A Boyfriend for My Wife Page #2

Cuervo Flores, in his eyes.

He was wild, a hunting dog.

He knew you had to seduce a woman...

by talking to her,

making her laugh.

Christ, he caused havoc round our way.

Christ, he caused havoc round our way.

Maybe Marito never attended to

his wife as he should.

Do you remember lndia,

Gaita's girlfriend?

Do you remember lndia,

Gaita's girlfriend?

He saw her

the day before the wedding...

and convinced her to party with him,

and she missed her own wedding.

He's got a thing about married women.

-l need someone like that.

-No, forget it.

He can't show his face round there now.

They've got it in for him.

Come on, Tenso!

Everything was horrible.

The house was horrible,

l don't knowwhy.

The neighbours were horrible, too.

And for some reason l wasn't

worth sh*t.

Basically there was something

l was never able to swallow...

ls that the right word, swallow?

Does it matter? ls it the right word?

Yes, it is, yes.

Swallow.

You could also say assimilate.

OK.

l prefer that.

Because that's the word.

Assimilate.

l've never been able to assimilate,

which to me was like a boot in the...

the fact she didn't like my friends.

That was really hard for me.

The fact she was always miserable

with my friends was...

-So l don't like your friends?

-Yes.

l have to like your friends,

to be with you?

-Don't you think?

-That's hard.

-Don't you think?

-That's hard.

ls it hard to... what is it?

What's the word...? Well, yes.

-That's enough.

-OK.

Did you ring?

Put your cigarette out.

Alright, l'll put it out.

-Tenso!

-l'm putting it out right now, see?

Someone's calling you from over there.

-Me?

-Yeah.

-Oh, God.

-What?

Well, we won't stay

too long. Just for a bit.

-Calm down, please.

-Good evening, welcome!

-Hello, hello.

-Come on in.

-Hi, happy birthday.

-Thanks.

-Come on...

-You can be so dumb.

That's it, come on in.

-How are you?

-Happy birthday.

Thanks, thanks.

-Happy birthday!

-Thanks.

-lsn't it great? A presentfrom Pao.

-Fantastic.

-What?

-What's wrong?

That's the thing nowadays, see?

Guys of 40 with girls of 25.

Lower your voice, please.

What's wrong with that girl?

Has she fallen in love with that agent?

Can't she fall in love with an agent?

Yes, love, yes.

-OK, pretend to talk... she's coming.

-Shut it.

-Hi...

-Hello. How are you?

-Fine, you?

-Fine.

Hi, how are you?

Macarena, my sister.

-Tenso, Tana...

-Wait, wait.

-What do you say?

-No, no, sit down.

Very well. l'm happy that l've finally

found a live-in help,

Very well. l'm happy that l've finally

found a live-in help,

to look after the baby.

So now l'm fine.

-So l'm fine.

-That's good.

-So l'm fine.

-That's good.

Sorry l couldn't get to the clinic.

Don't worry. No problem, Tana.

ls the baby well?

-ls he sleeping OK?

-She... it's a girl.

-She... Ah, a girl, right. A girl.

-Yes, she's a saint.

-Yes, she's a saint, you can't imagine.

-Really?

Yes, except when she's got wind,

that makes her...

because she's constipated.

She's taken after me.

The whole family, just ask my sister,

we're all constipated.

l passed on my slow-transit gene,

poor thing.

-Yes, but now it's all runny, isn't it?

-Really?

Her nappy had some runny poo.

So l'm constantly having

to change her.

And l don't have much milk.

And l have to squeeze my...

And l don't have much milk.

And l have to squeeze my...

my... tit,

sorry, like an orange.

-What are you laughing at?

-l find it all amusing.

-But you have to experience it yourself.

-Yes, of course.

-Ah, but she's gorgeous, gorgeous.

-Do you have kids, Tana?

-No.

-No, we don't.

-And you, you're well?

-Yes, very well.

-Lovely. You're looking pretty.

-Thanks.

-So what do you do, Tana?

-What, what?

-What do you do?

-Nothing...

-But what's your thing?

-My thing?

-Your passion.

-My passion?

-None, l don't have a passion.

-But you do have a passion.

-No, l don't.

-Don't say you don't.

What's my passion?

-l don't have one. ls that so bad?

-No, it's great.

l'm not doing anything

at the moment either.

What sign are you, Tana?

-Sagittarius, why?

-Hey, l don't believe...!

l don't believe it!

My ex was Sagittarius.

l mean he is, he's not dead.

l have two very very good friends,

Gachi and Pachi,

both Sagittarius.

Tana, l don't believe it.

lt's amazing!

l don't believe it. lt's incredible,

you, your ex,

and Gachi and Pachi,

all Sagittarius.

-Right.

-Yes!

lt's amazing. Unbelievable.

Did you hear that, love?

Her, Gachi and Pachi and Laura,

and... her ex boyfriend...

-That was Lorena.

-Lorena... all Sagittarius.

lt's amazing.

That's too big a coincidence...

it sounds ridiculous, but

what a coincidence.

And there must be people here too...

Hey! everyone, excuse me...

Turn the music down, guys.

-Anybody born under Sagittarius here?

-Tana...

-Anybody born under Sagittarius here?

-Tana...

Cool it, love. l'm only asking,

Are you Sagittarius?

That's amazing.

Are you Sagittarius?

That's amazing.

Any more Sagittarius?

No? Only two?

Any more Sagittarius?

No? Only two?

OK, but it's still a load. There are

another two Sagittarius here too.

So it's... Gachi, Pachi, her,

her boyfriend, her ex boyfriend,

me and these two prats,

all Sagittarius.

lt's full of Sagittarius.

Amazing. Really. Fantastic.

Maybe that's a coincidence too,

Maybe that's a coincidence too,

and then we'll all...

-Everyone here will drop dead.

-Tana...

-We'll all freak out.

-Tana, get yourjacket.

-You can't imagine.

-Get yourjacket, we're leaving.

-Come on.

-No, no, no, hang on, hang on.

l feel like crying,

l don't feel well.

l feel really bad.

That was a dreadful scene.

lt's over, Tana.

No, it's not.

l made a total fool of myself.

And also...

-What?

-Come on, let's get out, Tana.

No! l feel really bad! Why?

And l had to apologise!

That cow looked like a slut!

l'm so angry.

l can't bear it!

-That's it!

-Come on!

What did you do, arsehole?

Where did you send it?

-Go for it, Tenso!

-Come on! lnto the net and goal!

Goal!

-Goal!

-Sorry, sorry.

Sorry. Keep your hair on, Gardel.

Have you never bungles one?

How did it go?

Guys?

Straight on, straight on.

To the east.

Just keep going...

-lt's here, isn't it? We've made it.

-Yes, there's the...

-We're going to be mugged here...

-No.

You'll see.

Well, let's wait.

Bloody cold, isn't it?

-What are we doing, Tenso?

-Take it easy.

-Yes.

-Take it easy, everything's OK.

Well...

-What's going on?

-l don't know...

What is it? What happened?

What?

He's coming... Look...

Anybody follow you?

Nobody.

-Did you leave me the note?

-Who else is in on this?

-Nobody at all.

-You... me and...

-Nobody else.

-Leave your things here.

Are you sure about what you're after?

Very sure.

Follow me.

-You OK?

-Yeah, why?

We have a problem with the guys.

-l don't like them.

-Hang on, Cuervo, hang on.

All you have to do is listen to him.

All you have to do is listen to him.

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