A Christmas Story Page #5

of the impenetrable BB gun web...

in which my mother had me trapped.

Santa!

Yeah, I'll ask Santa.

Of course! Santa.

The big man. The head honcho.

The connection.

My mother had slipped up this time.

Mickey!

The store's going to close soon

and Santa will be gone.

Ralphie, Santa's not going anyplace. Just be still!

Mom, this is just the same old dumb parade as last year.

Ralphie, will you please calm down.

Mom--

Hush!

Shut up, Ralphie!

There he is!

Santa!

Have you been a good boy? Have you?

Can we go now? Can we go?

Yes, we can go now.

Come on, Ralphie.

Merry Christmas!

Come on, Randy, hurry up.

Ralphie, look over there.

See, the line's not so long. Get in it.

Take Randy's hand and hold on to him. We'll see you later, okay?

Stay together, you hear? And don't get lost.

Come on.

Let's go.

Young man.

Hey, kid.

Just where do you think you're going?

We're going up to see Santa.

The line ends here. It begins there.

Merry Christmas!

Come on, come up, boys and girls.

Hurry up.

Come on.

The line waiting to see Santa stretched all the way back to Terre Haute!

And I was at the end of it.

I like Santa.

Let's face it. Most of us were scoffers.

Moments before zero hour, it did not pay to take chances.

The chocolate snowman eats little boys.

My pretty...

What a tasty little boy.

Don't bother me. I'm thinking.

I like The Wizard of Oz.

I like the Tin Man.

If Higbee thinks I'm working one minute past 9:00, he can kiss my foot.

Come on up on Santa's lap.

There's a wet one. And what's your name, little boy?

Billy.

Come on, Randy.

And what do you want for Christmas, Billy? A toy truck?

Get him off my lap.

Quick, get me a towel.

I hate the smell of tapioca.

Attention shoppers! It is now 9:00 and our store is closing.

9:
00! Great Scott! The store is gonna close!

Santa can't wait all night.

Come on up on Santa's lap.

Get moving, kid.

Quit dragging your feet.

Get him out of here.

Come on, kid.

Come on up.

And what's your name, little boy?

Hey, kid, hurry up, the store's closing!

Listen, little boy, we got a lot of people waiting here, so get going!

What do you want for Christmas, little boy?

My mind had gone blank.

Frantically I tried to remember what it was I wanted.

I was blowing it, blowing it.

How about a nice football?

Football. What's a football?

Without conscious will, my voice squeaked out:

Football.

Okay, get him out of here.

A football! Oh, no. What was I doing?

Wake up, stupid, wake up!

I want an official Red Ryder carbine-action 200-shot...

range model air rifle.

You'll shoot your eye out, kid.

Merry Christmas.

I'll see you in Oz, folks.

Well, did you see Santa Claus?

Did you tell him what you wanted for Christmas?

Did he ask you if you'd been a good boy all year?

No.

Don't worry, he knows.

He always knows.

Merry Christmas.

Okay, down you go.

Bye, Chris.

That's fine.

Now wait a minute. All right. Plug her in!

Well, the green string is out.

No, the green is on. It's the blue that's out.

Oh, don't tell me what color it is.

I'm not color blind.

I'm not color blind, either.

There, see, I told you it was green.

Hold it! Don't anybody move!

Hold it right there!

A fuse is out.

The old man could replace fuses quicker than a jackrabbit on a date.

He bought them by the gross.

Oh, Ralph.

My, isn't that pretty?

That son of a gun.

Yeah. No.

That star is crooked.

That star is perfectly straight.

Oh, you've got to be careful.

I am.

It's just... Let me get it fixed. That's all right.

Perfect.

Oh, goodness, look at the time.

I hope Santa hasn't had to pass up this house...

just because some boys weren't in bed when he came by.

I thought I heard Santa's sleigh bells...

a little while ago, going up the other side of the street.

All right, you two, upstairs.

Go on the double, on the double.

Okay, let's get them.

Randy, come on! Get up, Randy!

Santa Claus had come!

Wow! A truck! That's mine!

Wow, look over here! That's mine!

What's in here?

It's hard.

Fire truck. Oh boy, that's mine!

Does this raise?

Merry Christmas.

Merry Christmas, you two.

Randy, no. Wait for Christmas to start, honey.

I want to play Santa!

Well, wait a minute, Randy.

He played Santa last year, didn't he?

Ralphie, you play Santa this time.

Come on, Ralphie.

Who should I start with?

Well, give Randy a present.

And, I think I see Aunt Clara's gift to you right over there.

She always sends you such wonderful presents.

Give me mine, Ralphie! Come on.

Christmas had come. Officially. We plunged into the cornucopia...

quivering with desire and the ecstasy of unbridled avarice.

Didn't I get a tie this year?

A zeppelin!

A can of Simonize.

Ralphie, what did Aunt Clara give you? Show everybody.

I don't want to.

Ralphie, show everybody what Aunt Clara gave you.

Aunt Clara had for years labored under the delusion that...

I was not only perpetually four years old, but also a girl.

She just always gives you the nicest things, Ralphie.

Oh, isn't that sweet?

Ralph, go upstairs and try it on you--

I don't want to!

Go upstairs right now and try on that present!

She went to all that trouble to make it! Now go on.

While Ralphie is changing, I'm going to play Santa Claus.

Now, let me see what can I find.

I see something! Randy.

This is for you, honey.

And this is for Daddy.

Here.

From me to you.

Thanks a lot.

I wonder what it could be?

Only one way to find out, isn't there?

Well, it's a blue ball!

It's a bowling ball.

Thank you, darling.

Do you like it?

Yes, very much. Very much.

Ralphie.

We're waiting.

Oh, come on, Mom.

Right now!

Lmmediately my feet began to sweat as those two fluffy little bunnies...

with the blue button eyes stared sappily up at me.

Come down here so I can see you better.

I just hoped Flick would never spot them...

as the word of this humiliation could easily make life...

at Warren G. Harding School a veritable hell.

Isn't that cute?

That is the most precious thing I've ever seen in my life.

Shut up, Randy.

He looks like a deranged Easter bunny.

He does not!

He does, too.

He looks like a pink nightmare.

Are you happy wearing that?

Do you want to take it off?

You tell the kid to take it off.

You'll only wear it when Aunt Clara visits. Go on and take it off.

Take it off!

My God, will you look at that mess?

Who's going to clean the papers up?

Not me.

Randy did it last year.

Well, he can do it again.

You know, this wine is not bad. It's not good either, but...

You want a sip?

No, you don't.

Did you have a nice Christmas?

Yeah, pretty nice.

Did you get everything you wanted?

Well, almost.

Almost?

Well, that's life.

Well, there's always next Christmas.

That's funny.

What's that over there behind the desk?

Where?

Behind the desk, against the wall over there.

Why don't you go check it out?

What did we put over there, honey?

Santa Claus probably put it.

Oh, it was beautiful. I could hardly wait to try it out.

Rate this script:4.4 / 5 votes