A Gnome Named Gnorm Page #2

(HUMMING)

(YAWNING)

(YAWNING LOUDLY)

(SNORING)

(PHONE RINGING)

Casey Gallagher.

I'm wide awake.

I'm going to have to

call you right back.

(GNORM GROWLING)

You're choking me.

(GROANS)

(GROANS)

Hey, wait a second.

Hold it.

There's no sense knocking

yourself out, okay?

You're not dealing with

an amateur here, pal.

(SNARLING)

No.

What was that?

You spoke.

No eat lumen.

What's the deal

with this thing?

Talk or I'm

gonna eat it.

No eat lumen.

You have the right

to remain silent.

(PHONE RINGING)

What?

Sam?

What do you want?

Listen, don't

hang up on me,

okay?

I got a witness.

This guy was

definitely at the park.

He's now at my place.

That's great, Casey.

Now listen,

you don't understand.

He can talk.

So bring him in the morning.

We'll get a statement.

Good night, Casey.

No, Sam, Sam...

Wait, don't hang up

on me, please.

It's not that simple, okay?

He's a little person.

So?

No, no, you don't understand.

He's littler than

a little person.

He's unusual, okay?

He's got big ears

that are kind of pointy.

He dresses funny.

Kind of funny.

Funny? What, funny

lederhosen and

Groucho glasses? What?

No, uh...

Sort of...

Barky.

Bark.

He looks like...

He looks like an elf.

An elf?

Yeah, an elf.

(GROWLS)

No, it's not

what I mean.

He's not an...

Look, he's just got big ears

and he's a little guy.

He's a little guy

with big ears.

Look, Casey,

just bring him

in the morning.

Look, don't hang up on me.

You hung up on me.

You hung up on me first.

Look, just trust me, okay.

This guy was there.

I think he can help us.

Look, I wanna bring

him to the park.

And I want to

get him to tell us

what he saw.

And I want you

to be there

when he does, okay?

Sam?

Listen, if you try and

think this through,

I'm dead, okay?

'Cause I know

it sounds

really strange.

So for once in your

life don't think.

Just be there, okay?

(GNORM GROANING)

Hold your horses.

Take it easy.

Easy.

Bag, cage...

Shava.

(GASPING)

Up-world.

Sun, where? Where is sun?

Sun?

Joe, Joe, come...

Joe!

(BARKING)

No, Joe, Joe,

come back here.

MAN:
What's that?

Now come here.

Come here.

Very good dog

you got there.

Very nice.

They should outlaw

those things.

Fox giant.

Look, it was just

some dumb dog.

Now come on out,

tough guy, he's gone.

He's gone.

Now come on out.

Give me lumen.

Look, you want it,

you tell me what

happened here last night.

Kaboom.

Kaboom, right, the explosion.

So you did see it.

Now, what did you see?

Kaboom.

Kaboom, right.

But someone made the kaboom.

Now, who was it?

Was it Zadar?

Up-worlder.

Up-worlder. Is that a name?

Giant.

A giant.

Giant, no eyes,

scream kaboom.

Giant?

Mmm-hmm.

No eyes?

Mmm-hmm.

Scream?

Mmm-hmm.

Who screamed?

(GROANS)

Was it the guy

who blew up?

Give me lumen.

CASEY:
Blind,

screaming giant.

Blind,

screaming giant.

Blind,

screaming giant.

Sam?

Yeah,

I'm coming.

Come here.

Good, good, good.

Sam, very good,

all right,

in the bushes.

Excuse me?

He's in the bushes,

the witness,

he's in the bushes.

What are you talking about?

Have you gone

completely nuts?

All right, all right,

look, I warned you,

he's very, very small.

Go ahead,

real small.

This is ridiculous.

There's nobody in there.

And extremely fast.

He's right behind you.

Turn around,

he's right behind you.

Turn around.

Casey...

He's very fast,

very small

and he's right behind you.

Turn around,

he's right behind you.

Stand still.

Look, I don't know what

the hell kind of game

you're trying to play here,

but I'm much

too tired for this.

Call me when you get

your act together.

Pooka,

nice roundie...

Shut up! Okay?

Shut up.

Nice popos.

Shut up!

You say talk.

No, I want you

to listen.

Listen, okay?

You see this stone right here?

You see this stone?

Look, this blind,

screaming giant

is a killer.

He is a killer.

And I need to nail him.

And unless you help

me track him down,

you're never gonna

see this again.

You understand me?

Get it?

Shava!

Shava?

What's shava?

Okay, so this giant here,

what are we talking about,

six, seven, eight feet?

What is it?

Giant.

Wait, that's him?

(TIRES SCREECHING)

Giant, no eyes.

Giant, no eyes.

CASEY:
What?

Giant, no brain.

Oh, I'm a giant?

Yeah.

Okay, if I'm a giant,

what does that make you?

Good size.

Good size?

A good size

pain in my...

(SCOFFS)

Give me lumen.

Wait a second.

Wait a second.

Eyes.

No eyes.

Eyes.

Hmm.

No eyes.

So, let me get this straight.

The perpetrator was a

guy wearing sunglasses?

Right.

Average size,

but not good size,

and prone to screaming.

Right.

This is great.

This is really great.

(GRUNTING)

(GROANING)

Hello.

Somebody gets blown to bits,

that seems perfectly

reasonable to me.

But then all those cops

show up and I say to myself,

"This little creep,

he must be a cop."

That makes me feel tense.

That's got to be bad

for your blood pressure.

(YELLS)

(GROANS)

Now, hold on.

Just look at this tie.

This look like a cop's tie?

What cop would wear

a tie like this?

Do I look like a cop?

What is this?

(GROWLING)

Ah! Let go!

Lumen, lumen.

Help!

(YELLING)

Lumen.

You think you can

take it easy? Please.

Move it, slug slime.

He's escaping.

He's getting away. Why?

'Cause I'm chained to an elf.

Not elf, not elf.

You're an elf.

You're a worthless

elf, okay?

You bite people.

You probably have rabies.

Let me go.

Fine!

Ciao, Adios, okay?

I'll see you.

You bring lumen back.

Right, risk my life

for your little rock.

What are you, crazy?

You lose lumen.

Yeah, you're right.

I lost your little

glow-in-the-dark rock,

so what?

You think I'm going

to die for it?

My people die.

Your people, what people?

No people.

What people?

Not tell.

Look, if you don't tell me,

how am I going to help you?

You want it back?

You need me.

I need your co-operation.

You help find lumen?

Wait, first things first.

The guy you just sunk

your teeth into,

was he the guy from the park?

The guy who made the

explosion, the kaboom?

No scream.

I am not screaming.

No scream.

Oh, the guy in the

park screamed?

We go.

What about the guy

who was just here though.

Could he be the one?

We go.

We're not going anywhere.

Until we get things

straight here, okay?

Now, was this the guy who made

the explosion, the kaboom?

Yes! Kaboom!

Bang! Whammo!

CASEY:

This is called a stakeout.

We are looking for a guy here.

GNORM:
Ah...

His name's Reggie Smalls.

He comes here every day.

He's the one who set

up the deal with Zadar

and if we're lucky,

he should lead us

to our man.

GNORM:
Ah!

Come on, concentrate now.

This is a stakeout.

Ah!

(WHISTLING)

Giant popos.

Take it easy, will you?

You gotta concentrate here.

This is a stakeout...

Look that's him.

Okay, can you see him?

That's him. Okay, now we sit,

we watch and we wait.

And when he leaves,

we follow him.

Stakeout.

By the way,

that disguise,

not working.

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