A Boyfriend for My Wife
-Hello.
-Hi.
-Have you rung?
-No.
No. Well, yes, l rang,
but they told me to wait till
you arrived.
-Ah, OK. Well, l'm here now.
-Right.
Well, tell me, what brings you here?
-What?
-You yawned.
Hello?
Hi. No, no, no, no,
tell me,
l'm not doing anything much.
Yes.
Good morning.
-Good morning.
-Hello, l just said hello, Tenso.
OK, l didn't hear you.
-What?
-Good God.
-Don't smoke.
-Leave off, will you?
-lt's still early.
-Yes, it's still early.
Great! l'm really off
to a shitty start today.
lsn't there one lighter in
this house that works properly?
l don't believe it.
Do you know one of the things
l hate most in this world?
l can't bear coincidence seekers.
They get on my nerves.
You know, people who are always
looking for bloody coincidences.
Just yesterday the girl from 2B
asked me what sign l was.
Just yesterday the girl from 2B
asked me what sign l was.
What sign am l? But don't you know me?
As if you cared.
Sagittarius, l said.
''Ah, when were you born?''
Hey, l don't believe it!
She says:
''A friendwas born on the 11th''. So?
l don't get it.
What the f*** do l care?
So you've got a friend who was born
two days later.
Excuse me.
Stupid b*tch. Brothers, sisters,
she says.
Yes, l said.
Brother or sister?
Sister. l have a sister. Why?
So you or your friend have a sister?
Some coincidence?
ls the earth about to move?
What's going to happen?
Younger or older than you, she asks.
l've got a twin sister.
What do you make of that?
Some f***in' coincidence!
Don't you
think it's a coincidence?
What's the plan? To have me locked up?
Careful.
-No, no, l was taking it off.
-Drive me mad,
until my brain rots whenever
l enter the building?
You knowthose people who talk
and talk and talk?
As if a coincidence could
bring us closer together,
so we can talk about things
together, or something.
But she'sjust a neighbour.
The woman from 2B.
l don't want to talk.
She just lives
in the same building.
The old cow's probably up there
listening to us right now.
l reckon you're winding yourself
up, Tana.
-What's that?
-Uh?
What you've got there, what is it?
l don't believe you're still spending
money on the agent.
l don't believe you're still spending
money on the agent.
What did you get him? Silk
handkerchiefs, some nice socks?
What sort of present can you
give an agent?
OK, no problem, sorry.
Sorry, sorry, sorry.
Some people live
from official shady dealings...
Some people live
from official shady dealings...
and nobody says a thing.
-l think he's horrendous. Sorry.
-But he's a friend of mine.
l know, so l said sorry.
-We're going to his party Saturday.
-So we're going...?
-Yes, what's up?
-Great!
To hear a first-time mum
talk about baby poo.
lt'll be great. Wonderful.
-Come on.
-Fine.
There's a new radio station
round here.
-A load of arseholes.
-Why not go and see?
-No, no.
-Perhaps they need people?
-l've no time, Tenso.
-But...
-Piss off.
-Tana?
-Hello.
-Listen...
to watch, it doesn't...
to watch, it doesn't...
-Tana...
-l can'tswitch channels, nothing...
l'm seeing the same thing
allafternoon...
-Okay, okay.
Shitty thing...
By the way,
l've been thinking...
l mean it, really.
Firstofall...
l mean it, really.
Firstofall...
-because l've notgota thing to wear.
-Tana...
But even ifl had l don't want
to go.
l've got nothing in common with them.
lfl don't talkl'm left looking
like a prat.
So when do you plan
to call your daughter?
l rang 3 times today
and she couldn't speak.
First she was with the masseuse,
then she was in the shower.
And the next time she'd gone out.
What do you say to that?
l reckon that
since her husband was made manager...
he thinks we are not good enough.
He won't lether talk.
He doesn't let her.
That's not how we brought her up.
Not to worryabout us?
Come on!
What l'd like to know is
how much he's on now he's a manager.
They're spending too much.
No saving going on there.
She was going on and on.
So l go into the bathroom,
and she puts her hand here,
and l felt so mad...
and she puts her hand here,
and l felt so mad...
l just flipped and said
l'd like to kill you!
-Sorry...
-What are you doing?
-No, no, l'm sorry...
-You almost killed him.
-Go and see a shrink, kid.
-l don't like shrinks.
-And why don't you...?
-No, no... l want to...
-but it scares me.
-You feel guilty?
-No, not guilty. Scared.
-Go on.
-Carry on, arsehole!
-Get off my back!
-l swear it, l can't.
-Look. Do it with your back to her.
-l swear it, l can't.
-Look. Do it with your back to her.
You need to split up.
Just look at yourself.
l don't want to.
l'm in a bad way.
Three words, Tenso.
Just three words.
l, 1 . Want, 2. Out, 3.
lf you can't say it, it's because
you're a coward,
But tell her, otherwise
you'll be in a really bad way.
But tell her, otherwise
you'll be in a really bad way.
-Try it on me. Come on.
-Uh?
-Try it on me.
-What?
-Three little words, come on.
-No, sod off.
-Come on.
-Just do it.
-What?
-Come here.
l want out.
That's it, great, great!
Tenso, be strong.
Marriage is like a job.
Tenso, be strong.
Marriage is like a job.
That l want to resign from.
You need a change of routine.
To stop doing... what you always do.
When you get home,
what do you do?
When you get home,
what do you do?
-l put my pyjamas on.
-Don't do it.
-l wash my hands.
-Don't wash them.
-Then l sit down to dinner.
-You don't put your pyjamas on,
you don't wash your hands,
and when dinner's ready...
you're not hungry.
You don't have dinner.
You stand up straight,
looking at the wall,
and you say the three words.
-l want out.
-And you go.
Be brave, Tenso.
l want out.
l want out.
l want out.
l want out!
l want out.
l want out.
l want out!
Hell, l want out.
We're not all stupid. They reckon
we're not idiots, but we are.
Howwas your day?
Know how much this bloody onion cost?
Any idea?
What's wrong?
Go and change, it's almost ready.
l'm not going to change.
-What?
-Whatyoujustheard.
Are you sure you're alright?
Yes.
OK, well go and sit up,
as it's almost ready.
l'm not hungry.
l made pasta.
-Tana, l want...
-Don't you want pasta, Tenso?
-lsn't it any good?
-Yes, it's good.
l was almostthere.
Work at a relationship,
otherwise it'll fade and die.
Work at a relationship,
otherwise it'll fade and die.
What you need kid is someone
like ''Cuervo'' Flores.
He knewwhat it was all about.
He was old school, he was.
He knewwhat it was all about.
He was old school, he was.
Real old school.
-Who's ''Cuervo Flores''?
-Who was... a phenomenon.
-A crook.
-A real talent, one of a kind.
-lt's in the genes with him.
-Yeah, but he caused a lot of harm.
No doubt. We couldn't
mention him at home.
Do you remember Susana Hoyos,
my cousin's wife?
With a name like that...
There was something about
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"A Boyfriend for My Wife" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 19 Dec. 2024. <https://www.scripts.com/script/a_boyfriend_for_my_wife_15004>.
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