A Home at the End of the World Page #3

you're gonna make me say it.

Do you think l'm attractive?

l....

That's what l thought

you were gonna ask.

And, yes, l-- Absolutely, l do.

Good.

That's good.

Well, there's just no smooth

or sophisticated way to do this, is there?

Clare.

No, listen.

You talk too much, darling.

lf you don't shut up,

l will come to my senses...

...and realize how stupid

and self-destructive this is.

l have to tell you, l've never...

...you know...

...done this before.

-Pardon me?

-l've never...

...you know....

-Never?

-No.

Does that freak you out?

No.

l mean, yes, of course it freaks me out!

Jesus Christ.

l guess maybe we should stop.

Maybe.

Because, you know...

...l may not be the most, like...

...adept.

Oh, honey.

You think l'm upset

because you might not be adept?

-ls that what you think?

-No.

l guess.

Okay, junior...

...mama's gonna teach you

a thing or two.

Are you nervous?

Don't be.

This is the most natural thing

in the world.

All right.

lt's all right.

Sorry l missed dinner.

Where is everybody?

Jonnie...

...are you okay?

Are you okay?

l guess.

-You should go back to Clare.

-No, man...

...l don't wanna leave you alone.

You should go back to Clare.

Really.

Bobby?

Lovey, wakey, wakey!

l am not here. You never saw me.

l'm just the cleaning lady. So sorry.

You were in bed.

We tucked you in at 2 a.m.

l went out again.

-Fun?

-Sort of.

Potential?

l don't think so.

So, what do we do now--?

-See you later, babies.

-Jonnie--

Oh, it's entirely fine. There's a whole world

full of art boys just outside.

No worries. Love you.

Hey, man.

What are you doing up here?

Some queen next door's got Mozart cranked.

l couldn't tear myself away.

Opera, huh?

Clare loves you.

l love Clare.

Doesn't this all seem sort of strange?

No, man, it's perfect.

Just like this.

Bobby, l'm starting to feel a little extra.

You're essential, man.

Let's dance.

-You can't dance to opera.

-You can dance to anything.

What are you doing?

A little kiss between brothers.

Nothing wrong with that.

Jon?

Jonnie?

Clare! Clare, wake up!

What?

Jonathan...

...you a**hole! God.

We gotta find him.

Honey, he isn't lost. He left.

lt's my fault.

This is not true.

No, you don't understand.

Bobby...

...this is a problem of Jonathan's.

-Trust me.

-There's something f***ed up about me.

There is nothing f***ed up about you.

You don't know.

-Hello?

-Hi, Alice?

Bobby, is that you, honey?

l don't wanna worry you,

but have you heard from Jonathan?

Of course. He's here.

Do you wanna talk to him?

He's there? Great, put him on.

Bobby, l'm sorry,

it looks like he's gone to bed already.

-But l'll tell him you called, okay?

-Tell him Clare and I are fine.

Okay, sweetheart, l will.

Bye-bye.

Do you like it here?

Here l can, more or less,

breathe the air...

...and your mother's learned

how to make blue margaritas.

Whoever expected to end up living

in the desert?

Yeah, whoever expects

to end up living anywhere?

That's too deep for me.

How's that?

Looks a little bit like me, doesn't it?

We're not speaking to anybody

right now.

Happy holidays.

Celebrate, all you people.

Hello, Bobby, this is Alice.

Sweetheart, there's something

I have to tell you.

Oh, look at you.

And this is Clare.

Oh, Clare. lt's so wonderful

to finally meet you.

-Thanks for coming.

-Thank you for having me.

Alice, sorry.

Alice?

-So clumsy.

-l'll get it.

lt's all right,

they cost a $ 1 .98 at Kmart.

Alice.

Do something for me.

-Anything.

-Hold me.

Just hold me.

Okay.

Tighter.

Don't be gentle with me.

Squeeze me harder.

Harder.

Make me feel like

you're breaking my ribs.

-Oh, God.

-l can't.

l don't wanna hurt you.

l love you.

-You're an angel.

-Mom?

l'll be right there, honey.

Anybody want a drink?

-Okay, sure.

-Okay.

l'm sorry about--

Well, all this.

l knew l'd see you both again.

l just imagined...

...well...

...different circumstances.

lt's okay.

lt's okay.

Ned, man...

...he was a trip.

He was like my father too.

You would have loved him, Clare.

-l'm sure.

-Bobby?

lf you want my family so badly,

l hereby bequeath them to you.

No. No, better yet, l hereby

bequeath you my whole entire life.

Be me. l hereby dub you

Jonathan Glover.

Tomorrow, when they cremate

my father's body...

...you can be the son,

and l'll be the best friend.

You can come back from the service

and console my mother.

Jonathan, stop it.

You're better at it than l am.

You're better qualified. So go at it...

-...be their son with my blessings.

-Listen to me, you little sh*t.

All he's ever done is worship you.

All you've done is walk out on him.

Don't you dare speak to him like that.

You don't know what you're talking about.

You don't know the first thing about worship.

Do you know?

Do you have any idea how much l--?

Listen, you guys--

How much l wanted you?

How much l loved you, you a**hole?

You know, and then, what an idiot l am.

How pathetic is that?

Me, in love with you.

Then Bobby comes along...

...and l fall in love with this one,

then l think that we--

That the three of us,

maybe we could--

F*** it.

Just leave me alone and go back

to the house and have a drink.

Clare!

How could you just leave

without saying anything?!

l couldn't be the uncle anymore.

Give me a break, okay?

-Clare, hey.

-Don't call me that.

What, don't call you what? Your name?

What did you think l would do

without you, Jonathan?

-What were you thinking?

-Clare, come on.

l'm pregnant, you f***ers!

What?

Are you sure?

l'm completely sure.

You wanted this, didn't you?

God help me.

Clare.

-Oh, man.

-You think?

Yes.

Yes.

What do you think about ''Ethan'' for a boy,

or ''Trevor''?

-Let's not get fancy.

-lf it's a girl, call her ''Clare Jr.''

One Clare per family is enough.

-What will the kid call Bobby and me?

-l never thought of that. ''Daddy.''

Like ''Daddy One'' and ''Daddy Two''?

-We're gonna have to move, aren't we?

-Right.

Funny family will need a third bedroom.

Funny family may need

a whole new neighborhood.

Somewhere where two out of three people

passing by are not psychotic?

-Exactly.

-How about Cleveland?

-No!

-Let's move here.

-Please repeat what you just said.

-lt's too hard to raise a kid in the city.

Don't you think?

What if the kid turned out to be

some sort of, l don't know, Heidi.

How much goodness do we want?

Growing up in the country

doesn't doom anyone to good behavior.

Most of the interesting murderers

come from derelict farms.

This is so adult, looking at real estate.

-We are adults, sort of.

-Who would the kid play with out here?

Woodland creatures,

like Snow White.

l don't want him hanging with squirrels.

They have personality disorders.

Stop it!

This one has a great soul,

don't you think?

Baby?

-lt's your money.

-lt's my grandfather's money.

-l didn't earn a dime of it.

-Still.

You'd be the owner.

What do you think?

You really want this, don't you?

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