A Letter to Three Wives Page #3

had a lot of martinis.

I did.

What are you so scared of?

Its worst than my first night

in the WAVES.

And Id never been away from home

before up until then.

But we were all in the same spot.

Everything was happening

to all of us for the first time.

And here you're

the only new girl, is that it?

Look. You're Brad's wife and our friend.

We want you here

and we've waited for you.

Now, why shouldn't that make you feel

safe and secure instead of being scared?

You can't be safe and secure

by just telling yourself to feel it.

Unless, maybe, you've got twins

and a job of your own

and grown up with your husband

and friends.

Oh, Im sorry. I didn't mean that.

Blame it on the martinis.

You know, counting ice water,

we could squeeze two more

out of this shaker.

Oh, no. No.

Ive had more tonight than all the rest

of my life put together.

What was it like at home?

Or should I mind my own business?

Ever read in the picture magazines

about Farmer So-and-so

and his model farm, kitchen and life?

Well, it wasn't us

or anybody we knew.

Papa'd just get through

paying for the thresher

in time to start paying

on the new separator.

Till I was 13, a bus took me three miles

that way to grammar school.

Till I was 17, another bus took me

1 miles that way to high school.

And after that, I stayed home.

Till one day I took a bus

58 miles that way

to join the navy and see the world.

And meet Brad "Bripaship."

Fall in love and marry Brad "Bripaship."

Why not?

"Why not?" I said to myself.

I was quite a girl in the navy.

Head of my class. Hooray for me.

And pretty cute in that uniform.

That uniform, it's the great "leveleller."

You couldn't tell me

from Vassar or Smith or Long Island.

That was the girl in the picture on

the piano. That isn't me. This is me.

What do you people talk about?

Years of growing up together. Thousands

of first names and private memories.

How do I fit in? Running a house,

making friends, filling the day.

Mrs. Bradbury Bishop.

"What's she like?"

"Fun to be with, smart as a whip,

pretty too.

"No wonder Brad Bishop married her,

the lucky stiff."

Rita, look at me.

Look at my mail-order dress

that's four years old and awful even then.

What am I gonna do?

As if that really mattered.

You must think we're

an awful bunch of snobs.

Aren't you underestimating us

a little bit and Brad even more?

You know, it's just possible

he knew what he wanted and you had it.

And if you had it, you still got it.

I can't hear you. Sit up.

I said, "Thank you

for the kind words."

You're welcome. Now, about the dress.

- Haven't you anything else?

- Only uniforms.

Oh. Well, stand up.

- The flowers must go.

- Flowers must go.

Have you any scissors?

- Scissors?

- Oh.

Ill get the ones on the sleeves.

You tackle the big one in the middle.

- Careful now.

- Careful now.

Now look what I did!

Oh. You don't want

a bare midriff, do you?

Tsk. Well, back goes the flower.

Sit down. Have you

got any safety pins?

- Bottom drawer.

- Oh.

- More wine?

- Thank you. No.

Not much at dancing.

It makes me nervous.

- Does it?

- Whatever I do, I wanna do well.

Can't do a thing well,

leave it alone, I always say.

I think I will have

a little more wine, thank you.

Thank you very much.

Especially the rumba.

Gotta have Spanish blood or something,

like my wife.

Comes from an old Spanish family

named Finney.

In many South American countries

there are many very distinguished families

with Irish names.

Lora Mae looks good with Brad.

Looks like class. But it's him, not her.

If she was dancin' with a tramp,

she'd look like a tramp.

Got no class of her own.

I like class.

- You like class?

- Oh, very much.

You hit the jackpot.

Brad Bishop, class plus money.

Yes, sir. The jackpot and you hit it.

Count 'em on the fingers

of one hand in this town,

throw away some fingers even.

There's Brad and who else?

Yeah. There's Addie.

Addie? Addie who?

Ross. Addie Ross.

Funny. People always figured

Brad and Addie would...

Brad and Addie what?

The samba can be danced properly

only on the side of a hill on ice.

Alibi. He was afraid

of getting wrinkles in his new suit.

Oh, my first new party dress in years,

thanks to my dear wife

and her millions of listeners,

including the armed forces overseas.

Shall we drink to them all, one by one?

How about some coffee?

George. I think your tuxedo has got class,

George.

We thank you.

Funny thing for a wife

to give her husband a tuxedo.

An even funnier thing

for a husband to give his wife.

Come on, Deborah.

While the coffee's nice and hot.

You're so funny, George.

I still don't think a woman

oughta buy clothes for a man.

- Its about time they start.

- Contrary to nature.

Oh, tell us about nature, Porter.

Its a man's world, yeah.

See something you want,

go after it and get it. That's nature.

Its why we're made strong

and women weak.

Strong conqueror provides for the weak.

That's what a man's for.

Teach our kids more of that,

there'll be more men.

And more war. Leave my kids out.

But those standards

don't apply to me, Porter,

because in this man's world,

Im not a man.

- Im a schoolteacher.

- The dance is over.

I knew we'd get around to that.

All right.

Schoolteachers oughta get paid more.

And what happens if they're not?

How does a schoolteacher

provide for the weak?

How does he pay the rent

with the plays and poems of Shakespeare?

Have you been shooting off

your big mouth again?

You just shut up till

it's time to dance again.

Let me tell you about nature

making men strong.

Einstein couldn't kick a football

across this dance floor

but he changed the shape of the universe.

Now, take it easy, everybody.

This is getting a little out of hand.

You never know what he'll come up with

when he starts knocking

on that brandy bottle.

You shut up. You just shut up.

Isnt it fun, Deborah?

We're all pals. You know, buddies.

Just one big happy family.

- Why, Brad!

- Not me, but it's a good idea.

With the compliments of Mrs. Addie Ross.

Oh, Porter, you were saying

something about her and Brad.

Addie.

John, where is Mrs. Ross?

I don't believe she's arrived yet,

Mr. Bishop.

That's Addie for you.

Always the right thing at the right time.

- Thoughtful and generous.

- Generous to a fault.

To a fault. That's Addie.

Who is Mr. Ross?

Mr. Ross took a powder

about five years ago.

No such thing.

She gave him the heave-ho.

He went out for a paper one night

and never came back.

Porter says Addie Ross has got class.

And he knows class

like I know navigation.

You stick to your guns, Porter.

It shows a healthy instinct.

You may call it "class,"

but what Addie has is taste.

I can buy taste. Addie's got class.

Taste and discrimination.

Women usually get them out of magazines,

but they're part of

Addie's natural equipment.

Also fog lights,

white sidewalls and a heater.

Isnt it fun, Deborah,

when the boys all agree?

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