3 Blind Saints

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1

(instrumental rock music)

All my life I've been a logical man

But I've seen thingsI just don't understand

Feeling the feelingsI never thought I would

I don't understand itbut it sure feels good

If you were to smell it

Or see with my eyes

But there's a truth I've gotta realize

I've always been blind

But now I can see

It almost makes me believe in a miracle

Yes a miracle

Whoa

Dreamin' and steamin' however I could

Not really doin' thethings that I should

- [Man] Repent for thekingdom of God is nigh!

Thank you brother!

Couldn't find my way nomatter how hard I've tried

Didn't know I was lost

Didn't know I was blind

Til you opened my eyeswith the light you shine

When I found your loveit made everything new

It almost makes me believe in a miracle

Yeah yeah

Come on

- [Sam] Frankie, you know the rules.

No eating in in the car.

Lose it.

- [Man] Ya jerk!

- [Jamal] We really need toconsider getting some real jobs

so we can make some real money.

I mean, come on.

- Real job?

Are you out of your mind?

Gentlemen, we are livin' the dream, man!

We got no responsibilities,travelin' the country.

This is the first day ofthe rest of our lives.

- Uh oh, here he come.

- [Frankie] Yeah I think I've heard

this song and dance before.

- Okay, alright, I understand.

The singing concierge's gigdidn't work out exactly.

- I like being called a singing concierge.

- Frankie, you don't sing!

- That's true.

- You know isn't itillegal for them to just

fire us just like that anyway?

- It should be.

Which just proves you shouldnever put your faith and trust

in the powers that be.

- It's Frankie's fault.

- Hey, you know what?

The big girl was wearinga shirt that said guess?

So I said, 350 pounds.

- She's the boss's daughter, Frankie!

- That don't make her thin.

- Guys, forget it!

This next gig is the one

that's gonna make us a lot of money.

- Look Sam, since we were kids every time

you had a good idea,something really bad happened.

- Look I'm telling you guys,they haven't all been bad.

- [Jamal] Not buyin' it.

- We're just ahead of our time.

Stick with me here 'cause I feel it.

There is something bigon the horizon for us.

Big.

- Hey, hold on a sec.

Look at that right there, rightthere, right, right, right.

I got a coupon right here.

It says free reading by Big Ursula.

- Frankie, Frankie, Frankie, Frankie,

don't you know that's alljust a bunch of hocus pocus?

- Yes, exactly.

- What is?

What's a bunch of hocus pocus?

- That, all of it.

Fortune tellers, ghosts,goblins, vampires,

meditation, God himself,I mean I'm tellin' ya

it's all illogical and unscientific.

- [Jamal] That's right.

- Unless you can touchit, feel it, or smell it,

my friend, it's all ancient superstition.

- Frankie, Sam's right.

It's an abomination.

- Sam, let's go, come on.

- It's a sin, man.

- How would you know?

You don't go to church.

- My great grandmama LulaPearl, God rest her soul,

precious, love you, grandma,

she taught me everythingI need to know about sin.

- Come on, Sam, let's go!

- Alright fine, five minutes tops.

- Yes!

- We'll stop, pull over, see Ursula.

We'll get a bite to eat.

We'll be outta there!

- [Jamal] See why do youget to decide where we go

and what we do?

- [Sam] Study your history, Jamal.

The man with the carhas always historically

been the boss of said passengers.

(rock music)

It's not in my headbut it's deep in my heart

It almost makes me believe

In a miracle

(brakes squealing)

- [Jamal] Man, where'dyou learn how to brake?

- [Frankie] Comin' in, Sam?

- [Sam] No!

- [Jamal] Abomination!

- [Frankie] I'll be rightback with some good news!

- [Sam] Rusty's Sports Bar, huh?

Maybe that's where we'll go for lunch.

- Man, I got a bad, badfeeling about this, Sam.

A bad feeling about this.

- Seriously, you're overreacting.

It's like we're in Mayberry, USA here.

We're fine.

- Good afternoon, gentlemen.

- Hi.

- You boys aren't fromaround here, are you?

- Oh, no, Officer.

No we are not.

- Whatcha doin' here?

- Well, as you can see,Mr. Officer of the law,

we are patrons of one of yourfine local establishments.

- That's right.

You know Mr. Officer,I'm sure you heard of us.

We're the famous singing concierge.

(sings) La!

- (sings) La!

- (sings) Ah! Hey.

- You know you're double parked?

- No, sir.

But if you hum a fewbars, I'd try to fake it.

Hey!

- That's not what he meant.

- Maybe I should check your plates.

Just in case y'all are dangerous fugitives

runnin' from the law.

- That's not necessary.

- Hey Frankie!

- Alright I'm gonna let you go.

But you boys watch yourselves, you hear?

- Oh that we will do,Mr. Officer of the law.

- I am grateful fromthe bottom of my heart.

- Sam, she read my palm and she said son,

this is your lucky day.

Then she gave me a freebottle of glory be!

- Frankie, I don't careand get rid of that.

You can't drink in the car.

Now!

Get rid of it!

- Fine!

(bottle breaking)

- Really Frankie?

- Outta the car!

Get over on that curb!

Come on, all of you!

All three of you!

Sit over there on that curb.

- [Sam] Officer, I can explain.

- Shut up!

Over there!

Let's go!

Sit!

I knew the three of you were up to no good

the minute I saw you roll into town.

- Good thing he didn't see the tickets

in the glove compartment.

- What's that?

Speeding tickets?

Tickets, tickets, tickets!

Just as I thought.

A bunch of law breakers.

(cell door closing)

- Some lucky day.

- Day ain't over yet.

- Ah look at the bright side, boys.

Tomorrow we'll go before some small town

chucklehead judge who's probably a deacon

at the corner church.

Play our cards right, wecan get him to forgive us,

as every good Christian should,

and we will be on our way.

- Say, say I got an idea onhow to get us outta here!

- Whatcha thinkin' Jamal?

- Everybody who goes to jail gets saved.

Ain't that right, Frankie?

- I pretty much got savedevery time I was in jail

and baptized too if therewere any water in the toilet.

(laughs)

- Saved?

You know somebody whocan bust us outta here?

- I'm not talking aboutthat kinda saved, Sam.

I'm talking about theget religion kinda saved.

- Wait a minute.

You expect me to go before a judge

and convince him that Isuddenly found religion?

You know I don't believeany of this stuff.

- You don't have to believe it.

You just gotta make sure thatthe judge believes it, Sam!

Gentlemen, we are all gonna get saved!

(church organ music)

- [Rusty] Looks like ourReverend Freeman's a no show.

- It's probably a good thing.

I think our good friendhere, Judge Cartwright

was gonna put him awayfor a pretty long time.

- It's kind of a shame really.

He's not a bad fella.

- Problem is, where arewe gonna find a reverend

dumb enough to fall for your plan?

- Just remember there's asucker born every minute.

- All rise.

The Honorable Judge Calden Cartwright.

- You can go ahead and sit down.

- City of Rocky Roadcalls the Reverend Freeman

on the charge of stealing an exhaustion

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