3 Men and a Little Lady Page #3

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wonderful man.

In some ways,

I love him very much.

But... something

keeps me from saying "yes."

Would that something happen

to be a tall architect?

- What do you mean?

- You're wasting your

time with that one.

Why do you

say that?

Some men are never comfortable

with their feelings.

They can't open up.

He does with Mary.

He's wonderful with her.

That's different.

If you think you can get

him to open up to you,

then, by all means,

marry him.

You'll find you've

wasted precious time...

waiting

for nothing.

Mary, turn off the TV

and go to sleep.

- No!

- We leave her with you...

- and she's crazy.

- She's going through some weird phase.

- It's no different than before.

- It's a lot different!

- Things have got to change around here.

- I heard you.

It's not healthy for a guy

to get excited and have to stop!

- She wouldn't stop

bothering us all night.

- Give me that.

Laurie finally left.

I'm pulling the plug.

I've got a life, too,

you know!

Sh*t!

- You said the "S" word.

- I didn't. Ah, sh*t!

- Are you listening?

- I'm electrocuting myself.

What is going on?

What are you doing up,

young lady?

Excuse us.

What started

all this?

I think we're getting

into some uncharted territory.

- Is it mine or yours?

- It's me.

I'll take that one.

- How's Mary?

- Asleep for now.

What's the matter

with her?

We're getting a taste

of tough things ahead.

- Adolescence!

- Puberty.

- Puberty was my favorite stage.

- I'm serious, Jack.

So am I! That's one

thing I was good at.

How long do you think we're

gonna be able to do this?

- Do what, honey?

- Live like this.

Me, you, Mary.

It's worked so far,

hasn't it?

It was necessary

at first.

And now you're such a

big star you don't need us.

That's not fair,

Jack.

I don't think

we're meeting...

Mary's or my

or your needs.

What needs are you talking about?

Passion, marriage,

children, sex!

You took the words

out of my mouth!

I'll talk to Mary

about sex if you want.

- Not sex for Mary, sex for me.

- Uh-oh.

Time to dust off

the old penis speech.

- I never have it with me

when I need it.

- I'm serious!

I want to get married.

I want more children.

This must be

limiting for you.

It is.

That's the problem.

If Mary and I

hadn't moved in,

- you'd be in different places now.

- We'd be married.

We'd be divorced.

You saved us a fortune.

Joke all you want,

but Mary needs a

more normal environment.

She's very confused

and so am I.

Okay, I'll live up

to my responsibility.

You want

to marry me?

Jack, be serious.

I am! We had

a child together.

What do you say?

- Want to sleep on it?

- She did that once.

Hey, shut up!

Do you want

to marry me?

No.

No?

But thank you

for asking.

Whew!

That was a close one.

Jack, you're a wonderful

man and a great father,

- but you'd be a terrible husband.

- I can live with that.

Besides,

I don't love you.

Not romantically.

You don't love me either.

- How do you know?

- I know.

- Maybe he does.

No, he's not

that good an actor.

I know you

too well.

- I could fool you.

- Never!

I never know what

to do with my hands.

My hands are always

giving me away.

I didn't

come down here...

expecting the 3 of you

to draw straws for me.

A lot of things

are changing.

It's time

we face it.

Come in.

- Oh, Peter! Is Mary all right?

- She's fine.

Last time you came

to the theater,

she had a raisin

in her ear.

- That was Jack who put

the raisin in her ear.

- I should've known.

That's a

very pretty dress.

Thank you.

- What brings you here?

- You.

- Me?

- You're right. We haven't been...

paying enough

attention to your needs.

There's something that

I wanted to say to you...

without Michael

and Jack around.

What is it?

Well,

I think you should get

married and have more kids.

If they're like Mary,

you should have a dozen.

I just wanted you

to know that.

Whatever you decide,

I'll support you.

Is that all?

Well, make sure

you pick the right guy!

Don't just rush

into it.

I'm not rushing

into anything.

That's what everybody thinks

when they're doing it.

- This is a huge step.

- Maybe it's time

we take some huge steps.

Picking the wrong person

is the worst mistake.

- I know.

- Do you?

- How many times have you been married?

- Once.

What?

When?

We've spent all

this time together,

and you've never

told me.

Well, it was

a long time ago...

for about

an hour.

- DoJack and Michael know?

- Jack knows.

No one else?

My ex-wife has

a dim recollection.

Obviously it was a

wonderful experience for you.

One that can never

be equaled,

not without bloodshed,

anyway.

- Look.

- Darling! Oh.

- Peter, I didn't know you were here.

- Hello, darling.

I was...

just leaving,

Edward.

Think about it.

I will.

We can't force Sylvia to marry

somebody we choose for her.

All we're saying is that

she wants to get married,

so let's introduce

her to some nice guys.

If it's a friend, it'll

make things easier on us.

That's true.

- Good. Read the list.

- Okay. Carl?

- Carl is too short.

- He won't be a threat to Mary.

She's bigger.

- What about Bill?

- I like Bill.

Don't we need someone

a little more elegant?

Moose?

Probably not.

- Denny.

- Denny's a great idea.

- Denny's always broke.

- What aboutJim?

Someone a little more mature

than Mary would be preferable.

- Slim pickings.

- Glad I'm not searching for a husband.

I'm looking better.

- Greg?

- Too young.

- Matt?

- Too old.

- Trevor?

- Too fat.

Bill? Billy-Bob?

Billy-Joe?

- Peter, we're not asking

you to marry the guy.

- What about Edward?

He's English.

- So is Sylvia.

- Nah, that's one of those

actor-director things.

They never last.

Trust me.

- You know what I'm thinking?

- What?

I'm thinking I'd like

to have another child.

Maybe two more.

Maybe even a dozen!

I'd like

to have children.

Really?

You didn't before.

I must be growing up.

I thought you liked

those opening night parties.

The hotels,

the stars!

- I thought that was the best part.

- I lied.

You're the best part.

I love you,

Sylvia Bennington.

Marry me.

I'm getting married.

I'm getting

married!

I'm, I'm...

I'm getting married.

Ah, no!

Sylvia, there's

no more milk.

- I'm getting married.

- Don't overreact. I can get some milk.

- I think she's serious. You serious?

- I'm very serious.

- You're getting married?

- Yes.

- To someone specific?

- No, to the Mormon Tabernacle Choir.

- We spent all night

and couldn't come up with squat.

- What?

Never mind.

- Who is he?

- Edward.

Yes!

Sweetheart, come on,

he's a director.

Why him?

Because he asked me,

and because

I love him.

I've got so much to do.

We're being married in England.

- When?

- Soon.

Edward's directing

"Midsummer Night's Dream,"

- and I'll be doing it with him.

- Anything for me?

Jack!

Aren't you

happy for me?

Yeah, yeah,

of course we are.

How many times does

a lady get married, huh?

- 2, 3 times at the most?

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