A Hole in the Head

Today I may not have

A thing at all

Except for just a dream or two

But I've got lots of plans for tomorrow

And all my tomorrows

Belong to you

Right now it may not seem

Like spring at all

We're drifting

And the laughs are few

But I've got rainbows

planned for tomorrow

And all my tomorrows

Belong to you

No one knows better than I

That luck keeps passing me by

That's fate

But with you there at my side

I'll soon be turning the tide

Just wait

As long as I've got arms that cling at all

It's you that I'll be clinging to

And all the dreams

I dream, beg or borrow

On some bright tomorrow

They'll all come true

And all my bright tomorrows

Belong to you

Once upon a time, there were... hm...

three handsome hitchhikers.

Jerry Marks on the right,

Mendy Yales on the left,

and that's me in the middle,

Tony Manetta.

We came down from the Bronx

to make our fortune here in Florida.

First thing in Miami, we finagled

a cab and we're in business.

That's me in the middle.

Today, 20 years later, Jerry Marks is one

of the biggest promoters in the country.

Last year, Mr Fabulous,

as the papers call him,

he paid over $5 million in taxes.

Mendy? Well, Mendy's still pushing a cab.

As for me, I'm still in the middle.

I'm in the hotel business in Miami Beach,

working on my first million.

That's my hotel right there,

The Garden Of Eden.

But like good old Adam,

my weakness is Eves.

(swing band plays)

My current Eve is a Lulu. She would've

made the serpent eat the apple.

(woman) Yahoo!

Miami Beach!

If anyone thinks

I'm a well-heeled big shot out on a spree,

they've got a hole in their head.

Truth is, I'm busted.

He would like to own it, but I wouldn't give

you a quarter for the whole stinkin' beach.

- All right, tiger, down. The cops.

- (giggles)

- You wanna fight, huh?

- Come on, now.

(horn blares)

Oh, I forgot. I've got a son.

How about that?

(car horn)

(Tony) Knock it off.

You wanna get us pinched?

- You're just chicken, landlord. Whee...

- What a kook. Out, kook, out.

I feel like swimming.

Let's go swimming, huh, landlord?

Out, out. You're going to bed.

Go to bed, Ally.

- I'm a nose cone. And I want music.

- You're a kook nose cone.

(music plays)

- You'll wake up the kid. Get your key.

- Lookee, let's play fireman.

- Whoops, I'm decelerating.

- Andy, get her key right away.

I love you, landlord.

You love me?

- Any law against loving a landlord?

- There's a law against killing a landlord.

- Lookee, there goes Mars.

- Hurry up. Open her door wide.

The ride's getting bumpy.

Aren't we going to land?

Any minute now.

- No, no!

- Oh, keep quiet.

No, no!

- (music plays)

- Oh... Oh, no.

- Turn this radio off.

- I don't love you.

Who are you that I should love you?

I'm going swimming. Bye.

(hums)

Yahoo!

What a kooky broad.

(sighs)

Pop...

- Pop.

- What's the matter? What happened?

We are being evicted.

- What, are you kidding?

- I was trying to reach you all afternoon.

How do you like that?

A guy misses one lousy payment...

- Five payments.

- Oh, OK, five payments.

And Abe Diamond throws us

out on the street.

He must think

I'm a jerk from Jerkville.

- Mr Diamond's right, you know.

- Right? What do you mean, right?

If we can't meet our payments...

He's a big lawyer now.

Pshew, corporation lawyer.

What do we care

what it says in the lease?

Who needs this crummy, beat-up hotel,

anyways? Fleabag.

You know these architect drawings?

I didn't tell you about my brainchild.

It'll make me bigger than Jerry.

See this South Beach area?

We could buy it for a song.

About three, four million dollars.

Maybe five million.

We take the buildings down

and we build a Disneyland.

Pretty big blockbuster idea, huh?

I got three or four guys

who want to put in...

Abe Diamond.

Now he picks to throw me out.

If the word gets around,

my credit will be worth about two cents.

Don't worry about it.

I'll figure something out.

Hey!

- Sleepy? I'll run you a little gin.

- It's four o'clock in the morning.

So it's four o'clock. What, are you sleepy?

Come on, we'll play cards.

In 1931, when Mickey Walker gave up the

middleweight crown, who fought for it?

- What are we gonna do?

- Answer the question.

- Ben Jeby and Gorilla Jones.

- Right for $1 million.

- What are we gonna do, Pop?

- Stop worrying about it.

- Maybe if we sell the car.

- I'm gonna have to flatten you.

If you're gonna play cards, play.

Tomorrow I'll go see Mr Diamond

and ask him to tear up the eviction notice.

- What if he don't?

- Then I'll go to a bank.

You think Marty Elkins

is gonna turn me down?

- He'd give me the money in two minutes.

- I thought you went to him last month.

Don't go getting smart with me, Ally.

And if worst comes to worst,

I'll call up your Uncle Mario.

- Uncle Mario?

- Now that's very nice.

- Nice respect to show for your relatives.

- Gee whiz, Pop.

Don't you remember after Mama died

how they started all that stuff

about you can't take care of me, and all?

- So?

- I wanna stay here with you.

Look, in the first place, I'm not going to

call up Uncle Mario unless it's desperate.

In the second place, I'm not gonna

let anybody take you away from me.

What am I gonna do?

Sell you for a few dollars for money?

- Play cards and answer the question.

- James J Corbett.

I didn't ask the question yet.

- Five points.

- What five points?

Go to bed. A kid playing gin

at four in the morning.

Next thing you know,

you'll be smoking and drinking.

OK, once more.

Who's the greatest champ of all times?

- For $1 million?

- For $1 million.

That's easy - you are.

I ought to punch you in your funny nose.

Except it looks like your mother's.

You know how you look like her?

Look how look like her.

Little Millie. She was so good.

Pop, please don't let me

go live with Uncle Mario.

- What are you talking?

- I know if you call him for money...

I never saw such a worrypuss.

Come here.

You know what I'm gonna do for you

when I'm on Easy Street?

I used to dream about it

when I was in the Bronx.

I'm gonna buy you the biggest house

you ever saw. Big as a castle.

We're gonna have flowers and dogs,

and beautiful horses

with their tails way up in the air.

And maybe a big white yacht. Hm?

I used to watch those boats

go up and down the Hudson.

I used to say to myself "Yes, sirree, boy,

one of these days,

all of that is for my little Ally."

Me too, you.

"Me too, you?" What kind of talk is that?

When I grow up and be a famous scientist,

I'm gonna buy things for you.

- Hotels.

- Shut up.

I'll do all the buying in this family.

That gives me a good idea.

Cos right next to that big house,

I'll build a very big scientific building.

Every afternoon, I can watch

the professors shoot rockets to the moon.

Hm?

Nah.

First, we've got to get you a bank,

something solid, you know?

Real solid. We'll have your name

in gold letters that high.

President Ally, banker.

Boy, we sure could use

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