A Kid Like Jake Page #3

- Yeah.

- No biggie.

You can have a fruit roll-up

later, if you want.

- Yeah.

- Except they're kinda sticky.

Hello?

Wheeler, yeah.

W-H-E-E-L-E-R.

And my son is Jake.

Preschools will receive feedback

in December.

Of course, we wish we had room

for all your little angels.

But the numbers

are what they are.

The numbers are what they are.

The numbers are what they are.

Ooh, look at that.

What is that?

- Is that for us?

- Yes!

No, I did that.

Uh, Le -- let me try.

- That's what I clicked on.

- No.

I think it's

the one under there.

- I don't know.

- I can't deal with this..

There.

Right?

I mean, it's insane!

Between the down-regs

and the stims

trigger shots, blood samples

not to mention anesthetic

for egg retrieval.

All in all,

you're probably stabbed

about 75 times per cycle.

And most of the stabbing,

you're doing to yourself.

I had this whole kit

at the office.

They say if you're squeamish

about needles

IVF will either cure you

or break you.

I, actually..

That doesn't bother you?

- You mean..

- The banshee next door.

What about Ben?

What about him?

Was he supportive?

Just.. In all this.

We've got a few minutes.

He'd call the office.

Constantly checking in.

You know, he'd e-mail me

these fertility blogs.

What to eat, what not to eat.

That sounds like

a lot of pressure.

You have kids?

Yeah. One.

It's like when guys say,

"We're pregnant!"

You know?

Like, wow! Equality, great!

But actually you're not,

so maybe you could just..

...f*** off a little bit?

Ally, come on,

you're being ridiculous.

I'm fine.

You've got clients.

So, what?

So, I'll reschedule.

It's his first interview.

This is important.

- He's gonna be nervous.

- Exactly.

You know, I'm sorry,

but what happens

if you puke on the train?

You think that's gonna put him

in a good mood?

All right, Th -- there's

some apple slices

with peanut butter

in the kitchen.

Make sure he eats on the way.

Yeah, but "The Little Mermaid's"

my favorite movie.

Mm-hmm.

- Here you go.

- Thank you very much.

Hey, Jake, let's go over here.

First time?

Yeah.

At our last one,

they left the door open

so I could peek in.

And I saw my son

was drawing a picture

and I thought, "That's good,

that's good," right?

So the teacher comes over

and says, "Hey, what's that?"

And he said, "A gun."

Well, he can't fix America, huh?

No, he can't.

Mr. Wheeler?

Can I have a word with you?

Alexandra, it's your mother.

I haven't heard from you

in over a week.

Call me old-fashioned,

but I don't think

a simple phone call

is so much to ask.

An emoji does not count.

In any case, listen,

I just talked to your brother

and Kimmie's got

a piano recital on the 11th.

I don't know if you've

heard her play recently

but she's really getting

very good.

It's amazing, frankly,

the discipline at her age.

I thought it might be nice

for Jake to see.

It might inspire him.

Who knows?

Oh, have you set a date

for his birthday party yet?

I don't want a situation

like last year.

It really broke my heart.

So call me, I'm at the office.

Be here all day.

Remember what that's like?

Of course, it's ridiculous.

- I'm not saying it's not.

- I think "Abusive" was the word you used.

You said whoever had the bright

idea to evaluate toddlers

using test scores deserves

a special place in hell.

But he got a 96!

Ou -- out of 100?

Yeah, well, I mean,

it's percentile

so you can't get higher than 99.

- What is all this?

- Look, look. Okay, look.

- So they break it down. Right?

- Mm-hmm.

There's verbal ability,

spatial relations.

- Fine motor skills.

- Fine motor skills?

Yeah, like how he holds

a pencil.

And I was worried about that too

'cause he's left-handed,

which, I mean, obviously

they can't discriminate,

but his form --

- You are out of your mind.

- Okay, okay, look.

Lo -- look at the narrative.

- "Jake was enthusiastic and curious..

- Enthusiastic.

"And proved remarkably focused

on the task at hand.

"With a keen eye,

he was able to group pictures

"based on common properties

copying several rows of symbols

- to match a code."

- What the f***!

But it's like shapes and things,

relax. Okay.

Wait, wait, wait,

this is my favorite part.

"Using an unconventional

"but still effective

left-handed grip.

A delight to work with."

What's wrong?

I -- I don't understand.

I guess Jake had made friends

with one of the girls

in his group

and one of the boys overheard

what they were talking about.

And, uh, that boy

told some other boy

who told some other boy,

who started teasing Jake.

- What were they saying?

- I don't know.

But apparently before

the teacher could intervene

things got physical.

They started shoving each other.

- I think Jake fell down.

- Jesus.

Yeah, and then

I guess Jake shoved

the other kid back, I..

And then I guess

he started crying.

But -- but did you tell them

he's not like that?

When has he ever shoved anyone?

They knew that he was

being teased, okay?

The man was really nice

about it. I..

I actually think he was

a little embarrassed.

- Why?

- Well..

He kept dancing around

what had happened

talking about

Jake's creative role-play

or whatever, and then suddenly,

I realized

Oh, God, this guy

doesn't know how to tell me

that my son was

uh, well, he was the

Little Mermaid, it turns out.

Damn this thing.

Anyway, once it was over,

the teacher

she sat both of them down.

They had a talk about

respectful behavior.

And, uh, she encouraged

Jake to use

his words if he was angry.

He couldn't talk.

- No, I guess not.

- No, no, no.

I -- I mean, the Little Mermaid

loses her voice.

She can't talk

for, like, half the movie.

Y -- you never thought of that?

Well, are you mad at me?

Well..

Now they're gonna think

he's got anger issues

or doesn't know

how to communicate his feelings.

I should have taken him.

- Well, thanks.

- No, I -- I'm not saying it's your fault.

- 'Cause it's not.

- Well, it's a red flag.

Okay? Uh, they're looking

for anything.

Sh*t.

Now, somehow, I was a little

more concerned about Jake

than how it might

affect his chances.

- Excuse me?

- I just..

Maybe we've got things

a little backwards here.

Hey, hey, that is not fair.

Being concerned for his chances

is being concerned for Jake.

Yeah, I realized that.

And frankly, if you're

worried about him

being teased at Sibley Hall

maybe you ought to think about

what it'd be like for him

some place where

the teacher's got 40 kids

crammed into a class

half the size.

You think this won't

happen again?

Okay, fine.

So don't tell me

I'm not concerned about Jake.

I mean..

Okay, I'm not a crazy mom, Alex.

I don't want to hoard him.

I want him to have

his father in his life

but he needs routine right now.

- It's so important at this age.

- Of course.

I mean, honestly,

I shouldn't even complain.

It's..

It's a good thing that he wants

to be involved. I just..

I honestly think sometimes

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