3 Days of Normal Page #2

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give it a rest.

Just pull that porcupine out

of your butt

and let's move this thing along.

Well, Miss, you're free to go.

Sanity reigns.

It was for your own good that Officer

Morgan brought you in here last night.

You know that, right?

I'm just glad that a man as

rational and intelligent

as you showed up to rescue me.

Just doing my job, Miss.

Now I imagine you'll be

needing a ride to your vehicle?

I do. Are you offering?

No, but Officer Morgan here is.

Great, more QT with Barney Fife.

Go on, Bill.

You're better than

this jail cell, Famo-Amo!

Now get out of here and don't

come back unless you're visiting.

Alright. Thanks Chief.

No, really, you have no idea

how great this was for me.

Oh.

Huh. That's cute.

[GRUNTS]

Thanks Officer.

Get home safe now,

Miss Hurwitz.

Thanks again, Chief.

Dale! What was that?

Calm down, May.

She was just thanking me

for my professionalism.

Oh stop stroking your ego.

Don't you know who that was?

Hochee-mochee!

It's about time you all

figured it out.

Vamoose, Amo!

Look, look, look!

I know...

She's got that gun.

Yeah, oh and uh yes.

You know, you can just stop

it with that.

How do you do that without using

cruise control?

It's amazing!

Oh, you're talented.

Do you think there's

fleas in that jail?

'Cause my head is itchy.

Have a safe trip

back to New York.

Yeah. Thanks.

You can go now.

You're free to go.

I'm not free.

Not if I go back there.

Let me put this in words you

might understand.

You don't' have to go home,

but you can't stay here.

You're probably going to try

to arrest me for this too,

But you're a real prick.

Mind the speed limits now.

[REVS ENGINE]

Peas and crow!

You okay, Bill!

It's Officer Morgan.

Well, Officer Morgan, I uh,

seem to have noticed

you got in some car trouble.

Anything a drunk lush like me can do

to help you out?

I need a lift into town.

Gosh, I don't know.

I have got so much to do today.

You know, milk the horses,

water the cows.

Ooph, besides can't

you just call the chief?

I can't tell Chief about this.

Yeah, it's pretty embarrassing.

Good luck!

Hold on, wait, whoa, whoa,

wait!

Whoa.

You can't leave me out here.

I'm 20 miles from town.

Well that's what you get for

surrounding yourself

with such

peace and tranquility.

Hey, hey!

Ch-ch-ch-Charlie.

Hey, I need a tow.

No, no, now, not later.

Now I need it.

Charlie, Charlie, Charlie?

I need a tow. Prick!

[CHANGING RADIO STATIONS]

I just want to know what I'm

supposed to tell my daughter.

I mean she idolizes Nikki Gold.

I've seen your daughter.

You should both stick to radio.

Maybe Nikki Gold should too.

Hey she's made some

decent stuff.

Did you see Summer's Dawn?

No, but I did see her do

blow off a sidewalk.

[LAUGHTER]

Gene's right.

That girl is two steps away

from a certified train wreck.

Well I hope she pulls

herself out of

whatever funk she's in.

Don't worry, if this tape's

half as good as advertised,

she'll have a whole new

career waiting for her

in a different part of the

entertainment industry.

[LAUGHTER]

Two hours, nine minutes and

13 seconds.

I think that's pretty

admirable for 12 miles.

[GRUNTS]

You thirsty?

Yum yum! Drink up!

[GASPING]

Thank you.

Thank you.

I'm sorry, I didn't touch it.

I just, I couldn't resist.

What are you doing here?

Oh, you know, just soaking up

the oxygen.

I ought to arrest you for

being a pain in the butt.

Hey, arrest yourself.

Aw crud!

I wouldn't have said anything.

Yeah, I would have.

Hey, I've been trying to find

a decent hotel in the area,

but there is no 3-G out here.

The nearest one's in Greeley.

I think it's 40 miles west.

Oh, it's a little far to

go for a shower.

What do you need a shower for?

Have you seen the

mattress in that cell?

I guess you're going to

Greeley then?

Don't you have a shower?

What?

I'll use that.

No

Yes.

No.

Come on.

You are not coming to my house.

Oh come on.

No!

I'll get to wash whatever

man-stew

has soaked into that prison bed

over the last hundred years.

And you get a ride back to town.

The chief never the wiser.

Great, settled.

Let's go.

Come on.

Come on!

You can do it, come on.

I'm not happy about this.

It's a cool car.

Thanks.

Why you got standard?

Why are you a little bit gay?

[PHONE RINGS]

Yeah?

No, I'm, I'm in the middle of

a very important meeting.

Who?

Nikki?

Just so, what, what, what's

she doing up there?

Oh, oh

We'll see. Some guy just

called it in.

[PHONE RINGS]

Do you have a towel?

Cabinet.

Ah,

Bill Morgan.

Bill!

Where the hell have you been?

Chief, hey, I, I just stopped

home for one minute.

Where is that girl?

She is in the bathroom.

At your house?

Well I, I thought you were

taking her to her car?

Tell him to be nice.

I was and then she wanted to

get cleaned up.

So I, I brought her here.

Well played, my boy.

[LAUGHS]

Have her sign something.

Well as soon as she's done,

it's back out on patrol.

No, no, don't ever sign something

because then she's gonna...

Shh, shh, shh, shh, shh.

Okay, sorry, I'm sorry.

Bill, I got things

under control here.

Just try to be nice for once.

Make her some lunch,

have some fun.

Chief, I want her out of here

as soon as possible.

Well I you two to enjoy

yourselves.

Consider that an order!

Ah crud!

Ah, she's gorgeous. Look at her.

I just hope Bill aint trying

to play Scrabble with her.

You got any clothes I can wear?

I threw mine in the wash.

Yeah, I... heard it running

What do you got there?

Oh, nothing, I was just

putting it away.

I'm not sure how it got out.

You got any game?

You mean am I good?

Yeah, I was the two-time town

quarter finalist.

Hmm, you may not know me very

well, Officer Bill Morgan,

But playing Scrabble is one thing

I do truly well in my life.

Uh, let's get some

clothes on you first.

Mmm mm mm.

Ooh.

Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, that

could work.

Thanks.

Yellow's my best color, you

know.

Yeah, it's your hair.

Surprised you notice that

sort of thing.

It's my job to notice things.

So I was thinking of

making some food.

Probably good for you to eat

something before you blow away.

Mac and cheese it is.

Nikki?

Nikki?

Nikki?

Nikki.

Food's ready.

Eat up.

I like my victim's fat before

the slaughter.

You came.

I figured you'd run.

Like you always do.

Not this time.

I'm tired of running,

of not being able to remember

who I am.

Then...

let me remind you.

[GIGGLES]

You think I could get away

with lines like that?

Well, it wouldn't

hurt you to try.

Then let me remind you...

Where's the kiss part?

Mmmmuh.

[WHISPERS] They might know.

Could I help you?

I certainly hope so.

I'm a journalist.

From New York.

I have it on good authority

that a certain young woman

of interest may be here

in your fair town.

And who might that be?

That's her right now.

Look!

If you're here for

some kind of tip,

you're barking up

the wrong tree.

It's not like I expect

something for nothing.

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