A Long Way Down Page #2

- OK.

- Just let me leave quietly.

- All right. OK.

- I've done nothing wrong.

Nothing wrong?

Taking her to bed! Nothing wrong?

Where is she? Where's Jess?

We need to find her.

- You need to talk to her.

- She won't talk.

She'll just chase me

with a bread knife.

Oh, tonight she was prepared to end her

life because of what you did to her.

- Maureen, don't.

- What?

Yeah, that's where we met her,

at the top of a tower block.

- Preparing to...

- What?

Hey! Hey, it's Jess. Come on.

- How's she doing?

- Ready?

- Hey, Jess.

- Do you know what she took?

I don't know. Drugs, alcohol.

You know, the usual.

- Are you her father? Next of kin?

- No, I'm not. No, no, no, I'm not.

- I need to know her name.

- I only, uh... She's called Jess.

- Sir, I need her full name.

- None of us knew her before tonight.

You need to wait here.

- She's got no identification on her, no nothing.

- Yeah, well,

she probably didn't want to

make identification easy.

She likes things,

you know, difficult.

Hmm, hospitals... Not a fan.

Good drugs, though.

Mmm!

You late for something?

I just

need to make sure I'm home to

make Matty some breakfast.

- Matty?

- My son.

- You have a son?

- Yes.

His breakfast is quite complicated.

I don't, er...

Look, if I... If I'm not going to die

tonight, it's important that he...

He doesn't know anything

that happened...

Here she comes.

Oh, boy.

Uh...

OK.

I've just got a few

things to clarify.

Uh, number one,

my gown's open-backed, 'cos

they've stolen my clothes,

so I'm just gonna do a twirl for you right

now and you can have a look at my arse.

Just once. It's not

my best feature,

but that's something that you'll probably

find out the more we get to know one another.

Uh, number two, it... It really...

It wasn't an overdose,

it was just an accident.

- Jess...

- Honestly. I just... I took all these pills

and then... And then I took some more.

But it was... It was just for fun.

I'd never kill myself

by taking pills.

I'd probably do

something really cool,

like jumping off the

top of a tower block.

Jess, we were worried.

Was I on number three? Erm...

I think I was on number four.

I just wanted to say,

thank you so much for caring,

because I really, um...

I really, really appreciate it.

He was worried. I was trying to work

out what we were still doing here.

Number five. I think I was on

number f... something... six...

F***.

Is... is it just me?

Because it's...

It's really f***ing

cold out here, guys.

It's really cold.

Come here. Come here now.

- Come on in. Come on.

- Yes. Hmm?

Thanks.

Psst.

Hmm.

When is the next date after New Year's

Eve when everybody kills themselves?

- Why?

- Valentine's Day.

That's six weeks away.

OK, here's the deal.

Nobody kills themselves until then.

Why?

I mean, why would

we want to do that?

Why would we not want to kill ourselves

if and when and how we want, eh?

Come on, what's the alternative?

It's some sort of

race to the finish.

It's me checking the

obituaries every week

to see if Martin Sharp is dead.

No of fence, guys, but I don't

think your deaths would

really make the papers.

Come on, it's six weeks.

It's not such a ridiculous idea.

Yes, Maureen. Has

anybody got a pen?

- Can I have some paper as well?

- Paper.

Great. Thanks.

"The undersigned do hereby promise

"not to kill themselves

"before Valentine's Day."

Maureen, sign just

wherever you like.

Pizza boy.

- But it's...

- You're dying anyway, hmm?

Martin Sharp.

Life-saver.

Superman.

Six weeks, Martin.

We'll all push you off the top

ourselves if it makes any difference.

It could be a little

Valentine's Day treat.

I'm pretty sure we're all

going to live to regret this.

Guys, look.

So, this is a new year, then.

Yeah.

Hang on. Maureen, just a

f***ing question here.

Have we just written our

pact on the back of your

- suicide note?

- Oh...

Yes, there is that.

My mum always likes to repeat

this story of me as a kid

being asked what I wanted

to be when I grew up.

I always used to say, "Invisible."

I don't know quite what prompted it,

but the thought of it stuck with me.

It was only later...

that I found out that invisibility is,

in fact, a technical possibility.

It was in this book that my

sister stole from the library

and I stole from my sister.

I followed her into crime.

Though she was better

at it than me.

She always sort of glowed innocence

whereas I, to this day,

just sort of radiate guilt.

Anyway, to be invisible is easy.

You just have to find a

way to diffract light.

Whoa! You trying to

get yourself killed?

I haven't managed it yet,

but I'm working on it.

I didn't just follow him.

I followed all of them.

And it wasn't stalking.

You stalk a deer in

order to kill it,

mount it, stick it on your wall and

tell the story of how f***ing brilliant

you are with a shotgun.

I didn't want to kill any of them.

I certainly didn't have any

interest in mounting them.

And I don't own a shotgun,

though I'd like one.

I just wanted to

check in, invisibly,

to check they were

sticking to the pact.

That's not stalking.

It's barely even espionage.

OK.

Now I know why you're ringing.

Pink flamingos fly

north on Tuesday.

Hello, Jess.

This is a top spy location, Dad.

It's hugely inconspicuous.

Look, um...

Where have you...?

This is a situation.

I've invited...

A situation is what you're

referring to it as?

How else would you refer to it?

I don't know, Dad.

Well, you did what you did.

Yeah, I tried to kill myself.

Jess, please don't put

words in my mouth.

This is hard enough.

- Is it, Dad?

- Yes.

Why are we doing this here?

Why can't we just do this at home?

Because the press will be there

and I'm trying to protect you.

Oh, yeah. Well, you've always been

really great at that, haven't you?

- Jess...

- What the hell are you doing here?

Uh...

- I was invited.

- You were invited?

Politician's daughter.

I was surprised.

I called his agent.

I thought we should all talk.

- You called his agent?

- Yeah.

He was delighted.

First call he'd had in awhile.

Was it you... Who

went to the press?

No!

I've been trying to figure

it out myself, but...

JJ?

He's too shy.

It's not Maureen.

No, no.

Hey, it was f***ing Chas.

Chas sold us.

My ex-wife rang this morning,

wanting to know what I'd done.

Asking me what she should

tell the children.

Oh, I'm gonna f***ing kill him.

She told me I seem to be the

only person in the whole world

that the press gets bang-on.

If they say I've slept with a

15-year-old, I generally have.

If they say I've contemplated

suicide, I generally have.

Yes, I read about

you with the girl.

You haven't... You two haven't...

- You're asking whether we've slept together?

- Jesus, really?

- You think I'd...

- Oh, Martin! At least I'm legal.

Yeah, and I value our friendship

too much to complicate it.

Do you plan to maintain your

relationship with Jess?

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