42 Seconds of Happiness Page #9

I'm so sorry.

(Rain patters)

[Felice] Where are you going?

God, God, f***, f***, f***, f***, f***.

- F***, f***.

- [Felice] What are you doing?

Holy f***ing sh*t!

[Felice] Oh, my gosh.

Holy sh*t.

(Splashing)

(Rain patters)

Are you okay?

No, come in here.

No, that is not, that is not happening.

(Heavy breathing)

You've gotta get in here.

It's so good.

Oh, my God.

Don't make me.

- Please.

- Make you what?

Oh, my God.

Oh my God.

Oh my God.

Oh my God.

Muah.

(Splash)

Oh my God.

Oh my God.

Oh my God.

Oh, sweet Jesus!

I can't believe we just did that!

[Cybil] She's, she's fine.

She's not crazy, you know?

She's a good mom.

She takes the kids to school.

She cooks.

She does everything for them.

She's not crazy.

Hey, thank you.

Thanks for not letting them call the cops.

Do you need help?

I keep thinking if it's raining,

give me some kind of a tarp or something?

(Mumbling)

Oh my God, are you okay?

I mean, clearly.

(Laughing)

What, oh my God.

Oh, my God.

Please...

(Laughing)

This is, this is the worst wedding ever.

Just because, just because we were

at gunpoint for two hours?

(Heavy breathing)

It's was like, oh wait,

can you wait to kill me,

I have to pee first.

Doesn't he know that when you get shot,

you just pee your pants anyway?

Oh, God, that's horrible.

I thought she was, ugh.

Oh my God, I thought she killed them.

What?

I thought she killed her kids.

[Cybil] Oh, you thought she killed her kids?

I thought she was gonna kill them.

I thought she, I thought she was,

I thought she was like, living in the future.

I thought she was like, "I didn't want to kill her,"

and had already killed her in her mind.

I thought she was gonna kill...

Oh my god.

Did that just happen?

Can you ever forgive me?

(Moaning)

I'm, uh, not in touch with Peter.

Nobody is.

I was in the beginning.

He, um, he called me to say he was leaving.

Why didn't you tell me?

I didn't know how to,

how to tell you,

and I didn't even know what to say.

(Cybil laughs)

[Maria] Do you want to f*** Ben?

Woah.

It's my fault.

(Heavy breathing)

(Crying)

Sorry.

[Vineke] I didn't know I would be happy somewhere else.

I'm sorry.

I know.

You don't.

Alis?

Alis, where are you?

Alis?

Alis, are you in here?

Hey.

You okay?

I'm so sorry.

I'm so, so sorry.

You slept with her.

Yeah. I...

I'm sorry.

Now you're saying sorry.

You're gonna leave with her in the morning.

Oh, yeah.

Hey.

(Sobbing)

God, you're the only thing that makes me happy right now.

I can't lose this.

(Rain patters)

(Frogs croak)

(Heavy footsteps)

(Scream)

Hello, what is going on here?

Can you hold this for a second?

[Ben] I was on that couch before.

I love that couch.

I got a text from my friend.

[Ben] That couch saved my life.

[Cybil] It was supposed to be the efficient.

[Marc] So, you think we're gonna be stuck here for days,

or what?

[Cybil] Yeah, there's no way into the city.

Bridges are closed, tunnel's closed.

Subway's closed.

[Ike] This is just like Escape From New York.

You seen that movie?

Hello, Kurt Russel?

[Cybil] Who's that?

[Ike] Kids are all right.

Felice called them like, a thousand times.

And they're Uptown, so they still have power.

[Vineke] Okay, like, maybe I should smoke.

[Cybil] Here, here, here, here.

That's what he said...

(Vineke makes sounds of disgust)

[Man] I offered her some yesterday.

[Man] And there goes that bottle.

[Tomas] If I could sleep, would I even be down here?

What happened, did Felice have another baby?

Just so you know.

The lady Vineke, a big stood-up...

(Imitating trumpet music)

[Man] Wonderfully done, sir.

There's a whole spread with chips,

and dips, and, and chocolates, and brownies.

What do you have to do to make someone like that happy?

And chocolatey salty treats, and...

You failed.

You failed.

(Heavy breathing)

How about Alis?

You tell me.

You never think about what it would be like

when you divorce that person,

like who's that person going to be like, right?

[Marc] Yeah.

[Tomas] Like Noah and Titno, right?

Did you ever think about that?

[Marc] No, no.

[Tomas] No one ever thinks about that, right?

[Marc] Well, you don't wanna think about that.

Or if you did, it's would be probably not

anywhere near as bad as it would be.

[Tomas] But you should, right?

You should think about it.

[Marc] Yeah, that would make sense.

[Tomas] In fact, what if,

I think they should make you get divorced first.

(Laughter)

- [Marc] Wow.

- [Tomas] And then,

if you can get through that,

then you can, then you can get married.

Then they'll give you a license.

[Marc] Oh, yeah.

Like, that's, you should write a book about that.

That's, that's quite a theory.

Or flip it on its head.

Like, who's that person gonna become

when you're like, happy and sh*t?

[Tomas] But you didn't.

Nobody would have anticipated this, right?

Mm-mm. No.

Like, you didn't know,

you don't know who the f*** your wife is.

No. No.

Oh, I mean, I guess you guys are divorced.

Yeah, but I don't know who the f*** I am right now.

I mean...

I don't know who the f*** you are,

but here we are.

What are you gonna do?

I don't know.

I could marry you.

You're proposing to me?

He bought an extra plane ticket for Sam to come with me,

which I thought was a little out of character,

but I was pleasantly surprised.

And then I f***ing get to the airport,

and he's called the f***ing cops,

and he's claiming that I'm trying to kidnap her.

Let's see, hold on.

[Cybil] Maybe we can get you an internet divorce.

Get a divorce first,

- and then, and then...

- Get a divorce first.

- And if you do that,

- And based on...

If you survive it,

if you're cool...

But what does surviving mean?

Oh, I mean.

Like, literally surviving.

Like, literally.

Like if you don't get shot.

Uh, that's a little too soon.

All right.

Oh, yeah.

Sorry. Sorry about that.

That was f***ing,

that was wow.

Yeah, I mean, I get it.

I'd f***ing love to shoot the woman who my husband is with.

That is an unpredictable, unconventional,

outside of the box way

to jail people together for weddings.

You know, she broke my heart.

Yeah, she broke mine too.

Just, just don't tell her.

You'll get me in trouble.

I won't get you in trouble.

You're a good guy.

Yeah, so are you, Tomas.

Thanks for, uh...

Well.

Here's to, uh... Good guys.

- To what?

- Good guys.

Here's to good guys.

Here's to good guys.

Here's to good guys!

Here's to good guys!

Good guys.

Good guys.

Eh, they're not listening.

- Never did.

- Mm-hm.

[Ike] I just became a minister online.

I literally just became a minister online.

I miss you.

Well, I miss you!

It's like, I want to go to sleep, but I can't.

You know what I mean?

Yeah. Yeah.

Well, because the nightmares suck.

You having nightmares?

Oh, yeah.

P*ssy.

(Laughter)

I got, I got four letters for you, soldier.

P-T-S-D, all right?

So don't...

Ooh, ooh, he's throwing out

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