3 Nights in the Desert Page #2

anything, Bareman?

Like anything?

Yeah, I could whack it anything.

I... I could what it to

a... and I don't even

know where he got this... I could

whack it to a golden f***ing

Gold... a golden cube.

A golden cube.

A what?

Can I please take

over the story here?

A golden cube because it's

floating in space and it's

It's devoid of any sexuality.

It's a competitive challenge.

Yeah.

He didn't make that clear.

Wow.

So I get home, I lay

on my bed, and I focus.

And I'm picturing this gold

cube floating in space.

And then I think

of Stacy Carter.

Or some other hot chick.

And I stop.

I become fully flaccid.

Start from scratch,

and I do it again.

And I did it.

You did.

We don't know if you did it.

Nobody knows if you did it.

How do you prove that?

How do you prove that...

I guess you just

have to trust my word.

Hey, here's to being

pathologically honest.

Pathologically honest Barry.

Shh, you be quiet.

Shut up.

Get in my mouth.

Uh, happy birthday to us, right?

To you.

Me.

Ha... happy birthday.

That's my terrible

birthday song.

Yeah, you killed it.

Look, I need more booze.

This is giving me anxiety.

Shh, make a wish.

Nice.

It's almost time.

For what?

I forget how many there are.

Come on, brown eyes.

OK.

This cave, it's not just a cave.

Shh.

People have been coming

here for centuries.

I saw a pack of coyotes

standing where you are.

Staring in.

You go into the cave, your

deepest desire comes true.

Does that mean there's

like a genie that's

in a bottle in there?

No, no.

None of that genie sh*t.

See, genies, they give

you what you want.

This cave knows what you need.

I think I'd rather have

the genie in the bottle.

I think you'd just like

anything that's in a bottle.

Shut up.

You.

Go in.

Oh, come on, Travis.

Please.

Come on.

We see it.

Go in.

You scared?

Yes.

Going in.

No.

OK, all right.

It's so narrow.

Have you been in there?

What's that dripping sound?

OK.

Are you OK?

Uh-huh.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Bet that's good for the

property value, huh?

Magical cave.

You should go in, Barry.

It's fun.

OK.

That's uh, pretty cool.

Yeah?

Cool.

Should we, uh?

You're not going in?

No, no.

Travis.

You're doing better

than I thought.

He took us to this magical cave.

No, we didn't do drugs.

I promise.

It was my monster.

Mm.

Good night.

Got everything you need?

Um, heh.

Yeah.

Um.

I love you, Bareman.

Hm?

I love you, Bareman.

Uh.

Good night, dude.

I said I love you.

I love you, Bareman.

I love you, Bareman.

I love you too, man.

All right.

All right.

Anna?

Hey.

You OK?

Sorry, it was just a bad dream.

You just got startled.

What's going on?

Just a bad dream.

Just, screaming.

What kind of dream?

It's nothing.

Yeah?

Yeah.

Good night.

Oh.

Hey!

No!

I'm just checking out the

latest from the new world.

Travis.

Oh.

Ah, you even sleep

with this thing?

It's not funny.

You must be hooked.

Don't stay up too late.

Sh*t.

Look, I'm figuring it out.

Yes.

Soon, OK?

OK.

I love you too.

Be nice to me now.

I'm a cripple.

Got it?

Got it!

Yeah!

Still got it!

See that?

Yeah?

You uh, you just check out his

patented I mean business mode.

He pushes his glasses back

up the bridge of his nose

when he's about to kick

it into another gear.

Ready, Bareman?

Ready!

Yeah.

Another friend decided to come.

She's got the bedroom.

Anna.

It's a surprise for me too.

OK.

Yes, I took my jog.

It was gorgeous.

Come on.

You know, I pictured

you out here.

Oh, yeah?

Is that what you imagined?

You know, we need a guitarist.

You're playing with

some good musicians.

Ah, yes.

They're good.

We need a wild man.

It'd be like old times.

Except now you're a silver fox.

Can you believe

Bareman's jogging?

Ooh.

Yeah.

Ooh.

You've got the numbers

all colored in your head.

You can't resist because my

love's got a half a life.

One by one is

seven, seven times.

And the dealer

whispers into your ear,

you better bet it all.

Ooh.

You do the long

division in your head.

You can't resist because my

love's got a half a life.

And you have carried the

ones who remained too long.

And the sphere whispers in your

ear, you better bet it all,

you better bet it all.

Ooh.

Sh*t, what's the bridge?

We never found it.

Really?

Yeah.

Sh*t.

I know.

I know we said no gifts, but

I really couldn't help myself.

Ah, yes!

Cool.

Nice, thank you.

Try it on.

I think I got the right size.

Dude, you look great.

It's jogging, dude.

Yeah, you look good.

Feels good.

It fits.

I love it.

Open yours.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I couldn't stand the idea

of you having all these songs

stuck in your head.

So... wanted you to be

able to record them.

Thanks.

Mm-hmm.

When I was out

there on the road,

everything felt like a dream.

It's just felt so unreal.

And then when I got back, it was

like everything was too real.

I feel... I feel like I

have to choose a path.

And even if I don't

choose a path, you know,

that's... that's like

choosing a path.

So no matter what...

Exactly.

It's kind of

startling how similar

it is to what I've been thinking

about the last few years.

Yeah.

Yeah.

You were saying?

Oh.

I'm... I'm just saying that

I feel the... the pressure

of choosing a path, you know?

But I want it to

be the right one.

I know we're all, you

know, we're super busy.

And we really screwed each

other over a lot, but... f***,

I miss you guys.

Yeah.

Yeah, yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I want to know what

Barry's thinking.

What are you thinking, Barry?

Uh, I don't know.

Uh, we've got to stay

friends for sure.

Nah, I mean in general.

What are you hoping for?

Uh, I don't know.

I feel lucky.

Really, that's all?

It's not... nothing else?

Well, I mean, I guess there's

things that I will want.

But right now,

basically, I've got it.

And honestly what's

cool is this stability.

Ah.

And the best part about it

is this sense of independence.

Being a tax attorney gives

you a sense of independence?

OK, sure.

I have partners looking over

my shoulder and I'm super busy.

But I get my work done,

I put in my hours,

and everything's...

Everything's under control.

It's, um... to me

that's independence.

Look, there are a lot

of paths out there,

and that can be paralyzing.

And I'm just happy I

found the right one.

You are impressive,

you know that?

I get needing to make a living.

I do, I get it.

It's just the way you

embrace the whole thing

as the one and only path.

I didn't say that.

Yeah, you kind of said that.

Nah, it's really...

t's impressive.

It really is.

OK.

Here's how I see it.

You got a bag of

marbles in front of you

and you reach into the bag.

And you're thinking, man,

I'd like a blue marble.

A blue marble would be great.

I really want blue.

You reach in that bag

and you pull it out.

Bam, red.

And you're like,

well that's red.

That's not blue, I

really wanted blue.

But you know what?

Red's OK.

Yeah, no, red's

good, red's good.

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