A Family Man Page #3

except during your period,

and a negotiated blowj*b

at the beginning of the month.

We're in a rut, Lise.

I'm just not as sexual

as you are.

Doesn't mean I don't

love you.

What a relief.

That helps a lot.

What do you want,

Dane?

Obviously I'm not giving you

what you want.

I don't know, just... more.

More? More what?

Don't you ever

just stop and think,

"Is this it?

Is this all there is?"

I don't just mean sex.

I mean everything.

A bigger house, a bigger job,

a bigger... life.

Maybe...

Maybe if we spent more time

together out of the bedroom,

we'd spend more time

together in it?

You can't just ignore me

and then expect to have sex.

Foreplay doesn't begin

in the bedroom.

Dr. Oz is an idiot.

Dane, we never talk anymore.

You come home, you're on your

cell or you're sending e-mails.

It's the same thing

every weekend,

no wonder

every day seems the same.

It's my job, it's what I do.

I remember the first time I

got up the nerve to tell you

I loved you.

Do you remember

what you said?

"What's not to love?"

God,

you made me laugh! I'd never met

anyone so confident,

so infuriating...

so full of energy

and life!

How do you remember that?

How do you not?

The kids will want to go

as soon as you get home.

Elise, I'll never get home

unless I get back on the phone.

Do those look like

Witch Fingers?

Yeah! Yummy!

- Mom! Trick or treaters!

- Tell them to come back

- Elise?

- There's big kids at the door.

What, like teenagers?

Costumes?

No.

- Oh God, I hate that.

- Elise, I'm hanging up.

Ryan said he wants to walk...

part of the way with

his friends.

Tell them no bones on the lawn.

Elise?

But he wants to start with you

Elise, this is a client

calling in, I gotta take it.

I'll see you in a bit, okay?

Last day of the month, sunshine.

Whaddaya got?

- An offer.

- Who and how much?

Fee's 20,000. It's

T.G. Duke out of Raleigh,

they make...

Ball joints for the Koreans.

Yeah. My guy's Brian Curtis,

he's been downsized,

lives in Jasper, Alabama.

The offer is for eighty grand.

Give it to me.

He got another offer on his

own. Hayes Manufacturing in...

Jasper, Alabama. Christ, why

didn't you get him in there?

I'm sorry! He saw

an ad in the paper.

As in "newspaper"?! You found

the one guy in Alabama

that reads a newspaper?

Christ, Sumner, you'd f*** up

a ham sandwich.

He said that his wife wouldn't

have to quit her job...

if he stayed local.

And?

And he's probably

gonna take Hayes.

Probably?

He's taking Hayes.

This'll be your first deal,

won't it?

It would have.

Look, Dane, I'm try...

Doing my best.

You think up a desk name yet?

Race Bannon.

Send Brian an e-mail,

congratulating him

on the job at Hayes. Encourage

him to get in touch immediately

if his situation should

unexpectedly change.

Then call the client.

Tell them that Brian is excited,

grateful, and accepts

the position.

Now, get me the name

and home phone number

of the Plant Manager at Hayes.

- What are you going...

- But before you do,

hang it.

What?

You heard me.

Put your deal on the board

and ring...

the f***ing... bell.

Based on what?

What are you gonna do?

This deal guarantees

that we win the month. I want

that production on today.

Mr. Blackridge will fire me!

I can't roll the dice

on twenty grand!

Race Bannon would.

Ring it like you own it, Race.

Richard Mercer?

Same Richard Mercer

runs Hayes Manufacturing?

Mr. Mercer, this is Special

Agent In Charge Paulson

with the FBI.

Yes, sir, that FBI.

This call is in regards

to a Mr. Brian Curtis.

Mr. Mercer, in accordance with

section 25-B of the Patriot Act

we now notify employers

of their responsibilities

and potential liabilities

when convicted sex offenders

change jobs.

Yes, sir, a pedophile.

Well, ignorance of the law

doesn't relieve you

of your legal obligations, sir,

such as posting a sexual

predator notice with his photo

in a high traffic area,

say a cafeteria or lobby.

Well, could you maybe build him

a little Quonset hut

or Morton shed, let him

use that as an off...

The cost of shed construction

was not part

of the course work at Quantico.

Well, that's your call,

Mr. Mercer. However,

I should advise you of the

slight risk of a lawsuit

if Mr. Curtis believes

you've discriminated

against him. I'm no lawyer, si,

but I am the father

of two little boys.

Yes, sir, they were boys.

A baker's dozen.

Well, if you feel that strongly,

my suggestion is that you

notify him that the position...

has been filled internally

and forget I called.

You're welcome.

Happy Halloween

to you also, sir.

God bless you too.

Hey, buddy.

Hey, Dad.

In bed a little

early, aren't you?

Mom said she was tired.

- She seem tired?

- Not at all.

Scoot over.

Another building, huh?

Yeah. It's what I wanna do

when I'm big.

Draw skyscrapers and stuff.

Right, right, you wanna be

an architect, huh?

Build buildings?

That's decent money.

Yeah, I just wanna draw them.

I don't even care

how they're built.

That's my boy. That's

even better money.

I'd like to go to the Art

Institute of Chicago.

Oh yeah? Where'd you hear

about that?

My art teacher, Miss Jean,

she, um, she went there.

She liked it a lot.

And she's teaching

fifth-grade art, huh?

And first, too.

Helluva testimonial

for the brochure.

She gave me a list

of her five favorite buildings

in Chicago.

Hey, where'd you get

that bruise, sport?

Where?

- There.

- Hm. I don't know.

"The Rookery,

"Tribune Tower,

"The Pritzker Pavilion,

Wrigley Building,

and Thomas Gale House."

Thomas Gale? Hey!

Lauren! Stay out of my room!

Get out of my bed!

Lauren, you're knocking

all my stuff...

Dad, tell her to get out!

Let's not wake

your mother up, please.

You missed trick

or treating, Daddy.

I know, I'm sorry, sweetie.

- I was a kitty cat.

- I see that.

Look at you.

What were you tonight?

- I was a headhunter.

- Ooh! Awesome.

He's kidding you, stupid,

he's always a headhunter.

It's his job.

- I'm not stupid! You're stupid!

- Hey!

Hey, hey, stop fighting,

you two. Come on...

What do you do when

you're at where you work at?

He helps other dads

get jobs so they can take care

of their families.

Something like that.

Well, that's what Mom

said you do.

Mommy's mad at you.

That's it?

You just go to sleep?

Guess not.

- You missed Halloween, Dane!

- I know, Elise, I'm sorry,

I couldn't help it.

I had to make a call...

You should have seen

the look on the kid's faces...

Guilt doesn't work on me,

Elise. I had to make a call.

A call. A call! You always

have to make a stinking call.

If I was an O.B. would I have

to listen to "a baby, a baby",

you always have to deliver a

stinking baby"? It's what I do.

You think I wanted

to miss tonight?

That I like making those calls?

I know you like making

those calls!

Sometimes I feel like you don't

really live here,

you just sleep here.

- Like a favorite song...

- It's sad.

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