the truth, I haven't been

hiking since--Well, since my dog died.

See Jane and I had this

dog growing up, Tory.

I just-- I loved him.

He would just go on nature hikes

and climbing adventures.

Not a day goes by that I don't think about

that bag of fleas.

Good ol' Tory.

Jane, how come you never

mentioned Tory?

I don't know. I must have

repressed the memory of Toby.

Yeah. His name was "Toby," but I called him

"Tory" because I had a lisp.

A lisp that turned

your "B's" to "R's"?

You know what?

When I was a kid, I had a stutter.

No way!

- We have more things

in common than I thought.

- Yeah, me too.

I'm gonna go out and shag

some flies with Pedro.

Ooh! I'm jealous. It sounds fun.

- What are "shagging flies"?

- What are you doing?

- What?

- You hate dogs and tofu and being outside.

No. I like yachts. I like flowers.

I like, you know, tanning.

- I mean, it's not exactly the same--

- And you hated Toby.

You hated him. The only animals you ever

cared about are dead ones with sleeves.

You're just saying all this stuff

because George is so... attractive.

- Or some people think he is.

- I did not hate that dog.

I just hated it

when he slobbered on me.

And I could like soy milk

and hiking if I tried it. Maybe.

Hey, Tess. What do you say

you come out here. Let's see that arm.

Ooh. Fun. Are we gonna shag now?

- Ever done this before?

- No. I don't know how to do this.

- Here you go.

- Okay. Like that?

Put this arm down there. All right?

Hold that elbow up.

- Okay.

- All right. Hold it there.

Hi.

Thank you.

Thank you.

- Oh.

- #I'm in like with you #

- "Love, George."

- Ah.

#Not in love with you

quite yet #

- George.

- #My heart's beginning to #

Oh, that's terrific.

#Slightly overrule

my head #

#Oh, no, oh, no

My self-control #

#It won't hold up for very long #

#Oh, no, oh, no #

- # You touch my soul #

- We should all go fishing together sometime.

Wouldn't that be great?

# 'Cause I might need

a moment #

#And I wouldn't wanna spoil it

Who knows #

#If I am

ready or not #

- # To date or not #

- #Only time will tell #

# Who knows #

#If we are ready

to make this #

#Something #

# Who knows #

#Mmm,yeah #

You know that in sign language,

this means "I love you."

- #But I haven't fallen in quite yet #

- I love you too, Tess.

#Oh, no, oh, no #

#My self-control #

#It won't hold up

for very long #

#Oh, no, oh, no #

# You touch my soul #

#I can't help falling

too fast for you #

- # Who knows #

-Jane!

#If I am

ready or not ##

- Which one sucks less?

- This one.

- Good. Maybe, uh, would you mind again?

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