A Letter to Three Wives Page #2

Hollingsway and Phipps.

From the dear departed, Ill bet.

Addie's so tactful.

She even puts us in alphabetical order.

- Open it up.

- No, let's wait.

- For what?

- Till we get back. Knowing Addie...

I mean, why let her spoil our day?

Not my day. Addie Ross never

saw the day she could spoil my day.

Did I put enough days into that?

Dearest Debby,

Lora Mae and Rita.

As you know by now, you'll have to

carry on without me from here.

It isn't easy to

leave a town like our town,

to tear myself away from

you three dear, dear friends

who have meant so much to me.

And so I consider myself extremely lucky

to be able to take with me

a sort of memento.

Something to remind me always

of the town that was my home,

and of my three very dearest friends

whom I want never to forget.

And I won't.

You see, girls, Ive run off with one

of your husbands. Addie.

If that's her idea of a joke,

it's in extremely poor taste.

If I ever catch up with that character, Ill...

Ladies, may I suggest...

The captain seems to think...

Well, he's been rude about it.

Well, looks like Addie has crowned

one of us Queen of the May.

I think it's laughable.

- Okay. Laugh.

- Ha.

Deborah didn't happen to mention

why Brad had to go to the city, did she?

He hasn't missed a Saturday

on that golf course

since they got the snow off the greens.

All right, kids.

Get 'em while they're red hot.

Its gonna be a real restful day.

Nothing to think about except

the picnic and the weenie roast,

and coming home.

Oh, that. Kathleen's going

to read us a fairy story.

Fairy story? My favorite kind.

I grew up on them.

Only I wrote my own.

May I start now, Mrs. Bishop?

If you're ready, Kathleen. Of course.

- "Once..."

- Once.

"Once upon a time,

there lived a very poor girl

"who was very beautiful.

"She was so beautiful..."

Do you

remember your first night in town?

You and Brad, fresh out of the navy.

That was a first Saturday in May too.

- Is it Brad?

- Is it Brad?

Ohhh.

Here now, what's this?

Conduct unbecoming and officer and a lady.

Im such an unholy mess!

- How?

- This!

- A little too kinky maybe?

- She must've set it with cement.

Mm. Here try this. Itll take

the kink out of a watch spring.

Im no raving beauty, heaven knows,

but I did so wanna look

my miserable best tonight.

The very first time we've gone out together

all dressed up like civilians.

And you would be

the one man in the world

that looks even better out

of uniform than in.

Got the jumps, kid?

Its been quite a day, that's all.

Quite a change.

Out of the navy, out of uniform.

New home, new town, new friends.

Oh, I told that blasted girl

I wanted to comb it out soft!

Its making me look even more

like a farmhand than I feel.

- Easy does it.

- Meeting your friends for the first time.

You wouldn't want them

to see me like this.

I should hope not.

You be sure to put on a dress.

- Hey! My tie.

- You can tie it again.

There they are.

Brad, about my dress, you might not like it.

If you're in it, Ill love it.

Its my only one and years old. Remember

there wasn't time today to get a new one,

and even years ago,

it wasn't exactly the last word.

That was the last word. Hurry up.

Which ones are they?

I wanna have it right.

Rita and George Phipps.

We all grew up together.

He teaches at the high school,

they have twins,

and she just got a job

writing for the radio.

Did you like her very much,

when you grew up together, I mean.

Rita and George were engaged

at the age of five by swapping beetles.

- She was never my type.

- What is your type?

Fat, squat, little brunettes

with mustaches.

Get going, and take another whack

at that hair.

The original will be down

in person directly.

- Brad! Hi, darling.

- Hello, Rita.

- George.

- Hello, Brad. You look fine.

- I feel fine.

- Good to see you.

What's this I hear about twins?

You look like a fugitive from a junior prom.

Oh, not next to that, I don't.

- Brad, she's adorable.

- My personal share of navy surplus.

She certainly doesn't look

as if she grew up on a farm.

Darling, Im sure she took

the hay out of her mouth

while she was being photographed.

Don't be funny, dear.

What I meant was that from Brad's letter,

I imagined all sorts of...

Well, anyway, just where on Fifth Avenue

was this farm she came from?

Its like music to hear

you two pick at each other.

Oh, we've declared

an armistice for tonight

out of respect for your battle fatigue.

Fine. Well, here it is again.

The first Saturday night in May.

And here we are.

You two, Porter and Lora Mae.

We'll all be together again,

just the way it used to be.

Well, not exactly as it used to be.

It seems there's been a change

in one of the characters.

Yeah. Not exactly the same old six.

Tell me, how is Addie?

Rita and George, Deborah.

Debby, Rita and George Phipps.

They were with me the day

I swallowed my first worm

and I hope will be there

when I swallow my last.

That's the most disgusting

introduction I ever heard.

- Hello, Deborah. Welcome.

- Thank you.

- How do you do, Deborah?

- How do you do?

Well, the occasion calls for a drink,

a quick one, because we're late.

- We've been admiring your photograph.

- Yes.

Its a very flattering one.

Maybe it's the uniform.

For some reason or other, I always seem

to be wearing a full beard in photographs.

- You know, even in snapshots as a child, I...

- Give me a hand, George.

Excuse me.

I don't think it's particularly flattering.

Nice of you to say so, but it is.

Well, here's to Deb. And here's to us

and many happy returns of this day.

- Ill drink to that.

- Amen.

Now, if I can remember

my way to the club...

Oh, before we go, I have to call

the house and see if the sitter's showed up.

- Its Sadie's night out.

- Well, why not call from upstairs?

I have to get my bag anyway.

Good idea.

Now, don't make a tribal ceremony

out of it, girls. We're late now.

George and I will get the car

and wait outside.

- Mm-hmm.

- Remember, we'll be waiting outside.

- Uh-huh.

- Ready, George?

Mm? Oh.

They finally put a traffic light

at that dip on Orchard Avenue.

Yeah?

The Mayor cracked

his upper plate there last Christmas.

All the doors and windows are locked.

Don't worry about them.

What?

Certainly not. They're old enough

to do that by themselves.

We'll be at the country club.

Fine. Good night.

Well...

- Something wrong?

- No.

The bugle sounds.

I think Ive got a sick headache

and can't go.

Then there is something wrong.

Me. Im wrong.

What do you mean? How?

Every which way.

For Brad. For his friends.

You, your husband,

the others I haven't met yet.

The country club. The town.

Im scared. Im so scared, Im sick.

Isn't there a nice baseball game

or something

you children can listen to on the radio?

- What's going on up there?

- Im...

Im having a little slip trouble.

- Oh. Hurry it up!

- Uh-huh.

Looks like somebody

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes