A Little Bit Zombie

Ah!

- Come on Penny, call it.

Where the f*** are they?

- Uh... there!

- Brains!

- I can shoot through ya!

Right in the kisser.

- You know you don't have

to take such pleasure Max.

That used to be a human being.

- Shut it, Penny! Remember,

Direction is critical. I wanna

hear one o'clock, two o'clock,

three o'clock--

- Ten to ten!

- Whoa!

- Christ, Penny,

little help would be nice.

- OK!

- Old school.

- Nice.

Show off.

- Well?

- Uh...

um... I don't know.

I'm getting

multiple readings.

- Multiple readings,

piece of sh*t. Soo-eee!

Zombie, zombie, zombie,

zombie, zombie, zombie.

Soo-eee!

Brains.

Brains.

- Looks like this party's

just getting started.

- Brains.

- Brains.- ?

- Eww!

Shh, Tina.

You'll wake Sarah and Craig.

It's just a bug.

- I'm sorry, Steve,

I'm just not really

used to all this...

nature.

- Don't worry, the family

cottage is very modern.

The outhouse is barely

- Ha-ha, very funny.

OK, I need you

to focus.

Think head table. Ready?

A?

Or B?

- Uh... A?

- Oh, my God, I'm so happy

that you said that, 'cause

otherwise I would have

had to order in the yellow

orchids from Thailand, and

I think they almost

look the same.

- Almost.

Why don't you put that away

for now, Tina?

You did promise you were gonna

have fun this weekend.

- You're sweet.

I promise to have fun.

- Good.

- 'Cause I scheduled it

in the itinerary.

- Um...

- I'm just joking.

That's not

the itinerary

for the weekend. This is.

- Tina--

- Look, Steve,

there's still so much to do,

and you've been so busy

with your whole work

human resource thingy.

- Workplace conflict

resolution initiatives.

- Yes,

you've had all that stuff.

I guess I'm just feeling

overwhelmed.

I know that 300 people may seem

like a small guest list.

- 300 people?

- But in my family,

it's tiny.

I've had to make

a lot of compromises

for this wedding,

which I'm happy to do,

but I just want this

to be a special day

for both of us.

- It will be, baby.

I promise you.

- No doubt in my mind.

- Roll over.

- Your sister snores like a man.

- I know. It's cute.

- Yeah.

I never thought my matron

of honour would snore

louder than my husband, but...

- Tina.

- It's just that

your sister and I are...

different.

- I know,

and I'm very happy

that you chose her

to be your maid of honour.

- Matron.

She's married, and older.

- Well, it really means

a lot to me.

- Aw, honey,

you mean a lot to me.

And you mean

a lot to Muffins!

- You mean a lot

to me too, Muffins.

Yes you do.

Yes you do.

- Aww.

So cute!

- Gross, Steve.

Those things eat their own sh*t.

- What are you talking about?

Germans?

- Tina's rodent.

- Sarah, would you like

to hold him?

- No.

- I would. Gimme

this little sh*t eater.

Ah. Ahhh.

- Get it away!

- Would you look

at us?

One big happy family

on vacation.

- Yeah,

it's gonna be great.

- Yep.

I spy

with my little eye

something that is...

fluffy.

Ha-ha-ha! You're

talking about the rabbit!

I am talking about

the rabbit! You got it

on the first go!

This is

why we're together!

You're good!

Aaaaaaand...

here we are.

So? What do you think

of the Williams family cottage?

- Uh...

It's... charming.

- Baby, I told you

we're roughing it.

- Sarah!

I need to know

where the cleaning products are.

We really need to give

this place a once over.

- Yes, Miss Tina.

Right aways,

Miss Tina.

- They hate each other.

- Yep.

- I thought asking her

to be her maid of honour would

bring them closer together.

- Well, b*tches are crazy.

Even when they like each other,

they hate each other.

- Maybe they

really like each other.

- No, those b*tches

really hate each other.

- Well, I deal with conflict

resolution opportunities

like this every day.

I think I can, uh--

- No, listen, buddy, seriously,

your whole corporate Jedi mind

sh*t, it's not gonna work for

your team-building skills here.

- I got a few activities planned

I think will help mend

this relationship.

- Mmm. And I have

a few activities planned

that'll help us get sh*t faced!

- Craig, you're family.

I need you on board

this weekend.

You're my best man!

- You are so...

sexy right now.

- Craig,

I'm being serious.

- And our balls are

kinda touching.

It's OK, we're family.

It's OK.

All right, don't mention that.

That one's free.

- Steve, honey, let's see.

Oh, well, look at you.

You're getting there. Craig?

Wow, Craig,

those are perfect.

- Yeah,

can I drink now, please?

- Oh, God, this is brutal!

This is the cottage.

We're supposed to be having fun.

- Its just one more hour,

OK, guys? I mean, we're almost

done the place cards, and then

all we have to do is

pick out the readings,

make the photographer's list,

we're gonna rehearse

the speeches real quick--

- Babe... Sarah's right.

This is our first night here.

Why don't we play a game

or something?

- Yes! I'll grab the beers.

- What kind of game?

- Now, the object of this game

is to untangle ourselves

without letting go

of each other's hands.

- Steve, is this

a team-building exercise?

- It's a team-building GAME.

- So it's like a party game?

- It's kinda like a party game.

- It's kinda like retarded.

- Sarah, we have to work

together as a team.

- Can I get my beer?

- No,

we can't let go of each other's

hands, and we can't talk.

- I can't drink

and I can't talk?

- Non-verbal cues only.

- All right, fine.

- Starting...

- Ow!

- Sorry.

- Just...

go under there.

- Guys! Remember the rules.

There's no talking.

- Oh, God. Time out. Time out.

I can't breath!

Oh, my God!

- I'm sorry. I tried to go

under your arm, but I got stuck

in your underarm fa-

- My what?

- OK, let's play another game,

shall we?

- What, did my matronly

underarm fat get in your way?

- Oh, Sarah,

don't be so dramatic.

- I'm dramatic? You're the one

who's wedding is taking over

our vacation.

- Well, if you really

feel that way, then maybe

I shouldn't have made you

my matron of honour instead of

one of my real friends!

- Hey, let's get drunk!

How does that sound?

- Way ahead of you, buddy.

- Fine! I don't want

to be your god damned matron!

- Fine!

- Fine!

- Calm down!

Let's get a little fresh air.

- Nobody wants fresh air

but you, Steve.

- Ah. Ow.

Will you please just--

What the...?

Ow! Ow!

Ow!

- Steve, what is wrong with you?

- Ow! Jesus! Ow!

- Steve?

- Ow!

Ah! Ah!

- Oh, my God! Steve!

- Holy f***, dude!

Are you all right?

- It just kept coming at me.

I thought I killed it,

and then it bit me again.

- Whoa! That's a lot of blood.

- Oh, honey, are you all right?

- No, he's gonna be fine,

all right? Some dudes just can't

take the sight of their own

blood. Like, I was sword fishing

once, and buddy was casting off,

and he catches his buddy's nose,

and, like, rips like half of it

off, there's blood everywhere--

- I think I'm gonna be sick.

- All right, that is it.

Party is over.

We are going to bed.

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