A League of Their Own Page #4

scratched your balls for an hour.

Yeah, well, anything worth doing

is worth doing right.

Yes, indeed.

Until you did that, I couldn't tell

if you were drunk or dead.

It was made very clear to me

what I'm supposed to do here.

I smile...

...wave my little hat, and I did that.

So when do I get paid?

You have some good ballplayers.

If you'll only give them...

Ballplayers!

I haven't got ballplayers!

I've got girls!

Girls are what you sleep with after

the game, not what you coach during it.

If we paid you more, could you be

just a little more disgusting?

Well, I could certainly use the money.

On the home front...

...they find them everywhere...

...North, East, South and West,

and even Canada:

Players for the new

All-American Girls' Baseball League.

After a month of league play...

...the shine still isn't off

these Diamond Gals.

Alice "Skeeter" Gaspers says:

"Legging out a triple is no reason

to let your nose get shiny."

Betty Grable has nothing

on these gals.

Helen Haley has not only been on

several championship amateur teams...

...she's also an accomplished

coffeemaker.

Coffee.

With her husband in the Pacific...

...Betty Horn enjoys

cooking spaghetti and knitting.

Her teammates call her

"Betty Spaghetti."

Ellen Sue Gotlander is

a former Miss Georgia.

Then there's pretty Dottie Hinson...

...who plays like Gehrig

and looks like Garbo.

Fellas, keep your mitts to yourself.

She's married.

And there's her kid sister Kit,

who's as single as they come.

Enough concentrated "oomph" for

a whole carload of Hollywood starlets.

And how about Marla Hooch?

What a hitter!

What a league!

- But girls playing baseball?

- She's out!

She's out!

Yeah!

Game ball!

That's good work.

She can hit that ball.

- Enjoy that?

- Yeah!

- Good. Come back next game, will you?

- Good hitting. Good hitting. Take care.

- Take care.

- Mr. Dugan?

I'm Evelyn Gardner.

Yeah. I play right field.

For us.

I see...

I just spoke to my husband last night.

He says I can't leave our son

with him at home anymore.

See, he says he's too busy

reading the want ads...

...and... And...

...I should just take him with me

and shut up about it. So can I?

Take my son with me on road trips?

Ballplayers...

Well, he's the sweetest little boy.

Everyone's just gonna love him.

What's going on? Hey!

Get this brat off of me!

- Oh, thank God.

- Are you all right?

That's it! I quit!

- Stilwell, come to Mommy.

- That kid is trouble.

- You're too young to drive.

- I will. Watch.

Evelyn. Evelyn!

I'm sorry, but I'm gonna have to

kill your son!

No, Mae! Mae!

Wait! The girls have a game!

You can't leave like this!

Please, Mr. Goosatelli!

Get over here, Stilwell!

I'm gonna kill you!

- Mae!

- You can't catch me!

Don't use my bat, use Marla's!

It's heavier!

- Evelyn, why is he so wild?

- I don't know.

Stilwell, angel,

have another chocolate bar.

Gimme! Gimme! Gimme!

You can't. You can't leave us like this.

We're in the middle of nowhere!

- We can't be here! Please!

- No!

No.

Keep him away from me.

He's really a sweetie, Dottie.

- I hope I have five just like him.

- Don't eat the wrapper, honey.

Dottie.

- You gonna come with us?

- Where you going?

A roadhouse called the Suds Bucket.

No, you know, I'm married. I'm...

Come on, Dottie, you ain't on the farm

anymore. Live a little bit.

Girls! Girls! Please!

Mr. Goosatelli shan't be returning.

How are you gonna

get past Miss Cuthbert?

- Mae's gonna poison her dinner.

- What?

Mr. Dugan.

- Mr. Dugan!

- What is it, baby?

What the hell is going on?!

- Why are we stopped?

- Lou quit.

Who's Lou?

The driver.

A car could've came by now.

- Come on, you girls!

- What?

- Get on the bus!

- What did he say? Was that English?

I loved you in The Wizard of Oz.

Hey, who's in my seat?

In the 43 years I've practiced medicine,

never saw a woman throw up that much.

Maybe that's how

she entertains herself, doc.

Oh, yes, yeah. There we go.

Good, good.

Hurry, come on.

Quiet.

- Mae, what did you give her?

- Oh, now, what a shame.

- Who cares? It's working.

- I wouldn't wear those shoes again.

I'm going, baby!

Come on, way to go, Mae!

I'm coming in, Mae!

- Come on, doll.

- God.

Catch me!

Did you see me, Kit? I pretzeled!

Doris. Look how Mae is...

- How did you learn how to do that?

- She taught me.

My father owns a dance hall, upstate.

Vinnie's Dance Girls Deluxe.

She was one of the dancers,

I was a bouncer.

All right, let's go.

You were great!

- Thanks for the ride, kid.

- What's your rush, dollbody?

What do you say we slip in the back seat

and you make a man out of me?

What do you say I smack you around

for a while?

Can't we do both?

- I'm not hot. It's fine.

- That's the one I like right there.

It's really cold.

- That's better.

- Where's Kit? Hi.

I think she's on the dance floor.

There she is.

I got my truck parked outside.

Kit. Hey.

Sorry, we gotta go. Come on.

Alice, come on.

Guys, we gotta go. We got trouble.

- I knew it. You killed Miss Cuthbert.

- We'll bury her. I know a guy...

It's Lowenstein. He's on his way.

He catches us, we're out of the league.

Let's make like a bread truck

and haul buns, ladies.

- See you, Mae.

- Let's duck out the back door.

Is this all of you? Marla didn't come?

She came.

Yeah, well, where is she?

There.

- What did you do to her?

- Nothing, we just gave her a dress.

And a lot of liquor.

That's right. You gave her liquor.

I'm saying...

All right, you guys go ahead.

I'll get Marla.

Hurry up.

- Dottie.

- Hurry up, ladies!

Thanks.

Marla?

Marla, honey? We gotta go.

Come on.

I'm singing to Nelson! Ain't I, baby?

You sure are.

- Marla, come on.

- No!

I could take her home.

- It'd be an honor.

- Ain't he something?

That's the second time he dropped

that Bible since she's been in there.

Come on, girls.

- Mae, what'd you say?

- Everything.

"Here's a good job for you, Jimmy.

Managing girl ballplayers.

You just go out there and you wave

your little hat around.

Don't drink!"

Why would I want to drink?

I'm a goddamn Peach!

Double play.

Now I'm hitting like a girl.

"But be nice to them.

They're good ballplayers."

There, catch that, blondie!

Now batting for the Rockford Peaches...

...number 5, center fielder...

...Mae Mordabito!

- Come on, no hitter, no hitter.

Here's the pitch.

There's a shot into right center!

It's up the alley!

- Go to third!

- Turning around first! Digging up dirt!

She's heading past second.

- Go to third!

- Heading into third!

Dirt in the skirt, Mae!

Dirt in the skirt!

- Safe!

- In there with a triple!

Time.

Boy, did she smack that one

right on the kisser.

No wonder they call her

"All-the-Way" Mae.

Triple.

Next batter...

...number 32, second baseman,

Marla Hooch. Hooch.

Evelyn, look at this!

I've got Stilwell's snack on my cleat!

Marla!

- What's the signal?

- Keep your eye on it, Marla.

What are you, stupid?

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