A Long Way Down Page #3

Yeah, of course he will.

We're in a gang.

- We're not in a gang.

- Yeah, you signed a pact.

Ah, yes, of course, the

pact. How could I forget?

Yeah, Jess and I are

friends for life now.

Now, look, Martin,

I'm sure I don't have to tell

someone with your media training

that what we...

What we have here is...

Is a media firestorm.

Yes, gentlemen, this

is a media firestorm.

- I'll leave you to it.

- Jess. Jess!

Why don't you invite him

to our family therapy?

You could do that. Why don't

you pay him to be you, Dad?

Martin doesn't want my money.

You don't, do you?

Has anyone ever told you

you're a bit of an idiot?

I'm a politician. That's

all they ever tell me.

- All right.

- Yep.

Yep. Good luck.

Yep.

This is the second tragedy

for the Crichton family

after the disappearance of older

sister, Jennifer two years ago.

Jennifer was never found,

and you have to wonder

how Shadow Education Secretary

Chris Crichton will cope

with this new strain upon him.

- Come on, then.

- Well done, boys.

Tragedy

When the feeling's wrong and

you can't go on. It's tragedy

When the morning cries and you

don't know why. It's hard to bear

With no one to love you

you're going nowhere

Tragedy

Jess?

Can I come in?

Shall I come in, Jess?

Where have you gone now?

Jess?

Hiya.

Wow!

This... This is Matty.

- My son.

- No, I mean... I mean...

Wow! You've just...

You've completely wowed me.

- Jess.

- What does that mean, 'wow'?

Like, wow, this is what

you've been hiding in here.

- Jess, enough.

- Sorry.

Sorry.

I wasn't leaving him that night.

There was...

Maureen, no one's

accusing you of anything.

Social services would have been

forced to pay for proper care.

I mean, the standard of care

they can provide, it's better.

And I don't hide him.

I've never hidden him, never.

Can we get back to the

matter in hand, hmm?

Yeah, we're all here to

figure out how to get them to

leave us all alone.

OK, I had three of them

call my cell today.

How'd they even get my number?

Yeah, how did Chas

even remember you?

Hey, wait. Is Chas behind this?

Yeah, I mean, you're quite cute

but you're infinitely forgettable.

They won't...

Leave us alone.

They'll find out where you

live, where Maureen lives.

- What, they'll be here?

- So, I've been...

I've been thinking.

What if we shift the goal posts?

- Goal posts?

- Yeah, make it our story, not theirs.

I mean, there's even the possibility

that we might be able to make some

money out of it.

- Money?

- Yeah, money.

That would be good for

Matty, wouldn't it?

I'm sure JJ would like

a break from pizzas.

And as an unemployed,

disgraced talk show host,

I could certainly do with it.

I don't... I don't want

Matty in the papers.

We... We can't stop that.

But, at least, this way we

won't lose out entirely.

By telling our story...

What... What story?

That we went up, then we

came back down again.

They've sold newspapers

off our backs.

- Isn't it time we got something out of it?

- I...

- Yes, OK.

- Good. Great.

Yeah?

- Well?

- Yeah, I mean, if you think it's...

If you think it's right,

Martin, yeah, I'm in.

I mean, I'm fine financially,

'cos, you know, I've got

my dad to nick from.

Oh.

But if we were to make

the story a fun one...

Let me tell you a story.

We were up there...

And we were ready to go

and we felt this... presence.

I would describe it...

As a light.

An ethereal glowing.

It was an angel.

We were visited by an angel.

And it looked like...

Like Matt Damon.

Matt Damon.

Oh, f*** it, yeah.

I'm... I'm with her.

- He looked like Matt Damon.

- Who's Matt Damon?

No, no, it wasn't really a

physical angel. It was more of a...

Is that what Jess told you?

What else did she say?

And he was naked and he said,

he literally decreed, "Thou

shalt not die tonight."

I mean, this is Matt

Damon, the naked angel.

- What?

- Maybe we shouldn't write all of this down.

Can I talk to your editor?

Used to be a good mate of mine.

Oh, an actor.

What films has he been in?

You're not actually gonna

print this, are you?

Yeah. Yeah, no, that's how it went.

I had an interesting

thing happen today.

- Did you?

- Let me guess.

Your second daughter humiliated you

on the pages of the national press?

Actually, no. I was in

the Members' Bar...

And somebody came up

to you and they said,

"Chris, was that your daughter on

the pages of the national press?"

People have laughed

at me for a long time,

but I did prefer it when

they didn't laugh at you.

An angel.

You told them you saw an angel.

- Chris.

- And did it look like Jennifer?

Is that what you were going to say?

No.

No, Dad, I...

I didn't tell them it

looked like Jennifer.

I told them that it

looked like Matt Damon.

Zoom in on camera two.

Penny, you're on in

three, two, one.

Many of us have been transfixed by

the story of the Topper House Four

and the angel that visited them.

And we are so lucky here on

Rise and Shine with Penny

to have them with us

in the studio today.

One of them certainly needs

no introduction. Martin.

Martin Sharp, my old co-host.

Penny, it's an honour to be back

on this old sofa again with you.

And I'd really like to

take this opportunity

to correct a few misconceptions

about this so-called angel...

And we will absolutely have

time for that, Martin,

but it would be remiss of me

not to begin the interview

with a bit of background

on what's been happening

to you in the last 12 months.

Yes, well, um...

Yes, well, Penny, currently I'm

juggling various job opportunities,

concentrating on being a father.

And, before that, I was in prison.

But what we'd actually

like to talk to you about

is what we allegedly

saw on the roof.

And, of course, the reason

that you were in prison

was for an inappropriate

relationship with an underage girl.

- That's right, Penny.

- And this incident,

this sex of fence, led you

to lose your job, your home,

your family and finally drove

you to suicidal feelings.

That's right, Penny.

Which is, of course, where...

Where he met you lovely people.

Yeah. Yeah, we, er...

We all met up there.

And where you saw your angel

that looked like Matt Damon.

- Tell me more.

- Hi. Sorry.

It wasn't an angel. It was...

It was more of a light.

We never agreed on an angel.

Now, Jess.

I really... Talk to the other

people before you come to me.

We know you mostly

through your father,

Shadow Education

Secretary, Chris Crichton.

You should probably talk

to JJ because he...

He is really interesting.

I'm sure he is.

I'm sure you're all fascinating.

But, Jess, our sympathies

lie particularly with you

because of the devastating

disappearance of your sister, Jennifer.

You should talk to Maureen.

Um... Her son lives in a cage.

But, Jess, let's focus on you.

It's OK.

Were you close?

Penny.

Why don't you ask someone

else a question?

My old co-host still trying

to co-host me there.

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