99 Homes Page #4

Yeah!

- It's a pretty place.

- Ah, it's OK.

I got it 18 months ago.

I'm gonna flip it after New Year's.

Let's have some Ben and Jerry's,

Cecilia, please.

What is this?

Did you make these?

What? Oh, it fell off.

The AC's been out for two hours.

Through there to the left

there's a leak. You'll see it.

- Do they fly?

- No.

- This is Richard Carver.

- 'Adjustable rate mortgage, cocksucker!

- 'I'm homeless, you motherf***er!'

- Stop calling me, you freak.

'I'm gonna call you every goddamn day

'to remind you

what a piece of sh*t you are.'

They called here two days ago.

I don't wanna change

our phone number again.

Come on, boo. I got you and your mum

a week at the Corazon Spa in the Keys.

I want you to enjoy yourself.

- What?

- I should divorce you.

We'd lose on taxes.

And you'd miss me.

You'd miss your little Richie,

wouldn't you?

- What are you doing?

- I'm all done.

Give the coils five minutes to dry,

but then you got cold air.

- It's not even been an hour.

- I salvaged your ceiling with mud.

I didn't want to tear up that dry wall.

I found some paint in your garage

so I just patched that up too.

Well, unless you're planning

on taking a swim, let's go.

- What do you see out there?

- I see homes.

I just saw nine opportunities

to make money in the last five blocks.

Three properties without mailboxes

and one with an overgrown lawn

and no car in the drive,

two with white signs in the windows

and three with shiny new doorknobs.

If you can get attuned

to seeing those kinds of opportunities,

you can get up off your hands and knees

and really start working for me.

I can work.

You've seen me all week.

Yeah, I know you worked for good crews

with Rick Kirby, Chris Camilleri, right?

But the unfortunate thing is,

they're out of business.

Cos they build homes.

I own homes.

You know what I am? I'm a man

who owns a hell of a lot of properties.

You can be a part of that,

but it's a hell of a responsibility.

What I need to know

is that I have someone

who can handle any situation

I want to walk away from, 24/7.

I don't care

if your kid's in the school play,

it's Christmas,

you lined up

the best damn blowj*b in Orlando,

when you work for me, you're mine.

What the hell?

Call office.

You see that?

The cable and the hose?

- I see it.

- 'Rick Carver Realty.'

I got some jack wagon

at 3505 Ridgeway

stealing water and power

from 3509 Ridgeway.

Call up the county court website,

find out if he's in default.

- 'Yes, sir.'

- Quickly, please. I'm at his house now.

'You got it.'

You know how to shoot, right?

I'll run a background check

so you can carry a concealed weapon.

Go on.

Are you f***ing with me?

Surly homeowners.

You're gonna need it.

I'm not... No, I'm good.

Suit yourself.

The person on the other side of the door

doesn't always feel that way, trust me.

See? They can feed their Rottweiler,

but they can't pay for their house.

Mm-hm.

Frank Greene. All right, let's go.

Mr Frank Greene?

- Yeah.

- I'm Rick Carver.

- You're stealing from me.

- You mean the extension cord.

Yeah, that property next door belongs

to Fannie Mae. I represent it for them.

So you're not just stealing from me,

you're stealing from the US government.

I'm with Frank Greene now.

What have you got for me?

Remove the lines.

I saw you at the foreclosure court.

Our boys go to the same school.

They were playing with the globe.

- Oh, yeah.

- I had my show-cause hearing.

- What happened with you?

- I lost.

Got evicted,

living in a motel right now.

What are you doing with him?

I got to work, you know.

He offered me a job.

I usually do construction, but...

it's been dry for the last however long.

- You know, this ain't what I do.

- This isn't me either.

I was a manager,

Custom Cabinets and Lighting.

Lost my job two years ago. Two.

I'm not a thief.

I know.

I've been researching

on the internet, public libraries.

I'm gonna save my house.

I hope you do.

Custom Cabinets?

Yeah, I installed your stuff.

- Oh, yeah. A bunch of times.

- Hey, Dad.

- Yes?

- The TV turned off.

OK.

You know my boy?

Connor? Connor Nash?

Yes, sir.

Yeah, thanks.

Looks like the Bank of Greater Santa Fe

filed for final judgment of foreclosure.

My money says the judge has me back

for your eviction in less than 90 days.

I took down the extension cords

and the hose.

I shouldn't have done that.

I apologise.

- It's OK.

- No, I assure you, stealing is not OK.

Mr Nash will be talking

to your neighbours personally.

If we receive any reports

or if we drive by and see you

stealing my water and power again,

the next visit's

from the Sheriff's Department.

Understand me?

- Yes, sir.

- Good day.

Nash, come on.

Don't be soft.

They all got a sob story.

But the law's the law.

That's the side you're on.

You should be smart enough

to know the outcome of this situation.

So toughen up.

I'm evicting a hedge-fund manager

out of here in two weeks.

Keep your mouth shut

and your eyes open

and maybe you'll learn something

this time.

I'll take the Moder sconces,

the chandelier,

the Haleakala marble,

Harwood cabinets,

range, Sub-Zero.

- What about the microwave?

- I don't need a microwave.

Three grand and you gotta

be out in two weeks.

- How about five?

- Four.

And Dennis here will get right to it.

Done.

The screws are right on in there.

Pop 'em right out, OK?

Yup.

Install everything, patch the tiles,

caulk the cabinets.

Connect the gas line

when you bring in the appliances.

- All this in here now?

- I'm selling this home for Fannie Mae.

I can't do that

if it doesn't have a kitchen, can I?

No.

So, who just paid me $33,000

for new cabinets, appliances

and a counter top plus labour?

- Fannie Mae.

- Fannie Mae.

Congratulations.

You just f***ed the government.

- Mr Nash?

- Yeah.

If you're interested, let me know.

If not, you can use this

to take your kid to Disney World

and get yourself a job

Migueling Cinderella's castle.

I don't give a sh*t about the government.

They ain't never done

nothing for me, so...

That's a lot of money

you just gave me.

Feels a bit like trouble.

You done honest work

your whole life building homes.

What did that get you

but me knocking at your door?

Are we stealing? Is this stealing?

Well, in 2006 you borrowed $85,000

against your home

and never paid it back, Nash.

- You telling me that's not stealing?

- What? Are you serious?

That's not stealing,

that's me taking a loan.

That's me working my arse off

to pay back that loan.

I wanted to pay it back.

I didn't steal.

That's not how the banks see it

or the taxpayers paying for the bail-out.

You think I bought a Porsche? No.

I invested every cent I borrowed

into construction equipment

so that I could pay back that loan

and put a roof over my family's head,

put food in my kid's mouth.

The economy crashed.

I can't predict the weather.

I can.

I'm a Doppler f***ing radar.

You took something you didn't give back.

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