27 Dresses Page #9

No!

Okay, fine.

You don't have to wear it.

God, you don't care. You don't care

about anyone but yourself, do you?

I have made excuses for you because Mom

died when you were little. But enough is enough!

I have no idea

what you're talking about.

I can't undo what you've just done.

But I won't let you hurt George.

He thinks he knows the truth about you,

but all he knows are the lies you've told him.

You even had Pedro

keep a secret from George.

You tell him the truth

right now!

He is not one of your Eurotrash boyfriends,

Tess. He is a good person.

And you cannot start a relationship

based on lies.

Oh, really,Jane? And you know this

because of all your successful relationships?

You tell him the truth,

or I will.

No, you won't. You wouldn't hurt a fly.

And you definitely wouldn't hurt me.

- I'm your sister.

- That was yesterday.

Today you're just some b*tch who broke my

heart and cut up my mother's wedding dress.

Well, it wouldn't have

fit you anyway.

Oh,Jane.

You look wonderful.

Good for you.

Oh, honey, it must be so hard to watch

your younger sister get married before you.

Yes. Yes, it is.

But then I remember that I still get to have

hot hate sex with random strangers...

and I feel so much better.

Enjoy the party.

Whoo! You clean up good.

I might even be into you.

- Okay. It's on the desktop

under "Tess and George."

- Okay.

- You okay?

- Yep.

That's not water.

Okay.

Okay.

Hi.

-Jane, thank you so much for

doing all this. It's great.

- Sure.

- Hors d'oeuvre?

- Yeah. Oh, look. Pigs in a blanket.

- Want one, Tess?

- No. I don't eat that stuff,Jane.

Right.

That's right. Got it.

Well, I'm gonna go

do the slide show.

-Jane.

- Mmm?

You're only gonna

say what I wrote, right?

Of course. The perfect bridesmaid

always does what she's asked.

Not getting cold feet, are you?

- What was that?

- With this one? Never.

Hey, everybody.

In case you haven't

already read...

I have been to

my fair share of weddings.

So, to start things off...

I thought you should all know the truth

about Tess and George.

"Tess and George

are a perfect couple.

"No, a divine couple.

"A couple whose love

is the stuff of myths.

"Their compatibility

is so exact...

"that it can only be described

as having been designed by the gods.

Since a picture is worth a thousand words...

I put together a slide show

so you can all see for yourselves.

"From the very beginning, Tess and George

were destined for each other.

"George and Tess have always shared a love

of God's furry creatures.

"As they grew up, they both shared the same

level of dedication and commitment...

"to their education.

- Nice.

- "And civic responsibility.

- #So happy together #

- Oh, my.

"He was interested

in international affairs.

"And so was she.

Whoa.

"And today, Tess and George

still share the same values.

#Me and you

and you and me #

"Their love is based

on a deep understanding...

"and acceptance of who

the other person really is.

#So happy together #

#Bah, bah, bah, bah #

"The love of

two true soul mates...

"Tess and George.

So here's to the most perfect couple

brought together by destiny.

I'm so proud of you, Baby Sister.

Okay. Okay.

All right.

Well, that was--

Yeah. So, um...

to keep the merriment going,

um, George's "little brother" Pedro...

wanted to say

a few words.

Pedro.

So, safe to say you're not a vegetarian.

George, that was taken

a really long time ago.

Why exactly were you wearing

your engagement ring then?

Thank you.

As all you know,

George is my big brother.

But he's more than that.

He's my best friend.

And now George has Tess, who's-

who's really-really, really cool...

'cause she's gonna help me start

my own cleaning business.

Oh. Tess told me

not to tell you, George.

But I'm so excited.

So I'm only doing

George's place right now.

But if anyone is in the market for

a really good cleaning service...

please see me

in the lobby.

Thank you.

- That's great.

- No, it's-- it's not. George.

George, wait, please.

Let me explain.

So what happened?

- He needed to know the truth.

- You could've told him face-to-face.

I mean, I know that my moral compass

doesn't exactly point due north...

but if I say something's wrong,

something's wrong.

You're the one who is always telling me

to stand up for myself.

Yeah. But that's

not what you did.

What you did was unleash 20 years

of repressed feelings in one night.

It was entertaining--

don't get me wrong--

but if it was the right thing to do,

you'd feel better right now.

Do you feel better

right now?

The wedding's off.

I hope you're happy.

Oh, God. What?

Why are you here?

- You wouldn't return my phone calls.

- What do you want?

You want another picture

for your paper?

-Jane, I'm sorry. Believe me.

- Please. You used me to get ahead in your career.

Be a man and admit it.

Or-- Or don't.

But please, please don't pretend

that you give a sh*t.

- Will you just please let me explain?

- No, it doesn't matter.

I just destroyed my life,

and I didn't need your help to do it.

Great! Finally.

I saw what you did in there.

And you know what? I thought it was amazing.

Was it absolutely, certifiably nuts?

Yes, it was. But you did something,Jane.

- For the first time,you were not

just the perfect bridesmaid.

- Stop.Just please.

I'm not doing this with you again. I don't even

know why I'm standing here talking to you.

You know what? Let me tell you. Look.

Come here. Listen to me.

Do you want to know the real

reason why I came here tonight?

Because I knew this was

gonna be hard for you.

And for the first time in a really long time,

I wanted to be there for somebody. Yeah.

All right. I messed up.

I did. I'm sorry.

And I'm gonna turn around,

I'm gonna walk away. I'm gonna vanish.

You'll never see me again,

I promise.

But I want you to know

that I think you deserve--

I think you deserve more

than what you've settled for.

I do. I think you deserve to be

taken care of for a change.

I-- I believe that.

Ah.

I forgot to give you this.

It's a gift...

so you don't have to carry around that

crazy Filofax from 1987.

This will take care of all

the stuff you need to do.

Perfect for starting over.

Okay. Will you take it, please,

so I don't feel like such a jerk?

#Don't let your mind

get weary and confused #

# Your will be still

Don't try #

#Don't let your heart

get heavy, child, inside you #

# There's a strength

that lies #

The story got

a phenomenal response.

- Looks like you got yourself

bumped from Commitments.

That's great.

Kevin, be happy.

You got what you wanted, right?

#Don't let your soul

get lonely, child #

#It's only time

it will go by ##

All I'm saying is

you two are sisters.

- You have got to work this out.

- I'm telling you, she doesn't want to talk.

No, no. She loves you.

Everything is gonna be fine.

- Okay. If you just--

- Dad?

What the hell

is she doing here?

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