27 Missing Kisses

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That year there

were two eclipses.

One of the sun and

one of the moon.

Sibylla was 14.

Alexander was 41.

And I was 14, like Sybilla.

I remember how many times I

kissed Sibylla that summer: 73.

She said I was allowed 100 kisses,

but I didn't reach that figure.

It was interrupted by

the blast of a hunting rifle.

Wait for me!

Wait for me!

My dear redhaired cutie!

That gunner is

a complete fool!

It's dangerous to

drive past the range.

Veronica, my darling!

We've got to meet up!

Just steer clear of Veronica.

You know her lieutenant

is a real nut.

I don't really give a damn!

Ready!

Fire!

Lavrenti, dear, let's

go to bed together.

Leave me in peace.

When you get drunk, you yell

about not having children.

Where will they come from,

if you bang around with guns?

Fire!

Hurry, get out!

Come on, guys. Push, come on.

But all together!

Piotr, stop just standing around.

Leave your accordion and push.

Alexander, help us push!

That's it! Let's go!

Hurry up. Get up!

The brakes aren't working.

It must be from the explosion.

I'll keep going,

and you jump out.

Sibylla, don't jump!

Alexander, help her.

Are you okay?

-Weren't you afraid?

-No.

You sound just like Grandma

Katerina on the phone.

-I'll drop you at home.

-Just a moment.

I'm so happy to see you.

You'll drive, Mika?

She's my niece.

The girl's an angel.

Let's go.

-Where are you off to?

-I'll be right back.

-What's up with you?

-I've got diarrhea.

-Something you ate?

-No, I've fallen in love.

Who with?

Her name's Sybilla and

she's out on the motorbike.

I saw her and fell in love.

So much that it upset my stomach.

It's good, we were

passing by your place.

And your friend?

He's coming.

Here, take it, it's 207 years old.

Thank you.

Shall I compare you

to a summer day?

Though you are more lovely

and more tempered.

Rough winds do shake

the darling buds of May.

Summer has all

too short a date.

You can witness

the princess bathing.

Go behind the curtain.

Don't worry, the electricity

often gets turned off.

Alexander is an

extraordinary man.

Since his wife died...

he spends all his time in the

observatory, watching stars...

and pretending there are

no women in the world.

His son, Mika, is a good boy.

I really had to laugh when

I saw him looking at you...

devouring you with his eyes.

It stings, I've got some

soap in my eye.

-Let me have a look.

-It hurts.

Just a minute,

let me open the door.

Sorry, Marta, but I can't take

the flowers home with me.

My lieutenant

is a real Othello.

He'll start asking me all

about who gave them.

Tell your admirer that yellow

roses lead to separation.

It was a present for us.

Yellow roses!

You have to hold them up to

the moon and make a wish.

Moon, make papa

come back to mama.

Make Grandma Katerina

regain her sanity.

I've fallen in love.

Please, make my bad blood

calm down, as mama says.

What a moon...

I thought you weren't

sleeping anymore.

I came to watch the

light of the dying star.

You did promise to show me.

You put that beautifully:

"The light of the dying star."

When I was ill, I used

to talk to the moon.

Papa used to say,

"Sibylla fell from the moon."

I think about you

all the time.

I know it's not right for a girl

to go to a man at night.

I know it isn't.

Do you know Sappho?

Papa has a friend

called Sappho.

When she sees Papa,

she instantly falls asleep.

I'm not talking about some idiot,

but about the poetess!

She wrote poems and launched

them into the air like birds.

Like this... look!

He's going to come out...

stop and then go back.

What is it, Dad?

-I forgot my keys on the table.

-I'll get them.

-Catch.

-Thanks.

-How many spoons of sugar?

-Eight.

One, two, three, four...

five, six, seven, eight.

Don't stir it!

I hate it too sweet.

Martha, don't be late

for the rehearsal.

-What's the time?

-Four o'clock.

Here's the x-ray of

a man in love...

who swallowed three forks.

Why?

-His lover left him for another.

-Quick, let's go!

Break's over, enough singing.

Back to work.

I've still got

"Saint-Saens's Dying Swan."

Beautiful, Veronica.

Beautiful.

I know, but it still

needs a lot of work.

How are things?

Are you pregnant yet?

Pregnant? I'm not the Virgin Mary,

with her immaculate conception.

We've got a timetable,

so I fall pregnant.

Today, at noon.

What time is it?

-It's almost noon.

-So where's Lavrenti?

I don't understand why he's

being so irresponsible.

Quick!

Piotr has shot himself!

Come and see for yourself!

You know that crazy guy!

What an a**hole!

And he still gets his kicks!

I wanted to shoot a rat and

shot myself in the leg.

If only it'd been his

empty head instead!

Give me that pistol!

Enroll me in your choir. Women

love me, the halls will be full.

-Where's Veronica?

-Over there.

Go up in a tank

or in a battleship!

If the gun between

your legs is flabby...

it'll do no damn good!

This way, Alexander. You've

never been to my place before.

I want to have a serious talk.

We can't go on like this.

We live in a small town.

My husband...

Not in such a hurry.

My husband...

Why did I let her

go off alone?

And she lied to me,

saying she'd go with you.

Be careful, children!

Don't jump, it's dangerous.

There's a whirlpool.

Our German teacher

drowned here last year.

-I'm not afraid.

-If you jump, I'll jump too.

-Don't do that.

-Are you sure?

I want to dive right to the

bottom, like Ophelia.

Who's Ophelia?

What's the use talking to you?

You don't get anything.

Don't mess with my dress!

Leave it, or I'll

bash your heads.

Don't touch it!

Let's hide her clothing.

That showed them alright.

They deserved it,

the bastards.

-Hey, you little thief!

-I'm not a thief.

Walking around town almost naked.

Men will look at you!

Have you no sense of shame?

Is it you, Martha want

to enroll in our school?

We don't take girls like you.

-I don't need your school.

-If Karlovitch saw this...

-Who is that?

-My husband, the headmaster.

He would burn

me at the stake.

You talk a lot.

I can do a lot too. See?

Are you talking of Karlovitch? He's

a paragon of virtue in our town.

Among other things.

Birthdays are so good.

We remember old times.

Yes, nowadays people don't

even say hello to each other.

I'm sorry to say it...

but I'd give your niece

low marks for conduct.

Yes, her behavior

is terrible.

That Alexander,

he's like a blond Tarzan.

Do you like it?

What do you think?

Will he look at me today?

I bet, I'll manage

to steal his cigars.

At that age, something

happens with girls.

Their bad blood seethes

at the age of 14.

It's not their blood that's

bad, it's their education.

She needs leeches, I've got

some down in the shop.

Why leeches?

She's pale and thin already.

Or vitamins.

Maria Markovna is

a professional player.

I'm a professional marksman.

Unlike my son-in-law...

who takes aim for a whole half

hour and then hits the privy.

That's a poor joke.

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