A Kid Called Mayonnaise Page #2

sometimes I take baths

with them.

I know. Okay?

Let's just go home.

No. No, no, no.

Come on.

She's out there

somewhere.

Nobody said making friends

was easy.

How would you know?

I mean, you're just so

not me.

When I was a kid,

I moved four times

in five years.

I think I know what

lonely is like.

Sometimes I call my old house

and talk to it.

For three years...

my best friend was

a stuffed turtle

named Brainino.

[chuckling]

That's pretty weird.

Oh, yeah? Well, at least

I don't take baths with rubber duckies.

Weirdo.

[laughing]

Pull over.

There!

The birthday girl.

I'm a little scared.

That's okay.

Sometimes, when my brain

is telling me to flee,

I do this thing

where I trick it

by fleeing,

but fleeing in the direction of the thing

that I'm scared of.

- Got it?

- No.

Flee!

Flee!

- Flee!

- Okay, oh-- Good luck!

Don't talk about rubber duckies!

[chuckles]

Or taking baths with them.

Hey, how's it goin'?

- [clapping]

- Well done, very nice.

Strong effort.

Oh, hi. I'm Mayo.

Mayo Davis.

How's it goin'?

I like your dresses.

Do you know this guy?

Um, I'm the guy that

you waved at on the float this morning.

Near the Alamo Motel.

I'm really sorry.

I waved at a lot of people

this morning.

But y-you looked

right at me.

I looked back.

There was waving.

Maybe this will help.

Sorry.

This doesn't look good.

I could go over there

and help him out.

I have that option.

But part of growing up

is figuring things out on your own.

You'll learn that.

I'm a banana.

So, what'd you wish for?

If I tell you,

it won't come true.

She wished that

you would leave.

Oops.

Now it won't come true.

No, it probably will.

I say it definitely will.

So I'm gonna get goin'.

Nope? All right.

Sorry, anyway.

[gasps]

No way.

You got this at

the piata store, right?

It's so snazzy, right?

Does that mean you're

a fan of rubber duckies?

She's more a fan of

smashing rubber duckies.

What are you doing?

It's a piata.

You beat it with a stick

until the candy comes out.

I-- I know

how it works.

Then give it a try.

It's okay.

I'll go.

He's good.

Hit the duck

with the stick.

You know,

I was just thinking.

It's kind of weird,

isn't it,

celebrating someone's birth

by obliterating a duck?

Sorry, I'll shut up now.

I just want you to know that

I'm totally pro piata,

and pro birthday

all the way.

It's just, well,

I like rubber duckies.

Just a little.

Well, a lot and sometimes

I take baths with them.

Yeah, so here's my proposal.

What if we could find a way

to bring together

piatas, birthdays,

and rubber duckies

all together in a way that

felt a little more magical?

Hit the duck

with the stick.

Ready?

One... two...

Flee!

I'm-- I'm so sorry.

All:
Come back!

Come on!

It's gonna be okay.

He's a banana.

We all are.

Oh-- Hi.

Hey, uh, Lance, Miss Kincaid.

Um, how's it goin'?

So I decided to make

a donation, too. Um--

It-- [hocking]

It's in my mouth.

Give us the duck!

They'll never

take us alive!

Mr. Cavendish.

Help!

Mr. Cavendish help!

No, no, no,

this isn't a game.

This isn't a game!

[phone quacking]

[panting]

Hey, Mom,

everything's great.

I gotta go.

Love you. Bye.

Did you find that girl?

I-- I did, but there was

a little mix up,

and now she's

looking for me.

[rock]

Hey, new friend.

I love you. Gotta go.

Don't name the ostrich.

I'm not gonna name it.

Candy, where are you?

[chuckles] Oh,

that's a yummy lunch.

Candy:
Anybody see a kid

running with

a rubber ducky piata,

he wears glasses,

comes from Idaho?

Anybody?

Where are you,

Mayonnaise?

[sighs]

I'm gonna need some back up.

I am gonna need...

some serious back up.

I am losing it, Brainino,

I am losing it.

[exhaling]

My stomach hurts.

Goosebumps.

A feeling of hope despite life's funny way

of crushing your soul.

Oh, no, no, no.

Oh, no, no, no, no, no,

we can't lose it.

Not now.

[groans]

Come on, song, I need you!

[breathing heavily]

[laughs]

Oh, my cancin suprema!

[laughs]

Oh, okay.

Ooh, bumps.

We're good. We're good.

Sorry. Okay.

[train whistle blows]

Just give us the duck.

It's my birthday.

I'll take care of this.

The duck, please.

You don't have to smash it

just because they want you to.

I know.

Come on!

- Come on!

- They're getting away !

[groaning]

[panting]

My stomach hurts.

My stomach hurts.

Goosebumps.

A feeling of hope despite life's funny way

of crushing your soul.

I'll explain later.

Come on!

Make it up

as we go along

And if we write

our own story

We'll never be boring

And we can get it on

It's hard to explain

What's goin' on

inside my brain

It's like a puppy parade

Rain down confetti

on my day

On count of

one, two, three

Triple duck day,

move your feet

Tell me what you thought

In a secret language

we'll make up

So what if we're

the underdogs

We'll make it up

as we go along

And if we write

our own story

We'll never be boring

And we can get it on

So what if we're

the underdogs

We'll make it up

as we go along

La cancin suprema!

La cancin suprema!

[laughing]

Hey. It's okay.

Well, hello.

Mom, this is

the birthday girl.

- Hi.

- Oh, well, welcome to the Alamo.

What happened

with the ostrich?

I didn't name him,

so I thought, this time,

I'm really gonna do it.

but then I put him in

this little outfit.

I mean,

look at him.

So dashing.

Mayo:
So that's pretty much

the whole story, house.

The birthday girl

wanted to tell me her name,

but I asked her if I could keep calling her

the birthday girl,

and she said okay.

Souvlaki, gamora,

angina, huzzah.

Mayo:
Those are the words

she invented

that you say right before

you let it go.

Get ready!

[spitting]

Hey, happy birthday.

Hey. Thanks.

Mayo:
So, house, if you're wondering about

my new life here,

I'd have to say

it's pretty snazzy.

Sure, I almost got clobbered

trying to save this duck,

but I learned that when

your brain is saying,

"Hey, buddy, are you sure you

want to do this?"

That's when you gotta say,

"Brain, it's time for me to make a stand."

Bye for now, house.

I miss you guys,

and I hope you miss me, too.

So what if we're

the underdogs

We make it up

as we go along

And if we write

our own story

We'll never be boring

And we can get it on

So what if we're

the underdogs

We make it up

as we go along

And if we write

our own story

We'll never be boring

And we can get it on

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes