30 Minutes or Less Page #6

They've been up there for a while.

I betcha, homeboy's trying to get one last blow job

in case he don't make it.

I like his style.

Hey, what's up man?

I'm just fixing the vaster.

Yo Juicy! what's happening?

This is King Dwayne.

I've been thinking about you alot..and...

I don't know. I just feel cool inside,

I'm excited to get this money.

and Me and You could start our thing.

I'm thinking alot about the poles scepter, deal.

I just want you to know that,

It's gonna be mutual.

You won't just have to polish my scepter;

I will also lick your Crown,

Which is...

a euphamaism for you know,

Eating your p*ssy.

Okay, give me a call.

When you get a chance, okay GoodBye!

What? Have my penis shrink to 12 inches...!

You're actually early for your shift!

- No, Christ!

I quit! F*** You!!!

F*** You!

You've been there almost 20 minutes!

- Well, I had a lot of sh*t to errand.

Hey, you have a Mr.Burger?

You get me one?

- I did. But you took so long,

I ate it.

Alright, give me one of those 5-Hour Energy f***ers!

Let's get to it.

I drank those too.

- Motherf***er!

Let's go and rob the bank!

I don't believe, we are doing this.

Okay, You go for the money.

I'll cover the crowd.

In and out.

I'm not feeling great man.

I drank like three of those

It's just too much energy...

I'm cramping up from all the energy,

my arms are jittery!

- Dude, settle down.

You ready for this?

Let's do it, C'mon.

What do I call you in there,

if I need to tell you something?

Call me Tivon. You'll be Darius.

I can tell you're not a black guy through the mask stuff.

Alright, you're still Darius and I'm Luis.

What if we are both Hispanics?

Like we met in a gang, in prison.

I like it. Maybe we stab a prison guard...

And we escaped,

and we're on the run.

- Yes..We're two loco motherfuckers

and that's the way we gotta roll in there.

Nothing's getting in our way!

- Wait?

- What?

I still don't a hispanic name.

You're Cruz.

- That's a great f***ing name!

Let's do this!!!

Bank robbery!! Move...

Everybody put your hands in the air!

No, get on the ground!

Actually, listen to him,

get on the f***ing ground!

Hey, hey...

back away!!

Don't even think about it.

Nobody press the buttons.

If you do, I'll shoot you in the face.

Now get over there, and get on the ground.

Now!

Go..go. GO!

You, just stand right there and don't do sh*t!

On the ground!

Don't make any sudden moves..okay?

Mustache! Stop looking at my face!!!

We just killed a prison guard,

and we're not afraid to kill again.

- Yeah, we stabbed him in the eye,

with a spoon.

Now! Very slowly,

get down..

and take your gun out and toss it.

C'mon...quicker!

Oh, god! I don't want the gun!

Did you do that on purpose!?

- No, It was an accident!

Are you guys working together?

What's going on here?

Please take this gun away!

Just toss it, lady!

I think she got the femoral artery!

- I'm so sorry! It was an accident!

- F*** you!

Who slides a gun like that!?

Dude, this guy got shot and bleeding out,

he's gonna die and we're going to prison!

No, no! Luis and Cruz are never going back to prison!

Why isn't anybody getting me help!?

Sir, let me see where you're hit.

It's just a flesh wound, Man.

You're gonna be okay.

Cruz, how we doing on the money?

oh, Sorry, Luis.

Don't make a sound.

You! What's your name?

- Sandra.

Alright, Sandra.

You get us a bag with a 100 thousand dollars...

we'll grab it and get the f*** out of here.

No one gets hurt!

Can I trust you?

Alright, let's go!

Let's get some money.

Whoa, Cruz. You're breaking your own rules.

Not the vault,

stick to the tellers.

I don't have that much money in the counter.

I'll have to go in the vault.

F*** it!

Go to the vault, let's go!

Go..go, go!

Hurry, hurrry!

Dude's been f***ing shot.

Time is money here.

Sir? You wanna get shot in the other knee?

Didn't think so..

Keep it down.

Got it...got it.

Good! Thank you Sandra.

I'm sorry, everybody.

I know we probably f***ed up your day.

I'm thinking of you in particular, sir.

Actually, you know what...

Here...Peel a few bills. On me.

Anybody rats this guy to the cops

and I'm coming after you.

I remember faces. Right Cruz?

He remember faces.

There you go, Sir.

Sandra.. What the f*** was that?

What happened to our trust?

- I'm sorry, they make us do it.

Hey Sandra, we need you here.

We all do.

So, would you kindly fill another bag,

Not a bank bag, this time.

A garbage bag.

And Cruz, you watch her.

Let's go, Sandra. C'mon.

I know your antics this time.

Go, go!

Boot up! I'm watching you.

We are not friends, no more.

Give me the bag, quickly!

Thanks, Sandra.

Whoa! Which one of you a**holes tripped the alarm!?

Sandra, don't tell me,

you did that too.

No! It was Mark!

He pushed the button when you guys came in!

Sandra, you b*tch!

Now they're gonna kill the both us!

You're the manager!

F*** both of you!

I'm a regular guy and you f***ed me!

So,Thank you for f***ing...

a regular guy!

And his partner, Cruz!

That's right..

Donna-Wells just got rob.

Drop your weapons!

Put your hands on your heads.

Now, slowly get your ass on the ground.

Do it now!

Guess what!

You just brought a gun to a bomb fight, officer!

Now, I pull these wires out and we all go!

So, you got ten seconds to drop your weapon -

One, Two!

I can't believe that worked!

That was awesome.

He was tempting a desperate motherf***er.

Holy sh*t! Homeboy's got the federales in hot pursuit.

Police cars chasing us!

We're in a f***ing car chase.

Well, we just rob a bank.

I do this for a living.

No, you don't. You get high and deliver pizzas,

That's nothing like this situation.

What are you doing?

My move, i'm gonna bang in 180

we'll be by in the opposite direction.

No, please don't bang.

No need for a bang!

Are you okay?

- yeah.

Take the money,

take the money.

Look at this.

Mr.Fisher is not gonna be pleased about this.

I'm trying to get away...Okay.

Hold on, hold on.

you got a piece of the car stuck in you.

Get it out! Get it out!

I gonna get tetanus?

What should we do now?

Slow down, slow down.

Hey, You know what happened

to the guys they were after?

Sounds like they got away.

That's terrible.

I hope that they catch them.

There's a 100 grand in there.

Which we stole.

From a bank.

I told a bunch of people I was gonna shoot em.

I was like..

"you f***ing move,

and I will kill you where you stand!"

I threatened to blow up a guy.

And you never said

"I will kill you where you stand."

Yeah, I know.

But sh*t did get pretty crazy.

I held my gun, sidewise at one point.

Yeah, you did.

Man, there's no one I would have

rather taken down a bank with.

I mean that.

Me, neither.

And as for all that sh*t I said...

all that sh*t I did...

I just hope you can forgive me.

I'm sorry i've been such a dick.

I don't think there'll be anybody be friends with me.

C'mon, you're talking to a guy

who slept with his best friend's ex- girlfriend,

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