A Little Help Page #3
No, you don't have
to do anything.
I want to, okay?
Oh.
Oh, God.
Okay.
Laura, stop!
F***!
I'm sorry. What?
I don't know. Ow!
(Groaning)
I'm...
Help me!
(Crash)
I'm sorry.
(Screeches)
Open again, please.
Yeah, there's definitely something
going on with that molar.
I'm gonna have Dr. Kellman take a look
after we finish with your cleaning.
Woman:
Laura?Yes?
What are you doing here?
Well, right now
I have Mr. Daniels,
and then I have a 10:00
and a 10:
30.Laura, today
is your husband's funeral.
Not till 3:
00.(Screeches)
# Darlin', do be alarmed #
# the other foot's
about to fall #
# and the wicked ways
of your love #
# are catching up to you, doll #
# Now whoever's been sleepin' #
# in your bed is gone #
# Your eyes on the bottle #
# your clothes on the lawn #
# You stand alone, sweetheart #
She actually came to work today.
I couldn't believe my eyes.
Well, you know, they say work
can be therapeutic.
Not in my office, it ain't.
That doctor was only
in there for five minutes.
He didn't take a family history,
he only did one stupid test.
He might as well have
just killed Bob himself.
Just strangled him
with piano wire.
More cake?
These things are so sad
and awful.
Yeah. Actually, this is
my second one this year.
My father died
back in January.
Oh, I'm sorry.
Oh, yeah, thanks,
but it was for the best.
Oh, had he been ill?
No.
Wait, I'm trying
to explain something.
I was the only reporter
the entire season, and not
because I went easy on him,
because I understood the
complexities of his situation.
You gotta use your brain.
It was a whole different universe back then.
You gotta understand.
When I lost my husband, God rest his
soul, I thought my life was over.
But you know what?
Here I am. Here I am.
Uh-huh.
singles,
and I'm on the board
Does that sound like
my life is over?
No.
No, it doesn't,
does it?
No.
Man on TV:
When the Metsdesperately needed it,
on a day when Mike Piazza
has left base runners...
they pitch...
How ya doin', champ?
##
What's going on?
I feel like I'm in trouble
or something.
Don't joke, Laura.
I wasn't.
Look, Laurie,
it's nothing bad,
we just want to help you
sort out some things right now.
Okay.
I mean, you're devastated,
we all are,
but there are things
that need to be taken care of...
Important things that no one was
thinking about until two days ago.
(Sighs)
Like what?
Well, first of all,
finances.
What's the situation?
Like, what investments, how much life
insurance did Bob set up... do you know?
Um, not offhand.
But, overall, are you set up
to get enough income?
I don't...
You don't know?
You don't know if you're gonna be able to
pay your mortgage and feed your child?
Not offhand.
Kathy, just...
Keep going.
All right, look,
Paul and I know a good lawyer.
Now, he is willing to sit down
and go over things with you
and help you figure out
where you're at.
About me?
Yes, Laura, I talked to him
about you, because obviously
you're not thinking about
Did you consider
asking me first? It is my life.
She is only trying to help you.
Now, frankly, I think you
should show her a little bit...
(Warren urinating)
For Christ's sake, Warren,
close the door!
I'm trying to stay
in the conversation, all right?
(Warren passes gas)
(Sighs)
(Starts urinating again)
Go and talk
to the attorney, Laura.
There is something else, too.
Dennis.
Your father and I feel
very strongly that,
when the school year begins,
you must switch him from public
school to Newbury Friends School.
Now, we are prepared
to pay his entire tuition.
Mom, I told you this
six months ago,
he doesn't want to go, okay?
We only applied
because you made us.
He needs the structure.
He needs the attention
they can provide.
Mother, it doesn't
make any sense
for us to commute from Port
to Huntington.
It's a half-hour drive, he doesn't
know any of the other kids there.
You listen to me,
young lady!
Without his father around,
that boy is in trouble...
Deep trouble.
And he needs more help
than he can get from a mother
who is nothing more than a spoiled,
self-indulgent teenager.
You do this, you know.
You bring this on yourself.
(Chuckles)
Okay, then.
##
- Hey.
- Hey.
Wow.
He's getting really,
really good.
I know, isn't he?
When he was a kid, he was just
this sweet, dumb f***-up,
but he always had soul.
It was just a matter
of how it was gonna come out.
- Well, there it is.
- Yeah.
Maybe taking him with me
to the radio station
all these years,
maybe that helped.
I don't know.
You're a good dad, Paul.
(Siren wailing)
Man on radio:
And it's backto school day, kiddies...
pencils, books, dirty looks,
the whole nine yards.
I had to drag my kids
into the car this morning.
Of course,
it was 4:
00am.Gee, they hate it
when DJ Dad has to carpool.
For those feeling
their pain,
here's Long Island's own
Eddie Money.
# Baby, hold on to me #
You really have your kids now,
or was that just bullshit?
Huh? Your kids.
They living with you again?
(Chuckles) No, the ex wants
to take 'em back to Pakistan.
You believe that sh*t?
F***in' c*nt.
I bet if you went
to Pakistan, she'd stay here.
(All laugh)
It's not funny, asswipes!
What the f***
are you laughing at, f***er?
# I'm gonna take you
to the top #
- It's supposed to be...
- (Both) A great school, great school.
Yeah, I know.
Well, it is.
And it's a chance
to make...
New friends.
Check.
I'm sure I'll make thousands.
# Would you hold on to me? #
Can I come in with you?
Just today,
because it's the first day.
No.
Why not?
It's gay.
I have time.
It's up to you.
People, make sure to leave
plenty of time for the rain,
'cause as my ol' grandma used
to say, it's a mofo out there!
(Honks)
(Bell rings)
(Sighs)
No, no, it has to happen
this month, Alan.
Because it has to,
that's why.
Yeah, okay, fine, then just tell
him it's not gonna happen at all.
'Cause this isn't a game, Alan.
This is not a game! Come on!
I'm sorry. I had to take that.
It's fine.
Lot of dishonest,
scummy people out there.
Not a problem.
Okay. So, I went over all
the material that you sent me,
plus what I got
from your accountant.
Here, let me give you that.
Okay.
What is it?
Oh, it's just a summarized version
of your financial information,
your equity, your debts, your
protected income, blah, blah, blah.
It's all summed up
on the last page there.
Do you mind if I set this down?
No, go ahead.
I don't wanna put it
on the horse books.
Oh, here, I'll take it.
- Really?
- Sure.
- Careful, it's dripping a little.
- So it is.
I don't even know why I drink those, because
they just make me have to pee so bad.
Do you now? Because...
Uh, no, no, no.
Actually, yes, but I can wait.
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