7 Days in Hell Page #2

Synopsis: A "documentary" on the rivalry between an American tennis player, Aaron Williams (played by Andy Samberg), and an English tennis player, Charles Poole (Kit Harrington, of Game of Thrones fame). Focuses largely on the match where their rivalry reached a climax - Wimbledon 2001, 1st round - a match that took seven days...
Genre: Comedy, Sport
Director(s): Jake Szymanski
Production: HBO
 
IMDB:
7.1
Rotten Tomatoes:
80%
TV-MA
Year:
2015
43 min
1,612 Views


have a very special connection.

Two years after walking off

the court, Aaron Williams

finally resurfaced...

In Sweden, of all places...

To become the top of his game

once again at a new endeavor.

Uh, hmm?

Yeah?

Yeah.

"Den Swedish Hit Show."

No...

Here comes the guitar.

I don't think there's anyone in the world who

doesn't want to have sex with Aaron Williams.

With the success of his underwear line

and clearly not missing tennis at all,

it seemed Aaron had landed back on his feet,

but beneath him was again, black ice.

Aaron was hit with thousands

of malpractice lawsuits.

A Swedish judge ordered him to pay

$12 million in class action fines or

face a decade in Swedish jail.

The Swedish courtroom sketches

were just magnificent.

They looked like a wonderful Disney film.

Those remarkable sketches

were inspired by this man,

Jan Erik Eckland, a major

fan of Disney films

and a prominent Swedish courtroom

artist in the late 1950s.

Every courtroom artist coming

up after 1955 will tell you

they got in the game because

of Jan Erik Eckland.

Before Jan Erik Eckland, Swedish courtroom

sketches looked like any other courtroom sketch.

Jan Erik said, "I want to do something

different. I want to do something fun."

He comes along and turns the dull

settings into fantastical worlds

complete with anthropomorphic

animals and magical beings.

Jan Erik inspired courtroom

artists all over the world

and began a renaissance

of courtroom sketching.

And there are certain perks that come with

being at the forefront of your industry.

Jan Erik is driving fancy cars,

sleeping with gorgeous women.

He owns a biplane.

This guy was on top of the world.

The only thing left for Jan

Erik Eckland wasn't on Earth.

So he built this rocket ship.

He said, "I'm gonna find a new planet

with better food and prettier

women and crazier drugs."

The rocket blew up on launch.

So Aaron owed $12 million

to the Swedish government

and his inability to come up with the funds

led him into a pit of despair, AKA, PCP.

Boogie, boogie, boogie.

Nobody wants to end up in prison.

But if you do end up in prison,

Swedish prison's the way to go.

It's a lot like living in a very

modern home with mid-century finishes.

And once again, people assumed that was the

last they would ever hear of Aaron Williams.

So, Charles, you're now

number two in the world.

You're favored to win Wimbledon,

which would make you number one.

How do you do it?

Yeah, well, when I'm playing

I serve the ball and the man

opposite me on the other side of

the court, he plays it back to me.

Now, then I

try to hit to a place in the

court that he's not standing in anymore.

And if he manages to reach

that and play it back,

if it lands short, I run forward

and then I try and get it to another place

in the court that he's not standing anymore.

And sometimes it goes outside of these

lines on the side of the court.

And if that happens, the ump,

he shouts, "Out!"

And that's... that's very

bad if that happens to me.

But if it happens to the other

player, I really like that.

I understand how the game

of tennis is played.

I guess I meant, what's

your overall strategy?

Yeah, yeah.

Indubitably, yeah.

Okay.

You know, Charles, you...

you can't help but compare your

career to that of Aaron Williams.

And I think it's fair to

say there's been a debate

about who's the better player.

Would you say

it's you?

Yeah.

That sheepish comment unexpectedly

made it halfway around the world...

To an all-male orgy.

Would you say it's you?

Yeah.

And with a seemingly innocuous statement

that should have gone unnoticed...

- Yeah.

- Charles awoke a sleeping dragon.

Despite the escaped convict, Charles' fate

to be world number one seemed predetermined.

But would it come at the following Grand

Slam, on his home court at Wimbledon?

An Englishman hadn't won Wimbledon

since Fred Perry in 1937,

so there was tremendous pressure on

Charles to bring the trophy home.

I mean, can you imagine?

Yeah, thank you so much.

Yeah.

Yeah, goodbye, ma'am.

- That was the Queen.

- What did she want?

She wanted me to win.

With the weight of an

entire nation on his back,

Charles stepped up his

training to a diabolical level.

Winning the seven matches necessary

to bring the trophy home to England

seemed nothing more than protocol.

Until an unexpected guest showed up.

No one expected Aaron

to come back to tennis.

I mean, he got that awful tattoo.

No one pictured Aaron Williams

back on a tennis court

until a young PR man at the

All England Club had an idea.

The All England Club is allowed to

admit players through a wild card.

So I proposed we let Aaron play

for the press it would bring.

I did not like the proposal one bit.

The duke was furious upon hearing the name,

but cooler heads prevailed when I assured him

Aaron would lose badly

after not playing for years.

Not to mention we would have him lose to an

Englishman who was certain to humiliate him.

That Englishman was obviously

Charles Lloyd Poole.

Every tennis fan had been

dying for these two to play.

It was a guaranteed, epic match.

Not to mention all the trim it would bring.

The second they entered the stadium, all

the girls would just soak their socks.

Jesus.

Just moments ago, the first to walk onto Centre Court and

prepare to open play for this fortnight at Wimbledon...

Oh, my God.

He appears to be wearing

some kind of sleeveless,

denim button-down.

Pros are sponsored and given clothes.

Here's the problem, though.

No one wanted to give Aaron an endorsement

until Jordache decided to get in the game.

The spirit of Jordache

is one of experimentation.

If I dig that sh*t, I think the

customer's gonna dig that sh*t.

That white denim has to go down as

the all-time worst tennis outfit.

I liked his hair and he

looked good in the jeans.

End of story.

Look, in the first rounds of any tournament,

you have top-seeded guys playing low-ranked

guys and there's rarely a surprise.

And the start of the

Williams-Poole match

seemed to be going accordingly.

The guy was 30.

He hadn't played in years.

It looks like he's never

played tennis before.

The guy's just dying out there.

He looked like an old, faded drug addict.

Which is what he was.

Charles effortlessly destroyed Aaron

in the first set in an

unprecedented 21 minutes.

It was on course to be over soon.

But the weather had other plans.

Look! It's raining. We have to stop.

We have to stop. It's raining.

We'll have to continue this match tomorrow.

If you want to catch the end,

be sure to tune in on time

because it won't last long.

He played so bad, Jordache

pulled its sponsorship.

Thank God.

We lost a lot of money with that

endorsement, and I lost my job.

But I sell pianos now.

I f***ing love it.

The scoreboard said it all.

And the battle would

conclude the following day.

Or so we thought.

What happened the second day was

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Murray Miller

Murray Selig Miller (born December 2, 1976) is an American producer, writer and filmmaker. Miller has produced and written for many television programs, including King of the Hill (2006), American Dad! (2010), Girls (2013), 7 Days in Hell (2015), and Tour de Pharmacy (2017). more…

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Submitted on August 05, 2018

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