3-D Sex and Zen: Extreme Ecstasy

The Amarus Bamboo Temple

on the Condensing Cliff

is the most renowned temple on Emei Mountain.

It is especially popular among people

from Western Sichuan.

It is in its incense heyday.

The Guanyin Hall on the right houses

a Bodhisattva statue

designed by the famous artist Wu Daozi

which dates back to 800 years ago.

The Guanyin is known to have answered

to faithful's prayers positively.

Thus, there are countless believers

kneeling and praying to the statue,

asking for a son, health,

or evil spirits to be warded off.

Go away, go!

Get out!

This is crazy. What's going on?

How dare he blaspheme against Guanyin!

You will be damned by the Gods!

Beat him... beat him to death!

This is sacrilegious

Let's go...

What is true happiness?

Happiness today is the cause of future misery.

Future misery is the result

of the happiness today.

Having said that,

I still prefer happiness today.

Just like the Prince of Ning

who leads a hideously luxurious life.

He collects the world's most

precious objects and people.

But do you think he's happy?

While he gratifies his endless desire,

cries of discontent arise among the people.

How could he be happy and at ease

while his people are suffering?

How can you compare a scumbag like him

to a sophisticated scholar like me?

I won't just let go of this incident.

Lin, don't you think

we're too young to get married?

We still haven't fooled around enough.

I'm sure you'd regret it.

If I have a lovely wife,

I wouldn't mind to lose some of my freedom.

Just go and take a look.

You don't have to marry him

if you don't like him.

I'm not getting married.

Master,

Mister Lin is waiting in the sitting room.

I don't care!

You have to go anyways.

Just to see for yourself.

Miss, you really have nothing to lose.

No, I'm not going.

But Mr. Tie is such a square,

I'm sure his daughter must be a bore,

and your sex life is likely to be...

Miss, come quick... Don't disturb me

My dearest Lin, how's your father doing?

He's doing great.

This is Wei Yangsheng, a good friend of mine.

He comes to keep me company.

Lin, I'm so sorry.

My daughter refuses to come out.

I haven't brought her up well enough.

You made a trip here but I'm afraid

you're not meeting her this time

In this case, let's get going.

We're actually kind of busy.

Come on, let's go. Oh, goodbye then

Master,

Miss is on her way out to meet the guests.

Now that Miss Tie is here,

I guess we should stay a while.

Okay.

As my daughter

lost her mother at an early age,

she is spoiled.

For matters about herself,

she always has to make her own decisions.

Dad, I only decide on trivial matters.

But marriage is a big thing

and of course, I'll leave it to dad,

for a woman should comply with

the Three Obediences and Four Virtues, right?

My daughter is still not married

all these years

because she is my only kid,

And my son-in-law

has to marry into our family.

The maid is so beautiful.

Their first son has to use our surname,

such conditions turn many men away.

Well... but I'm the only son in the family.

So were my father and grandfather...

Throughout 7 generations, all my patriarchal

ancestors are the only sons in the family.

But if I have the honour

to marry a lady like Miss Tie,

I don't mind marrying into the Tie's.

Okay, I've made up my mind.

I'll marry into the Tie's.

All my children will bear your last name.

I've also made up my mind.

Even my grandchildren can bear your last name.

But...

I approached Lin's parents first

and I have to stick to that.

So ....

Can I borrow a piece of paper?

Miss, he is really talented.

Here's a clumsy painting of mine,

I hope Mr. Tie and Miss Tie

could give some comments.

A picture comes to life with

the artist's exquisite strokes

Her eyes watery and sparkling, her lips red

Like a woman straight out

of Song Yu's prose poem

Miss Dong next door,

showing only her torso above the wall

Dad, I have made up my mind.

I will marry no one other than Wei Yangsheng.

And I'll also marry

no one other than Miss Tie.

Well...congratulationsm

Let me introduce a good friend of mine.

This is Scholar Shangguan Shun.

My good friend \/Veiyangshang.

Nice to meet you.

You too.

Master wants you to see him.

Excuse me.

They are Mr. and Mrs. Good Fortune

They are in their 90s,

and have been happily

married for more than 70 years.

Master invited them to give you blessings.

Mr. and Mrs. Good Fortune,

hope you are all well.

Good, we will give you a red pocket later.

My dear, look at you.

You have food all over you.

Excuse me,

you two have been married for decades.

How can you

still be so loving to each other?

I don't know.

I just know that I love her very much

And when we say "make love",

you have to make, to have love

I guess...you haven't made love for many years?

How can you still be in love?

It is no big deal not being able to make love.

You will understand when time goes by.

Sh*t.

The groom and the bride kneel

to the Heaven and Earth...

So cool!

Wait a minute.

My dear, will it hurt?

It will hurt, but it feels extremely awesome.

Thank god it didn't hurt. But...

I wouldn't call it awesome either...

I have to admit that

there is room for improvement.

I guess I need more practice,

improvement is absolutely possible.

Did you see it?

No. I blinked and it's over.

You hate Prince of Ning so much,

why do you want me

to bring you to the Tower of Rarities?

If I don't go in the tiger's den,

how can I collect his crime evidence?

Oh yes, good point ....

Your Highness,

I brought my best friend here today.

I guess you don't need me

to explain the rules here, do you?

Before I enter the tower, I have to make

a contribution to the collection.

I do understand.

This is from my father's collection.

I know it's not anything near a rarity.

It's not hard to find a coral this big,

but it's quite rare to see one

that big in bright red colour.

Bring over a few of those corals

that are to be packed into the store room.

Let them take a look.

You think a piece of junk of such calibre

could get you in the Tower of Rarities?

Now you can pick any one of these rejects

as your compensation.

And don't ever come back again, okay?

My ignorance has disgraced myself.

I'm in no position to accept

any generous gift from your Highness.

I'd better get going.

I thought I've had a taste

of your Highness' collection.

But I didn't expect to see a counterfeit

hung on the wall as if it's real.

This painting has been verified

by many connoisseurs.

The paper, ink and the brush are all

from the Tang Dynasty,

even the brushstrokes are signature of Wu's.

On what grounds do you think it's counterfeit?

Cut open the border,

you'd see the painting is made

up of two layers of paper.

The ingenious thing about this counterfeit

is the use of rare ancient paper for tracing.

The rice paper on top

was used to trace the brushstrokes of Wu.

But the backing sheet underneath

is Chengxintang paper from the last reign

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