A Christmas Story 2 Page #7

---

you'd forgotten about me.

I know.

I'm very sorry, sir.

You don't have it, do you?

- No, sir. Not all of it.

- I should've known.

But I tried, I really did.

And we all got jobs, and I earned

most of the money, but...

Those people needed the tire...

...and I tried to get them to order the family

special, but they all wanted la carte.

- You know how that adds up...

- Whoa, whoa, whoa.

You are one weird kid.

I've heard that, sir.

Ninety, 91, 92...

...93, 94.

Thirty-nine dollars and ninety-four cents.

- Is that it?

- I'll have the rest next month.

And if not, you can break my legs.

Or maybe one leg.

Skip it. You're done.

- I am?

- Yeah, merry "ho, ho," and all that.

You know? Spirit of the season.

- Thank you.

- I just sold that Merc, anyway.

Made out like a bandit.

The sucker never knew what hit him.

The thing is, you never let up.

And what did I tell you

about determination, huh?

It gets things done.

And it'll pay off big

for you one day, you'll see.

Now go on home, son.

And enjoy your family tomorrow.

Thank you, Mr. Catenhauser.

And merry Christmas.

Merry Christmas.

Made out like a bandit!

My car was gone.

I had nothing in my pocket but a hole.

And somehow, as I walked home

on that bone-chilling silent night...

...all was right with the world.

Yes!

Yes. A Martian police ship...

...form the Buck Rogers

Interplanetary Space Fleet!

Thank you, thank you!

I told you he'd like it.

And you wanted to get him socks.

Oh, boys, boys. Let's wait.

Let's do this right.

- Who wants to play Santa?

- Me! Me! I do! I do!

No. You did it last time

and you stank at it.

- Did not!

- Did too.

- Did not!

- Okay, okay, boys. Stop.

I'll play Santa. Shoo!

Go. Okay. Who goes first?

- Come on, Mom. Uh... Oh.

- Here, honey, this is for you.

- Me? Oh.

Oh-ho!

Oh.

I thought we could go back out.

You know what they say:

Lightning always strikes twice

in the same place.

They say that, do they?

- Thank you. Ha, ha.

- Let's see. Who's next? Oh.

Ralph, this is for you from Aunt Clara.

Oh, no.

"Oh, no" was right.

It was time for the annual

Aunt Clara humiliation fest.

Lord knows what sort

of degrading polyester nightmare...

...was in store for me this year.

Well, go on, open it.

She always gets you the nicest things.

- It's not funny, Randy.

- Yes, it is.

Oh, it's a sailor suit.

Is that just the cutest thing?

Good Lord.

Sweet Jesus.

Forget it, Mom.

I am not kidding,

I will join the foreign legion.

He's almost 16. Is she that deranged?

Oh, wait a minute.

This isn't for Ralphie.

Randy, she sent this to you.

No! No! No!

- Sailor boy!

- No! No.

No. No!

Boys. Boys.

- Ha-ha-ha.

- You're gonna look so good.

No.

That is too adorable for words.

I can think of a few.

- Where's the camera, honey?

- No. No!

- Wait'II these get around school.

- Ralphie, no!

Big smile.

Ah, another one come and gone, huh?

Not too shabby.

Nope. You guys get

everything you wanted?

I'd say so.

Pretty good haul, huh?

Hey, I think I just saw a rat

in the kitchen.

Okay, I'll call the exterminator.

Are you insane?

Do you know what they charge

on a holiday?

I smell a rat, all right.

Whoa.

- This is a Martian police ship.

- Oh.

Which holds an entire battalion

of tiger...

My God. It's risen from the grave.

Isn't it beautiful?

It's beautiful.

This is the greatest Christmas in history.

You see what Santa gave me?

Yeah, I'd like to thank him personally.

Look at her face.

Somebody take a photo.

Yeah, you know what, that's a good idea.

Why don't we all take a picture, huh?

Yeah. Everybody,

the three of you by the tree.

- Uh, Dad...

- Honey, I'm not dressed.

You look fine. One for the scrapbook.

Line up. Mom, you in the middle.

Come on, get in there.

That's it. Now, Ralphie,

move in a little bit.

A little more.

A little more.

Yes!

Thank you! Thank you!

That's the last we'll be seeing

of him for a while.

But, hey, you'll always

have me to bark at.

No fair, Ralphie got a car.

I want a real rocket ship.

Well, learn from this, Randy.

If you're as determined as Ralphie,

maybe one day you'll get one.

I guess that means no.

- That's right.

- Polish your leather...

...and polish your interior! Oh, my God!

This is the best Christmas ever!

The odometer read 132,000 miles.

Oil burned and valves leaked at will.

There were more rattles

than an lrish nursery.

It was the best car I ever owned.

In 43 days, I would turn

16 and be liberated.

No longer bound by gravity,

but free, fluid...

...at one with the wind and the sun.

Preceding that joyous emancipation...

...I would fail the

driver's test four times.

Uh...

I'll hold it.

You go set the brake.

Go!

You should really leave the car in gear

when it's parked.

My dad says that.

Good advice.

Well, are you gonna say anything?

So you just out looking for runaway cars?

Ha, ha.

Actually, I came to see you.

I got your address from the Flicks.

His mom and my mom volunteer

at the hospital.

Do you remember the other day,

in front of Higbee's?

Antlers, sleigh bells?

Uh, yeah.

- Look, I can explain.

- You don't have to.

I saw what you did.

It takes a lot of guts

to stand up to a jark like that.

You don't see that very often.

I guess I just wanted you to know that.

Here.

We're big on fruitcake

at the Gootrad house.

Eat them, use them as paperweight.

Ha, ha. Up to you.

Thanks.

Should you be...?

I mean, are you and, um...?

- Ha-ha-ha.

- You know.

- Todd?

- Yeah.

We talked the other day and sort of decided

to go our separate ways.

Well, I decided.

Oh. I didn't know that.

How could you?

We've been out of school.

And I've just been puttering

around the kitchen all week.

- Baking paperweights.

- Thousands of them.

You have no idea how good

it feels to be outdoors.

Well, I'm glad.

I mean, I'm...

I'm glad that you picked here...

...to be outdoors at.

Oh. Oh, boy, that came out stupid.

No.

It came out great.

- So is this your car?

- Yeah.

'39 Mercury Eight.

Wow, what a wonderful Christmas present.

Please? Please?

Once.

Once around the block.

When I was 9...

...I pulled the wrapping

off the present of my dreams...

...and knew, right then and there,

no Christmas would ever be the same.

And none were.

Until today.

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes