8 Heads in a Duffel Bag Page #4

Bear?

- Wooly, are we alone?

- Yeah, we're alone, but where are you?

Wooly!

- What are you doing there?

- Wooly! Thank God Thank God you're alive!

Still alive? Of course I'm still alive

Where's Laurie? Not with him,

oh my God! Not with that maniac!

Calm down and tell me what

you're talking about

What I'm talking about?

Our daughter is dating a mass murderer

I went into his room

to take a gift to put it in his bag

In his bag he's got body parts!

Senora Bennett, I sorry to scare you

I was fixing the gutter

Dick, I am not crazy!

I know what I saw!

- I believe you

- No, you don't believe me

Yes, I do believe you, but remember

what the doctor said about your drinking

- I did not hallucinate

- Bear

I had the drink after I saw them

Please, Wooly

Bear, what about the pills?

I saw you take them, you said yourself

they made you woosy

Right, but then what about the bag?

Okay... where's the bag?

I don't know, but I was in his room

when he unpacked

He unpacked right in front of me

would a maniac do that?

Oh, no! Oh, no!

No, no, no, no

It's not my room!

It's not my room!

It is my room, okay

- Senor?

- What?

- We clean room

- What?

- Room clean

- Oh no!

Hola

- Oh! I am...

- Paco?

No... I'm... blind... I'm blind

I mean, I mean, you're blind...

I'm a guest and I forgot something

- Adios

- Adios

- I draw the line on mass graves

- Mass graves?

You know, maybe we should just do

individuals, seven of them, you know?

This reminds me of when

I was a kid, I was thirteen years old

Me and my friends used to

rip the heads off Barbie dolls...

and burry them

in the mud in the backyard

- You used to rip the...

- Hola, amigos

Find any buried treasures, gringos?

We have laws about these deserts

They are environmentally protected now

you know

- Actually, no, we didn't know

- Si, si

We got protected snakes,

protected lizards

protected toads

Are you familiar with the

Mexican horny toad, chiquita?

- Oh, no

- Oh, yeah!

Mexican horny toad is a very special species

It's against the law

to hurt a horny toad in any way...

Oh! You just hurt a horny toad!

Laurie

Whoa, come on, amigos. Vamanos!

- Are you all right?

- Yeah

No, sh*t! They stole my car!

Go get them!

- Senor

- Dick is going to kill me

I want you to stay here at your hotel

- Okay

- You're much safer here

- Okay, thank you

- Thank you

Thank you, sir

- Senor, you forgot your bag

- Thank you, thank you, sir

Thank you, good night

Well, that went well

- Charlie! I got it! Fed Ex it!

- What?

Fed Ex them to Steve!

Fed Ex them? Laurie, we're in Mexico

there is no Fed Ex

Well, then, Mex Ex them, I don't care

the point is just ship them!

And just let Steve innocently

open a package full of heads?

Of course not, we'll call him

All right boys, I'd like

to do this forever but...

I'm sorry, I don't know what else to do

You know?

I think it's time that I got rid of you two and

moved along. Come on, come over here

What? You, you can't just kill us

We're trying, all right? We're trying...

Trying? What are you talking about? What

does this look like the Special Olympics?

I need the bag! Get over here

- Well, wait...

- Trying, sh*t, get down!

Listen, we can call more people or...

Yes, we can help, man

I don't know what to do

I can go through friends

Can I answer that?

It might be Charlie, all right?

Put it on speaker phone

- Hello?

- Steve

- Oh God!

- Oh, Charlie, thank God. Jesus!

Listen to me, you a**hole, you got my heads

and I want them back, you understand?

Who is this?

Never mind who this is

I want those heads!

Jesus Christ!

You're the guy from the airplane!

Charlie, listen, listen...

What does this look like, a family reunion?

Steve? What are you doing to Steve?

I'm killing him unless you

shut up and listen to me! Where are you?

I'm in Baja

I'm six hours south of San Diego

Listen to me. You meet me at the San Diego

airport and bring all 8 heads with you

San Diego airport? I'm

on vacation with my girlfriend's parents

Okay, okay, San Diego

You make sure you're there by six o'clock

if you ain't there, your buddies are history

- But what if I don't have all eight heads?

- What?

- I lost one

- You lost one?

You lost one?

How the hell could you lose one?

The maid got it

What do you mean a maid got it?

How the hell did a maid...

What, what do you mean?

What, which one did you lose?

I don't know!

Oh Jesus! I can't

believe this sh*t! I can't believe this sh*t!

Damn it!

What's happening?

I don't know

I don't think he's taking it too well

Charlie, listen. The guy is serious

he's not screwing around

He's a psycho, all right?

You gotta do what he says, all right?

- Are you there?

- Yes, yes

Yeah, listen to this

All right, bring the rest

and make sure you're there

Remember what I'm telling you now

you got it?

- Got it. Before you hang up though...

- What?

If you hurt my friends

you'll never get them

Charlie, what are you trying to do?

Are you threatening me?

No, I'm just telling you a fact...

and don't lose my book either

It's my only copy

Charlie

All right! All right! All right!

Forget the book, I'll be there

Yeah, you better

What's happening?

We have to go back to San Diego

San Diego? My dad will sh*t himself!

What are we going to tell him?

What to you mean he

forgot to turn in his lap report?

- I know it sounds flaky and...

- Flaky? It's ridiculous!

You mean he came all the way

to Mexico without turning in a report

and for that we have to go home?

Mom is sick

and anyway it's your fault

My fault?

He took your advice

He's decided on something

Well, he's decided that he'll never be

a member of this family, that's for sure

- We're leaving

- How did he take it?

It's gonna have to fall under

the category of blessing in disguise

I'll make it up to him

I'll give him a year of free analysis

- Cute. Here

- What's this?

It's a surprise for his birthday

He likes his macho stuff

Can you pack it in your bag?

I don't want him to see it

Where exactly would you suggest I put it?

- If we're going, let's get going

- Right, dad

The shirt's for you. Get packing

And the macho

statue with all the disgusting...

Laundry

I didn't...

Thank you

Who's this guy? He might do

- Do for what?

- Hugo

Wait a minute

Are you telling us you're trying to

find a look alike for the head Charlie lost?

Yeah. We got some time to kill

before we go to the airport

Oh, my God!

But these are college professors!

You know, innocent people!

You can't just kill innocent people

because they look like someone else

Let me tell you something, college boy

nobody's innocent

Now, who is he?

He was my anatomy professor.

He almost flunked me

Good, here's your chance to get even

with the prick. Get me his address

Wait a minute! I just thought of something!

- What?

- Cryonics!

- Cry-what?

- Cryonics!

Frozen bodies! This university

has the biggest Cryonics Foundation

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