A Hero of Our Times Page #6

Miss,

have you got a friend?

Why?

Well, maybe we could go for a

little spin the four of us.

There's a little place on the Tiber...

- Tell me what your friend has told you.

- No, miss, don't misunderstand us!

We'll grab a bite, drink a glass of

sparkling wine, dance.

- And then?

- Skinny-dip, like the french.

That's an advance payment.

And I'll also tell my Fernando.

He'll smash your heads, yours

and that jerk of a friend of yours.

When we had a king,

strikes were forbidden.

- To the wall all those that go on strike!

- You shut up!

Ah, if only we had a king...

What're you trying to do?

I'll break your arm?

You don't think I will?

Be a good boy, go to work.

Sure,

and be the only one who goes.

It's better, the manager sees you,

remembers it, and gives you a raise.

And the unloaders,

who's going to stop them?

The unloaders will behave themselves

because the riot police will come.

Sure, and a revolution will break out

and the police chief will take it on me.

Once and for all, can't you understand

that I'm charged without arrest?

Charged without arrest,

that's how I am!

Say you're sick.

- Did you come up with this?

- Yes.

Damn!

Of course,

I'll say I'm sick!

- Give me the key to the padlock!

- Here I am, here I am.

Hello?

- Good evening, Sir, am I intruding?

- Speak, speak.

- Tomorrow I can't come to work.

- You can't or you won't?

I can't, Sir,

I've got a hernia attack.

- Again the hernia?

- The same one, Sir.

- Is it such a serious attack?

- Yes, Sir.

I'm writhing in bed in agony.

It's like a knife

cutting through my bowels.

Don't move then,

lay in bed.

Yes, it may be strangulated.

Let me take care of everything.

He'll take care of everything?

Take care of what?

Hello? Hello?

The hospital? Put me through to the

doctor on duty, please.

I phoned,

and all hell broke loose.

Do you understand?

What can I do?

They've got me!

Did you see how quickly they

brought me here?

I'm in the company's hands,

now.

Shut up!

- St. Anthony, I'm not afraid. - Shut up!

Listen to her! The prayers for the dead!

The manager's watching me.

I'm forced to have surgery,

how could I avoid it?

Since you're here,

do your appendicitis also.

Shut up,

you shut up!

You want to see me dead,

don't you?

Look here, look.

A surgeon forgot the scissors

in a patient's belly.

D'you get it? That's the kind of hands

I'm in! Damn, I'll pull your hair off!

- It's Mrs. De Ritis, shall I let

her through? - Let her through.

Give me 3,000 lire.

Take her away, take her away!

Go!

Go!

Saint Anthony, wise him up!

- Hi, kiddie.

- Hi, dottore.

- Sweets.

- Thank you.

- Did you get your flat?

- Yes, thank you.

Only 12,000, 3,000 missing,

nothing important.

Must have been an error,

well, here's the 3,000, anyway.

- I'll put it here, aren't you looking?

- What an airy room!

- I'll put it here, is it alright?

- So much light!

May I open it?

Can you hear the swallows?

- At your orders, dottore.

- Beautiful day, full of sunshine.

A day for a boat outing on the Tiber.

What's with this allusion

to a boat outing?

Didn't you ever go on a boat

outing on the Tiber?

Well, yes, I was dragged there,

without me being aware.

But I won't fall for that again!

What,

what're you doing to me?

We'll give you a nice little injection,

and then a nice little cut.

- Are you putting me to sleep?

- Local anethesia, only here.

It's better not to put me to sleep,

I'm calmer awake.

And then, if you do it tomorrow, never

even, I'd be much better, sister.

Such a kiddie! Imagine I've had five

operations and I'll do it all over again.

It's so reposing.

Stay calm and think of your fiancee,

who's here, waiting for you.

- Who's going to operate on me?

- Professor Bracci, assited by his son.

Did you know I went to school with

the Salesians?

- Bravo!

- Yes, the monks loved me alright.

You and your mother are driving me mad,

why did you tell her to go to Cortina?

- I'm sorry, dad.

- Yes, sure, you're sorry!

I've been operating for 6 hours and I'm

exhausted and you can only apologise.

Don't you understand I have to operate

and I must have peace?

Excuse me,

is that one professor Bracci?

- Has he quarreled with his son?

- Stay calm, don't worry.

Is he very nervous?

I hope his hand won't be shaking.

- Sister, let's pray.

- Come on.

Easy.

Is this very simple surgery?

Let's hope it'll be over quickly.

I'm off at 18:
00, and he'll be waiting

for me with the new 600.

Silence, the professor.

- What is this?

- For your heart beats.

Is it serious?

Is he going to operate on me?

Come on,

gloves!

Come on, quickly!

The gloves!

Won't these be the ones?

I found them, professor.

Straight scissors.

I'm feeling weak.

Flat scalpel.

- I said the flat one!

- Oh!

Is he cutting me?

Stay calm,

it's already been done.

My throat's dry.

What?

Help, what's happening?

What's the matter,

is it broken?

It's a design flaw.

May I?

- Are you sure it's not something wrong

with my heart? - Stay calm.

- I'm not at all calm.

- Don't worry.

- Am I in danger?

- No.

May I?

And the scissors?

What do you mean you've run out?

Short scalpel.

- Is it the same one, dad? - I said

the short one. Do what daddy tells you.

Do what daddy says, he said the short

one, you give him the short one.

Silence!

I'll be silent, but you do what daddy says

he's much more experienced than you.

- Mask!

- Damn, what's the matter?

D'you want to suffocate me?

I want to enjoy life.

If I make it,

I want to enjoy life.

Mamma mia look what's coming,

look at them!

- Mamma mia, mamma mia!

- Stay calm, stay calm.

Nice, nice.

- Dottor Pedocchi?

- What?

- Count the third one from the right.

- Where?

That one, the one with bangs.

I can't make up my mind between the little

one and the one with the ponytail.

- The one with the ponytail.

- I'll go for the tall one.

No, I've seen her first!

Even the masked one...

Alright, I'll leave the tall one to you,

and I'll take the rest.

You can even take the tall one,

one's enough.

- Shall we go smarten ourselves up a little?

- Are you sure?

Yes, we've got half an hour,

let's go.

What do you mean no?

Did you take a bath?

- Yes, on Friday.

- D'you know what day is today?

- But you can't every day...

- Then, I won't take you to the dancers,

if you don't take a bath first.

Am I right, dottor Pedocchi?

Of course.

Let's go,

we'll be just in time for dinner.

Another go?

Here.

- Is it perfumed?

- Violet perfume.

- What?

- Your toe's out.

- Does it show?

- Yes, it shows.

Spray.

- Ready? Clotilde?

- Who is it?

It's me,

listen what happened to me.

Tonight I must go to dinner with my

superiors and I've got a hole in my sock.

- Where's the hole?

- At the thumb.

- Then it doesn't show.

- It doesn't show, but I'm cold.

- Resist.

- Impossible.

I'm ashamed,

d'you understand my embarrassment?

Buy a new pair of socks.

- And wear them over the old ones?

- Take them off.

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