8 Heads in a Duffel Bag Page #5

in the country

So what?

So it could save you

a lot of troubles is so what!

You go on a killing spree here,

Big Sep's gonna hear about it

When a couple of gangsters die

nobody cares

But you blow away professors

Big Sep's gonna read about that

Big Sep don't read

Still, this cryonics facility

has hundreds of frozen bodies

Why they got hundreds of frozen bodies?

- I think for situations like this

- Don't be a little smart ass

They have them because people are hoping

that in a couple hundred years...

maybe they can bring them back to life,

clone them a healthy body

- Are you jerking me around?

- What?

Oh, my God, he just put welts and bruises

over 90% of my body, now you're talking...

about having me help you decapitate some

professors. Would I be jerking you around?

Calm down, tough guy.

What are you trying to tell me?

I'm trying to tell you that right across campus

is a gold mine of heads

Heads R Us. Night of a Thousand Heads.

If I was a guy in desperate need of a head,

as you are, I'd at least check it out

Senor, I can't find your jeep anywhere

What do you mean you can't find it?

It's red, rojo

Oh, my God. I forgot.

We, we went for a drive last night

and... it got stolen

You forgot it was stolen?

Well, we...

This is ridiculous! How the hell

are we going to get out of here?

It's not a problem, senor

take a plane

Oh, a plane! A plane!

And where would we take a plane from?

Here. Since you've been away, senor,

this has become a very important city

I mean we have built our own airport

- A plane comes every day

- Well, aren't we lucky?

Now, that's a Hugo

- This one's good?

- For Hugo Porter, unbelievable!

All right, we got a keeper!

- What was that?

- Thawing it out

No way

Good God! Look at that!

Lassie, sit girl! Stay!

Oh my God!

Oh my God!

Guys! Ernie!

- What?

- I'm not very comfortable, perhaps

Why is that?

We're messing with

people's immortality here. It's murder!

Technically, it's not murder, Steve

because they're already dead

No, these people,

they believed in the freezing thing

All right, this is like grave robbing,

grave robbing, or worse

I don't see any graves.

Do you see any graves?

There's gonna be two fresh ones, if you

two don't start looking for heads, come on

All right

- Sir, I'm really sorry about the Jeep

- It's open seating

Now you take these tickets

and you check in the big stuff

We'll take the little stuff,

and we'll go get the seats

Do you think you can handle that?

Yes, I really appreciate you...

Come on, Bear. Come here

God!

Permiso, senor,

do you have anything to declare?

Any fruits, vegetables, native plants?

Are you kidding?

Sobrino! Sobrino!

Mira!

Mira! Que es eso?

No se, mira como esta aqui

Excuse me, could you

handle me my bag, please?

- Un momento, senor

- I don't have un momento!

I have a plane-o to catch-o, got it?

- Machete?

- No, sera una pistola?

Excuse me, it's right there, I can see it

I'll just reach in and get it myself, okay?

Senor... no. No, Senor!

What? Is it dad?

What?

They found two heads in Dad's carry-on

Oh, no!

Put me down! Put me down!

Oh, my God!

Help me! Help me!

Oh, my God!

- Decent, hold this one

- Yeah, wait. Do you need a Helen?

No, you can play with her when I leave

Get over there

- This guy do anything for you?

- He's not bad either

Could be a Stu

- Yeah?

- Yeah

We could beat him a little bit

give him a few cuts

Random disfigurement

Yeah, definitely a Stu

Worth a try anyway.

I'll take him and I'll take him

- Great, I'll wrap them up

- What do you mean take? Huh?

You know, for a future doctor

you're a pretty stupid kid

I mean take the heads

No, No

No, no way! You do it!

This is your crazy idea, okay?

It's my idea that you should do it

But, he's a neurologist,

I'm only going into dermatology

So don't screw up the skin

Now there's a pleasant sound

Mr. Escobedo, this is my mother,

Annette, Charlie and Fran Bennett

Dad's mom. She flew down to help us out

Nona, this is Dad's Mexican lawyer

- Delighted

- Charmed

Now, cut the crap and

tell us what the hell's going on!

Certainly

Miamigos, in your country

you have what you call

the good news and the bad news

The good news is that Mr. Bennet

underwent only very mild torture

- Jesus!

- Oh my God!

Shut up, you poodle. What's the bad news?

He confessed and was sentenced to death

- Oh my God!

- That little weakling!

Oh, Mom!

- Wait a minute. Don't get upset yet

- Not get upset?

Let the man speak, damn it!

There are remedies here.

This is a civilized country

There's going to be a trial

some sort of hearing

Of course. When my partner arrives,

we will formulate our strategy

Until then, try to relax

It's a beautiful day. Enjoy Mexico

I can't belive it

Things get a little rough and he cracks

- Nona, they tortured him

- Oh, what?

A little castor oil down his gullet?

A little electricity on his dillywacker?

Cat piss!

I am spent!

Chopping off heads just takes it out of you

Sh*t!

Time to go, I got four heads

I'm screwed

But you got a good start

I'm sure one of those heads

in there will do for the one Charlie lost

I doubt it, the way

my luck's running today, kid

Let's take a second and

take stock of where we are so far

Let me tell you something, kid, okay?

Just so you know,

I gotta kill the both of you

So don't think by helping me

it's gonna change that, all right?

Yeah, I know, sure, I'm just

saying that you're doing all right

you might be better off than you think

Okay, but I'm just saying too

I want you to know

Okay, let's see. I got a Hugo, a Marty,

a so-so Stu, and a bad Frank

Right, and then at the morgue,

you said something about Little Joey

- Right

- Okay

All right, so I got Little Joey,

a Hugo, a Marty, and a bad Frank

- No, where's Stu?

- I said Stu, so-so Stu

No, just a second ago, you said Little Joey

I know I said little Joey

but I also said Stu

But then where's Frank?

All right, let's start over

You got a Hugo... a Little Joey...

- a Frank...

- Yeah

- A bad Stu...

- No... Frank... bad Frank

That's what I said

No, you didn't, you said bad Stu,

Stu was just so-so

No, sir, I said a so-so Stu

You did not. You said bad Stu

Yes, I said. Everyone heard

I said so-so Stu

You said bad Stu!

I know their names and you don't

Will you two stop it! Goddamnit!

These are not baseball cards

we're talking about here, all right?

These are heads, human beings' heads

Where were we?

- I said we have a Hugo

- Yes

Ho, ho, wait a minute, just a sec.

I can't believe I didn't notice this before

What?

With some black hair and a busted

nose, this kid makes a decent Frank

- What?

- Yeah

I mean I know you're a little young,

but with that stubble

- a couple of missing teeth

- But you have a Frank

I got a bad Frank,

you make a better one

But you don't even know

if you need a Frank!

- I might

- Please no, please, no

Listen, please, no, listen

I don't want any trouble

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