7 Days in Hell Page #3

nothing short of a miracle.

- Another winner from Aaron.

- Yeah!

- This guy has been totally reborn.

- It's like riding a bike.

It just clicked for him on that second day.

I couldn't see. Was it in?

Did it go in?

- Yeah.

- My point?

- Yeah, yeah, it went in. Your point.

- Okay, cool.

And that confidence gave him

a huge burst of energy.

It looks like Aaron's having some

fun with the line judge out there.

But others suspected that burst of energy was

from something much more illicit than confidence.

It was pretty obvious that he had

hidden cocaine in his water bottles...

and in his rackets...

and in his coke necklace.

And even on the lines of the court.

Seems crazy now, but you gotta remember

this is before cocaine was illegal.

- Cocaine was always illegal.

- Really?

Oh, we knew he was on cocaine.

It's just that in England it's

very rude to point things out.

Whatever the reason for Aaron's

sudden energy and inspiration...

It appears there's a bit of blood

on his wristband from his nose.

It led to arguably the

greatest tennis of his life.

The match was expected to end quickly.

But Aaron's rally extended the game,

leaving it tied at two sets each.

It would be the first match in

tennis history to go three days.

When I got in, there was a

message from the Queen.

Wow, the Queen of

England really wants you to win.

- How are you dealing with the pressure?

- Will you excuse me just... just for one second?

You're experiencing something

that is the optimum in tennis.

The following day began

at the crack of dawn.

And the play was again remarkable.

What? Come on!

How'd he get to that?

Unbelievable.

- Are you kidding me?

This is like nothing I've ever seen.

Spectacular!

Absolutely spectacular!

Oh, my God!

What? Come on!

I'm gonna go ahead and call that the

greatest point in tennis history.

In the fifth set of Wimbledon,

there's no tie break,

so you play until one man wins by two games,

be it 8-6, or 9-7,

or 10-8...

Or 11-9, for example.

They could theoretically

play forever, which is scary

for somebody like me who doesn't

much like watching tennis.

The match stretched on

for eight hours that day,

but neither side was able to claim victory.

On day four, Aaron came out

completely depleted.

Oh, Jesus Christ, easy.

His legs were like Jell-O,

just two little pudding pops.

He's collapsed like a baby deer.

No fight in his eyes.

- Out.

- But just when it seemed.

Aaron was on his last breath,

he was granted a gift from the gods.

Charles up a break, one point

awayfrom finally ending this.

And now this match has it all.

Ladies and gentlemen, we've got a streaker.

Looks like security has her now.

Seems Aaron wants to take care

of the situation himself.

He's holding his hand out

to calm the streaker.

He's made eye contact with her.

Whoa, whoa, what's going on down there?

Whatever he said to her

was quite the line, Chris.

What's he doing to her?

It appears that Aaron is now

copulating with the random streaker.

Is no one gonna stop this?

You'd think that a player would be disqualified

for having sex on the court for over four hours, but

really, there's no rule in the book about it.

So what could we do, but watch?

He went down on her for a solid hour at

least, the whole time high-fiving her.

It was like nothing I'd ever seen,

and I'm no stranger to adult films.

Whoo! That's what

I'm talking about.

Quiet on the court, please.

For Aaron, the streaker was a

life preserver in a sea of grass

and he clung to her for dear life -

until he could no longer hang on.

Are they clapping because

they're happy it's over

or are they proud of his work?

Hard to say, but it looks like we

might actually get back to tennis.

Whoo!

Spoke too soon.

We've got another streaker.

This one's a dude.

It appears Aaron is not

as happy to see this guy.

Oh, wait.

It looks like he's gonna bone him too.

They are having sex.

Well, if you need to stall, this

is definitely one way to do it.

They're letting out a harmonized moan now.

These guys are really in sync.

He... he came so hard,

it made a divot in the court.

Looks like they've finished up.

The female streaker has returned for more.

We've got three bodies, two of them naked.

Oh, I think I know

how this is gonna pan out.

And now Aaron is kissing

the female streaker.

And now, the male streaker.

And now he's making the two streakers kiss.

The lovemaking lasted until nightfall

and Aaron survived another day.

Good morning.

Before I get started, I just want to say

I'm not going to apologize

for the incidents in yesterday's match.

What happens between two or three people

on the Wimbledon courts is between them.

And it's natural and it's beautiful.

That out of the way, as many of you know,

I've spent years searching for the

true identity of my birth father.

I'm an orphan.

Adopted.

And...

I'm happy to announce

that today I have found him.

His name is England's own...

Engelbert Humperdinck.

And I'd like to hereby announce

that my performance in this match

will be dedicated to my native home

of Great Britain.

England's true son has returned!

Whoo!

See you on the court.

Look, we all know this,

tennis is a head game.

And it was a great move

to get in Charles' head.

I mean, the guy's whole identity

was based on being the only

British star in the sport.

And suddenly, Aaron had taken that from him.

Game, Williams.

Go, Britain!

He's a phony.

The crowd loves him.

I'm the one

who's English. Me.

Seems everyone's turned on Charles.

By this point the English

had bloody had it with Charles

and they truly believed Aaron was

a Humperdinck. A brother-in-arms.

But the abuse directed at Charles

didn't end with the angry spectators.

When he got back to his hotel, he was greeted

by a much more intimidating audience.

I'm British, eh!

Oh, my God!

Aaron Williams...

has been hit..

By a twuck.

Did something happen to Aaron Williams?

- He was hit by a truck.

- He was hit by a truck?

Oh, no.

You have two men competing

in a high-stakes match.

One of those men gets hit by a truck.

The other man...

is a licensed big-rig truck driver.

But somehow

no one thinks to accuse

the guy who's a truck driver.

I'm indubitably concerned about Aaron.

It'd be a great shame

if he couldn't play again,

and I advanced and my mum and

everyone liked me again.

No comment.

Against the advice of his doctors,

and anyone with eyeballs...

Aaron Williams checked himself out

of his hospital this afternoon

to continue his ludicrous,

now six-day match against Poole.

This is not something to miss.

Aaron's right-handed and his right

arm is completely shattered.

So it's like, okay, you want to

keep playing, but with what arm?

It appears Williams is now going to attempt

to continue this match with his left hand.

I mean, this is just

an exercise in stupidity now.

There's no way this works.

A left-handed ace?

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