7 seX 7

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Film by Irena koric

Cast

Director of photography

Editor

Original Music by

Screenwriter and director

Anything there?

Can you see anything?

A snowstorm.

- In the film?

- On the bloody screen!

F***ing analogue.

Why's it so bent?

- A swan.

- What bloody swan!

A black one. F***ing sits on the

antenna, heavier than a turkey.

- From Zagorje?

- Zagorje?

The turkey.

- Why don't you take it down?

- What?

The swan. With an airgun.

Because it's protected.

It's got a bullet-proof vest?

It's protected by law, dummy.

It's from the zoo.

So why isn't it there, then?

What the f***

it's doing on your roof?

I'll freeze my p*ssy off.

Because of the porno.

First of all - it isn't a porno.

Then what?

It's erotic.

What's the difference?

In penetration.

Is that something political,

that 'penetration'?

It was on the News.

F*** your High School diploma.

And what does this belong to?

To pneumonia.

I don't f***ing believe it!

Don't f***ing believe it!

Believe what?

The cold's made them harder

than when I'm horny!

That discovery's

worth a Nobel Prize!

That's why they rub ice on the

b*obs in porn flicks.

What about the guys?

Who the f*** looks

at the guy's b*obs??!

I mean if they rub it

with ice to stiffen it up.

Where're you going?

To jump off the roof.

Wanna check if

the picture's better first?

Only you and those Partisans

on the third floor...

What?

Have analogue. Why...

'Cause I'm not giving

F*** the corporate capitalists!

Stop shouting, they'll hear you.

That's a Telecom antenna there!

It's not a f***ing

listening device.

What do you know?

You haven't a clue about this

antenna, let alone that big one.

Can't you copy it

somewhere else?

Like where?

In the Archives.

The archives?!

The Croatian Archives.

Or get it from Internet.

I downloaded Emmanuelle 3,

and it f***ing cost me

as if I'd had her live.

And VHS on eBay?

of the auction, plus customs.

By the end it costs

you up to a grand!

How come so much?!

If you copy it direct on VHS.

Copied on VHS from DVD or

something, it's not worth a toss.

That's why I've got to copy it

this evening. Get it?

No.

Only we get it.

Who's 'we'?

Us from WEMBFTC.

What the f***'s that?

The World Emmanuelle

Boys First Time Club.

A secret brotherhood of boys

who had their first wank

with Emmanuelle on VHS.

You're total idiots.

What about Torrent?

I don't want f***ing Torrent and

f***ing DIVX. I want it on VHS.

DVDs last only 5 years, but VHS

cassettes last at least 30.

But will your player still be

working in 30 years?

Sure.

If you're thinking

of turning me on that way...

No, I'm not.

Then why are you doing it?

To see which way

the wind's blowing.

The wind's got nothing

to do with the signal.

It has with pissing.

I don't want to piss on my legs.

What?!

Why don't you go to the loo?

- Do you want to show me?

- Go down into the flat.

I won't make it.

What if the roof leaks?

Why would it leak?

'Cause it's f***ing thin!

Socialist construction!

At least your neighbours

won't bother you!

It's not going to leak on them!

So it's okay if it leaks on me?

F***ing turn-on!

Lying on my couch and it drips

from the ceiling into my eye!

You've got no imagination!

No bloody imagination!

Analogue a**hole.

- What?!

- You heard what I said.

I think someone's looking

at me from that roof.

With binoculars.

It's the guy from the zoo.

He's not looking at you but the

swan's probably gone off again.

I'm not so sure.

You know what he's doing now?

What?

He's gone behind the chimney

to have a wank.

When you're ready,

can you hold the antenna?

Yes, I can.

And I can stick it up your ass.

Maybe we'll get a signal.

Why are you so f***ing rude?

Because that guy gets a hard on

for me from a kilometre away,

and you don't from

just two metres.

Gloria, you don't get it.

I now have a greater purpose.

Us guys are a species

that sometimes have a mission.

And there are two types of

chicks, those who understand

the male mission

and those who don't.

Got it.

Maybe that voyeur's

had a heart attack.

You know, I have to

tell you something.

I lied.

The picture

downstairs is perfect.

Stop it. You said it

was just a tryout.

I need to fix my make-up.

Has anyone told you

how irritating you are?

And without a digital camera?!

You're a lousy actor.

So how are you

going to photoshop it?

I'm not.

Don't sh*t me.

You've got beautiful eyes.

You've got a good lens.

You've got good legs.

- Eh, you know what?

- What?

I've just remembered something.

You have a memory?

In Film History,

we learned that actors

were lit with as many lights

as possible.

Since when do actors

learn about film history?!

Bette Davis, hellooo?

Oh, so you've heard about films

from before the digital era?

More lights, baby!

More lights!

This is for an exhibition.

And where's the fan?

This is f***ing art.

F*** the fan, for f***'s sake.

Hey, unbutton your blouse.

No nudity.

And you used to say:

Anything for Art.

Okay then, I can do it in a bra.

You won't be naked.

You mean, I can get dressed?

No, you'll have some sellotape.

What, black sellotape?

That's it... Black crosses.

Are you sniffing again?

Sod off. I haven't got

the money for that.

I know, the soaps

have f***ed you over.

So says the queen of soaps.

Just one more

and I'll be a movie star.

So... the crosses?

Huh?!

Haven't you heard of Vogue?

Course I have.

Wait...

Come here.

So, what do you say?

If this dumb b*tch

can do it, so can I...

That's good one.

Yes.

That's great.

Yes.

Can you lie down so I get you

from another angle?

Hang on, move off!

You're texting on set?!

You've ruined my hair!

I've got more black

tape if you need it.

- I've got to go!

- What?!

Gotta go!

I'll take you with a Polaroid

to punish you.

I said I didn't want analogue.

What's so urgent that you can't

tell me over the phone?

I'm up to my neck in sh*t.

I love your new flat.

Minimalism.

It's not mine. I'm renting it,

until the b*tch leaves my flat.

Josip?

What Josip?!

The troll from the gas board.

You introduced

him to me as your b*tch.

He's no longer my b*tch,

but someone else's.

He'll never read my meter again.

They can send

someone else for all I care.

You've got a dog?

Are you crazy?!

I faint at 'Lassie Come Home'.

So who's the b*tch, then?

Katica Bergen. An interior desi-

gner. She's designing my flat.

The b*tch treats me like

she's paying me and not me her.

So what's so urgent?

The deadline's in half an hour.

For what?

For my career.

Pixie!

So what?!

It was my first title role!

What title role? You were

Pixie in 'Dixie's home'.

So bloody what! Is a streetcar

the lead in

'A Streetcar Named Desire'?!

What about the casting

for that Macedonian relish?

You mixed it up.

I got hooked on that relish

when I was visiting Skopje.

But this was for Samobor relish.

I was on the short list until

I threw up over the director.

At the end of the ad, I had to

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