A Countess from Hong Kong Page #7

- I'm so nervous.

- Natascha, don't worry.

Please, don't worry. Everything will

work out the minute we get you ashore.

- Do you require a valise, sir?

- No, I'll take them.

Thank you.

- Now, trust me.

- Hmm.

- Goodnight, Hudson.

- Goodnight, sir.

It's Harvey!

I just heard from Martha.

She won't be coming aboard

till 12.00 tomorrow.

Goodnight, Harv.

- Hudson, in the other room.

I'm sleeping here tonight.

- Oh.

- Goodnight, sir.

- Goodnight.

Oh! Oh.

May I come in?

Excuse me. My medicine.

Mr Hudson?

Mr Hudson, your tea.

- Oh! Wait a moment!

- Oh!

Good morning, sir.

Congratulations.

Huh.

Good morning, madam.

Your tea.

Mmm.

- Would you like to order breakfast, sir?

- Hmm?

Oh.

I think I'll have the oatmeal porridge,

the English pork sausages...

Oh, pardon me, madam.

What would you like for breakfast?

Eggs and bacon,

toast and coffee.

Eggs and bacon,

toast and coffee.

I hate to disturb you,

but there's a little trouble...

about Mrs Hudson's papers

having been blown overboard.

They say the marriage isn't legal unless

she produces her identification papers.

What do they expect the lady to do,

jump in the middle of the Pacific Ocean

to recover her papers?

Unfortunately, there's a report

that a lady stowaway is aboard,

and they're taking every precaution.

What's a stowaway got to do with it?

All that's involved is a marriage.

You were witness to that.

You married them.

Nevertheless, they want

to see the lady's passport.

She doesn't need a passport

to go ashore in Honolulu.

She's married to an American citizen.

Quite so. But if her papers

of identification are missing...

then a marriage at sea

is not recognized.

She's an alien and will have to go

before an Immigration board of enquiry.

The purser's asked to see you, sir.

Yes, of course. I'll see him right away.

Excuse me, ladies and gentlemen.

It's time for me to disappear.

Why? The Captain married you,

and that's a legal fact.

- But the marriage has not

yet been consummated, sir.

- Yet? Hmph.

Hudson, your mind

is running in another channel.

The important thing is the papers.

What are you gonna tell them

about the papers?

Mr Ogden didn't tell me

anything about papers.

Her identification papers,

her birth certificate, her passport!

We've been all through that with you.

What are you gonna tell them?

- Oh, that. I shall tell them the truth,

as you told me.

- As I told you?

As you told me to tell it.

I didn't tell you anything.

You remember that. Go ahead.

I can only tell them

how I met my first wife.

How you first met

your wife. Oh!

It was a breezy afternoon.

I was walking on the top deck...

and there she was, holding

down some papers in her lap.

- It was love at first sight.

- Ugh!

- Hurry up and get to the point, Hudson.

- Yes, sir.

Suddenly, there was a gust of wind,

and the papers blew overboard.

Hudson, you have literary talent.

We better go, Mr Hudson.

The Immigration officials are waiting.

No, now wait Just one moment.

I think I should go with Hudson.

An excellent idea.

Your presence will be efficacious.

- Would you like me to go along?

- No, stay here and look after Natascha.

Don't worry.

Mr Mears, I think we better go.

Come along, Hudson.

- Harvey, you remember what

I told you about Honolulu?

- You're not going to dive off the boat?

- Now is the time.

While they're questioning Hudson.

Oh!

- I'll see you on the beach at Waikiki.

- Mm-hmm.

- If I'm far off, jump up and down,

then I'll recognize you.

- Mm.

So if I make it,

I'll see you later.

Hmm. Here's another one.

If you make it?

Wait a minute!

What do you mean, "If you make it"?

- I'm scared.

- What?

And here goes.

What's going on out there?

That's a Hawaiian

diving off the boat.

Now, Mr Hudson,

we'd like to see your wife.

I believe she's taking a bath.

Oh, my. How nice.

Maria, qu'avez vous fait

de nos bagages?

J'en ai gard quartre et je vais renvoyer

le reste par l'American Express.

- Comme vous me l'avez demand.

- C'est bon.

- Est-ce que c'est votre suite?

- Je crois.

- Ah, Martha!

- Hello, Harvey.

- Oh, what comfortable quarters you have.

- Oh, yes.

Lovely. Where's Ogden?

Uh, he's up in the lounge

with Hudson.

You know, Hudson's married now.

Hudson married?

Oh, really? That's odd.

Yes. Ah, well,

the Captain married them.

- Can I get you something?

- No, it's much too early.

Captain, this is

Mrs Ogden Mears.

- How do you do? Pardon me.

- How do you do?

- We're still waiting for Mrs Hudson.

- She's taking a bath.

She should be finished.

I'll go and see.

Well.

Can I get you something, Captain?

- No, thanks. But if you

don't mind my waiting.

- Quite all right.

- Hello, Martha.

- Hello, Ogden.

Well, you've met the Captain.

- Yes, of course.

- We're looking for Mrs Hudson.

The Immigration officers are in the lounge

and I don't like to keep them waiting.

- Not in the bathroom. I looked all over.

- It's very serious.

Without her identification papers,

she can't land anywhere. She doesn't exist.

- If she doesn't exist,

there's no problem.

- I think we should look for her.

It might be a good idea if you had

another look in the bathroom.

Martha, would you excuse us

for a moment?

All right, Captain.

Hey!

- Waikiki?

- Hop in the back, sister.

Thank you!

Whew! That's the strangest thing

I've ever known.

She's disappeared.

I think we better search

the entire boat.

Good morning, madam.

Congratulations, Hudson.

I hear you're married now.

Well, in a way, yes.

Hudson, what do you mean?

The marriage has not yet

been consummated.

- What is she, an American?

- No, madam, she is from Hong Kong.

- Chinese?

- I shouldn't think so, madam.

She is a Russian emigr.

- Well, I should like to meet her.

- I'll do my best, madam.

Well.

Hudson, it seems as though

your wife has disappeared.

Oh, that's awful.

Poor Hudson.

- I was beginning to grow

very fond of her.

- What have you done to the lady?

Oh, nothing, madam.

The marriage was never consummated.

You've got "consummated"

on the brain.

- I think I'll go ashore

and do some shopping.

- I think I'll go with you, Harvey.

Don't go yet, Ogden.

I've just ordered lunch,

and there's one or two things

I'd like to discuss with you.

I'll stay and have something with you.

What has madam ordered?

- A consummated soup, sir.

- What's that?

Consomm, sir.

- Cold chicken, asparagus

and a bottle of Chablis.

- I'll have the same.

- I'll see you both later.

- The Waikiki Hotel at 5.30

for cocktails.

Uh, you may go, Hudson.

- Did you hear from Washington?

- I got this letter this morning.

Here's the substance of it:

"To allay rumours of divorce,

Martha and you should return

to the States together.

I advise this because of my

great affection for you both."

Etc., etc., etc.

So.

If this arrangement

doesn't work out...

how will it affect

my divorce settlement?

You can put that in escrow.

Unfortunately, the only interest I have

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