A Charlie Brown Valentine Page #3

Or if she were nothing and I were nothing,

then I could also talk to her.

But she's something and I'm nothing,

so I can't talk to her.

Linus:
For a nothing, Charlie Brown,

you're really something.

[scene fades to Charlie Brown and Linus in the classroom]

Charlie Brown:
There's that pretty Little Red-Haired Girl.

[Charlie Brown sighs]

Charlie Brown:
I wonder what would happen

if I walked over to her desk...

...put my arm around her,

and gave her a big kiss. (Charlie Brown Back to side flips off his seat) Wow!

Charlie Brown:
(back in his seat) I've gotta stop thinking like that.

Linus:
Girls like compliments.

If you want to impress

that Little Red-Haired Girl...

...say something nice to her.

Charlie Brown:
You look really cute today!!!

[off-screen crashing]

Linus:
That really impressed her, Charlie Brown.

She fell right out of her desk.

You've got to be more subtle,

Charlie Brown.

Charlie Brown:
If I wink, maybe she will notice me.

I'm not getting any distance.

[Teacher Mumbling]

[Charlie Brown gets out of his seat]

Linus:
Where are you going, Charlie Brown?

Charlie Brown:
The teacher wants me to see the nurse

about my eye.

She saw me winking

at the Little Red-Haired Girl.

She thinks something's wrong

with me eye.

[Charlie Brown exits]

[scene fades outside with Charlie Brown and Linus standing in front of a brick wall]

Linus:
Did you go to the eye doctor yesterday,

Charlie Brown?

Charlie Brown:
Yes. She said there's nothing wrong

with my eyes. They're fine.

Linus:
Did she tell you to stop winking at girls?

She said that's the first thing

they teach you in medical school.

[scene fades to Charlie Brown walking up to the psychiatrist stand where Lucy is]

Lucy:
Yes?

Charlie Brown:
Can you cure loneliness?

Lucy:
For a nickel, I can cure anything.

Charlie Brown:
Can you cure deep-down,

black-bottom-of-the-well...

...no-hope, end-of-the-world,

what's-the-use loneliness?

Lucy:
For the same nickel?!

Charlie Brown:
I just had a terrible thought.

What if the little red-haired girI gives me

a valentine and she really likes me?

But what if it turns out that I don't like her

as much as I thought I was going to?

How could I tell her?

How could I break up with her?

How could I leave her?

Lucy:
You're worried about leaving someone

you haven't even met?

Charlie Brown, you are hopeless,

completely hopeless.

Charlie Brown:
Maybe I could leave her now

and meet her later.

Lucy:
Good grief.

The doctor is no longer in.

[Lucy Covers the words “PSYCHIATRIST HELP 5c, THE DOCTOR IS IN” with valentine posters

Lucy:
Can I help you?

Charlie Brown:
I need a valentine

that will impress this Girl I like.

Lucy:
Then you'll want

this super-potent valentine.

Charlie Brown:
Potent?

Lucy:
It'll sweep her off her feet.

It'll knock her socks off.

Charlie Brown:
All right. I'll take it.

Lucy:
Good.

If you come around next Friday,

you can pick it up.

Charlie Brown:
Friday? Why can't I have it now?

Lucy:
It's too potent.

There's a five-day waiting period.

[scene fades to Charlie Brown in the classroom]

Charlie Brown:
I wonder what I can do to make

that Little Red-Haired Girl notice me.

Maybe if I walk around the room a bit,

I'll bet she notices me now.

[Pencil sharpener grinding]

Charlie Brown:
Especially after I get my sleeve caught

in the penciI sharpener.

If that Little Red-Haired Girl sees me

standing here...

...with my sleeve caught

in the penciI sharpener...

...she'll think I'm the dumbest person

in the world.

What I have to do is wriggle out of my shirt

but still look real cool.

[Charlie Brown TRIES to wriggle out of his shirt, but that just makes him fall to ground]

Girl 1:
Why do we have to stand in line

for everything?

Girl 2:
What's the hold up?

Boy 1:
Probably an overturned vehicle.

Boy 2:
Push him out of there.

Girl 3:
What's taking so long?

Charlie Brown:
I like a penciI with a fine point.

[scene cuts to Sally in the classroom]

Sally:
I don't think we should bother

with the valentine's box this year, ma'am.

I don't think my sweet babboo

would give me a valentine anyway.

Linus:
(off-screen) I am not your sweet babboo.

And how do you know I wouldn't give you

a valentine if I were your sweet babboo?

Which I am not.

Sally:
See the problem, ma'am?

[Teacher mumbling]

[Sally Walks over by the valentine box]

Sally:
Our teacher says we have to have

a valentine box. So here it is.

It's only for valentines.

The opening in the top is not large enough

for boxes of candy.

If your sweet babboo wants to give you

a box of candy...

...he'll have to give it to you elsewhere.

Linus:
(off-screen) I am not your sweet babboo...

...and you couldn't get me

within a hundred miles of elsewhere.

Sally:
All right. At ease out there.

Sally:
Our teacher has asked me to explain

how this valentine thing will work.

Each student will drop his or her valentine

into this box.

Please write all names clearly.

[Minutes Later, Sally took out two valentines]

Sally:
And now we're down

to the last two valentines.

This one is for my sweet babboo

and this one for the cutest of the cute.

Will the persons to whom

these beautiful valentines are addressed...

...please step forward?

Linus:
(off-screen) I went home!

[scene fades to Charlie Brown under his mailbox]

Charlie Brown:
This is perfect.

I'll just lie here in front of the mailbox

and watch all my valentines come in.

I'm surprised that no one else

has thought of doing this.

[Snoopy is reaveled he is in the mailbox]

Charlie Brown:
Get out of there.

How do you expect the mailman

to deliver valentines with you in there?

[Charlie Brown jumps inside the mailbox and stuck his head out]

Charlie Brown:
Sometimes, I don't think

this was such a good idea.

Fortunately, nothing worse can happen.

[Thunder rumbling]

[Thunder cracking]

[Rain pours down]

[scene fades to Charlie Brown outside eating lunch]

Charlie Brown:
Wouldn't it be something

if that Little Red-Haired Girl...

...came over here and gave me a kiss?

I'd say, "Thank you. What was that for?"

And wouldn't it be something if she said,

"Because I've always loved you"?

Then I'd give her a big hug

and she'd kiss me again.

Wouldn't that be something?

And wouldn't it be something if it turned

out that french fries were good for you?

She's handing valentines out

to all her friends.

She's handing them out one by one.

She's handing them out.

She's still handing them out.

Now she's all done.

That was the last one.

Now she's walking away.

Happy Valentine's Day.

[scene fades to Charlie Brown and Linus walking home from school]

Linus:
Don't give up, Charlie Brown.

Why don't you get her phone number

and call her...

...and invite her

to the Valentine's dance?

Charlie Brown:
I'm afraid she'd hang up on my face.

Linus:
That's the beauty of calling her

on the phone.

One ear is not a whole face.

[scene fades to Charlie Brown’s house, Charlie Brown is writing on an index card]

Charlie Brown:
Thank you, ma'am. There, I did it.

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