A Madea Christmas Page #10

Mama!

I am sorry, Conner.

- That's just nasty.

- Sorry, Son.

- But I like it.

- I know.

It can be fun. It can be.

That is so inappropriate.

You two need to learn how to

respect my daughter's house.

- Eileen, you might wanna let that go.

- No.

They come in here taking

advantage of her...

eating her food, and they're

acting like they own the place.

- I don't like it.

- You need to let that go.

Well, I don't like...

- Mama...

- that you...

Mama, sit down.

You cut down my family's memory tree.

That's what I don't like.

Excuse me?

I can deal with a lot of things.

They know it.

But this is downright wrong...

and now I am getting very upset!

Why would you plant his memory

tree on my daughter's land...

and how was I supposed to know that?

Oh, I don't know.

Maybe because it had a

yellow ribbon around it?

That doesn't mean anything.

In most countries, in most places,

to sane-thinking people...

a yellow ribbon means something.

Now you just calm down, missy. Okay?

Now, Lacey, are you gonna

let her talk to me like this?

- Mama, calm down.

- Put your finger down...

or I will cut it off and deep-fry it!

You need to leave my

daughter's house.

- Mama, stop it! Stop!

- No!

Eileen, you need to

stop right now, honey.

What are they doing here anyway?

Tomorrow is Christmas!

They are not your family!

- Let's get out of here.

- No, hold up.

Come on back here.

Ain't nobody going nowhere.

- Now, Madea...

- Ain't nobody goin' no damn where.

Madea, whose side are you on?

- Let 'em leave.

- No, I'm on the side of right.

- That's the side I'm on. Lacey?

- Yes.

- Tell your mama.

- What? Tell me what?

Spit it out before I punch you,

put your teeth down your throat!

Mama... Conner and I are married.

- Catch her.

- Get the defibrillator.

Lacey. Your father.

I know, Mama. I know he was

murdered by a white man, but...

- What happened?

- What?

My father was killed by a

white man on Christmas Eve...

trying to protect my mother's honor.

- That's awful.

- Good Lord.

- Who told you that?

- Mama.

Eileen, you oughta be ashamed...

Child, that's some straight-up bull...

Madea!

Your daddy wasn't

killed by no white man.

He left your mama for a white

woman when you was two...

and your mama has been bitter

with white people ever since.

- What?

- Yes, years ago.

Ran off and joined the circus.

And now they on Glee,

Good show.

Glee? Mama, is this true?

Mama!

Lacey, I am so disappointed in you.

Look at her trying to

turn it around on you.

Girl, please.

You're disappointed in me?

Well, that went well.

At least she didn't have

another heart attack.

- Another one?

- Yeah, Madea.

Didn't you know that my mother

had a heart attack last year?

Your mama lied to you. She had gas.

Got to the doctor, she was clutching

her heart and the pearls.

Got there, doctor say it's gas.

- Wait, what?

- They put one of them rods up there.

Came flowing out like the River Jordan

and that was it. It was all over.

I had that once too.

Put it in there, come out sounding

like brakes coming out of...

The air pressure coming

out of one of them big rigs.

There it is. Then they tell

her she had heartburn.

- She didn't have no heart attack.

- She had heartburn?

She needs some of that Prilosec OTC.

She been manipulating you.

She as healthy as an ox.

Well, that woman's a

pretty pissed off ox.

Don't get behind her.

Don't light a match. Don't get

her next to an open flame.

We'll all have burnt heads.

Yeah, her farts can spell

her name, they so bad.

- Mama, he got her fired.

- That's all right. I'm upset too.

We should go, boy. We got work to do.

Why'd you do that to Mrs. Williams?

You know, she's a nice lady.

Why'd you get her fired?

You don't know what's

going on here, Bailey.

I know you don't like people

'cause of the way they look.

That ain't right! That's what

kids do to me at school!

It ain't fair. She's nice to me.

Don't you ever...

talk to me like that again.

You hear me?

Get out on that plow.

He is right, and you know it.

She made a deal with the devil.

No, you're actin' more like

the devil than she is.

And this is Christmas, Tanner.

This child still sitting out there.

That's just crazy as hell.

Where y'all going?

Well, Miss Media,

we're gonna bring her...

My name is Madea, honey.

- Madea.

- Thank you.

We're gonna bring her hot chocolate

to warm her hard, hard heart.

Hot chocolate does wonders.

It's delicious.

That's what got y'all in trouble,

the hot chocolate.

Your son with the hot chocolate.

I'm telling you. Let me

explain something to you.

Let me make this clear to y'all.

Leave her out there.

She is grown, sitting there.

If she want to come in the house,

she know how to get in. Leave her alone.

We're gonna go out and try.

We'll talk to her a bit.

Go on. Go on.

Okay. You better wear a cup.

That's comforting.

Boy, this is something else,

isn't it? It's freezing.

Remember, Buddy,

kill her with kindness.

My weenie is an inny right now.

Try to have as much charm with your

voice as you do with your weenie.

Well, tell you what.

I ain't used to this cold weather.

I know. All right?

I'm gonna have to wipe

with an ice scraper tonight.

Smile's all in patience.

Ask the Lord.

Lord, help us. The Serenity Prayer.

There ain't no cabs out here.

You wanna come back in the house?

I'm fine right here.

I made you some pipin' hot chocolate.

Thank you. I don't

want any chocolate.

My son likes chocolate.

Go ahead and laugh. This is awful.

What's so awful about it?

What world are you living in?

They are asking for trouble.

Eileen, I...

Mrs. Murphy to you.

Miss Murphy, you can take a knife

and cut all three of us right now.

You know what's gonna happen?

We're gonna bleed red.

Blood red. We're all the same inside.

That's true.

Mrs. Murphy, if I may...

our children, no matter what we think,

they will live their own lives.

- The world is changing.

- Not that much.

It is changing,

and that is a good thing.

Every generation sees

a little less division...

and a little more open

minds and open hearts.

I think we should be

happy and proud...

that our kids, our children...

see people as people.

That was beautiful.

- That was unbelievable.

- Thank you. I mean it.

Come in the house and get

to know us. We're good folks.

I know damn well you hear

me calling you. Eileen!

Traitor!

- Satan!

- Judas!

Beelzebub!

Come in. It is cold.

You got these people out here trying

to tempt you back in the house...

like a wet cat on a cold Sunday

morning who needs some milk.

Come in the house.

You're out here freezing.

Your ankles is whiter than snow.

Look like you been kicking flour.

My gosh, they are white.

Look, we are related.

I will not step into

that house of lies.

The girl is married. You can't

control every minute of her life.

Do you understand? It is Christmas.

Give this child the gift of being

able to do whatever she want to do.

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